Your advice would be greatly appreciated ......

[MALCOLM1979]

Hi there,
I’m not very experienced in relationships but consider myself be to very rational in all aspects of my life, including on an emotional level. Your advice on the below would be very much welcomed.

Background info: My older brother met his wife at the age of 15 at school and had an on-off relationship for 4 years. They then met up again 5 years later, got married and had kids. They are in a loving relationship, and have a lovely family. Whilst at school, my brother was very good friends with a girl called Sandra. My brother’s wife and Sandra now work together, and at a time of Sandra being single she asked my brothers wife to setup a date with me.

Myself, my brother, his wife and Sandra went out for a meal and drinks one night and had a good time.

On the second and third date, Sandra brought up the fact that she had a minor relationship at school with my brother. She said that the relationship was so insignificant that she would have expected by brother to not even remember it, so I never gave this a second thought.

However, only last week, she brought up my brother in a conversation and said how she thought he had changed, going into detail recalling little jokes that he had made 15 years ago at school which made her laugh, and that now when she sees him (only twice on recent family events), it’s like they never have anything to say to each other. I replied by stating he is more grown up now and in a loving relationship with his wife and kids, and people naturally change in that manner and over the course of time. I could tell that this wasn’t what she meant at all. She also said a couple of other things that lead to me think “why is she talking about this in so much detail i.e. she had obviously spent time thinking about this”. So, I asked if their school relationship was of a sexual nature, to which she looked away with a grin on her face, and didn’t verbally respond to me. This puzzled me a bit because she had previously said that my brother would not have remembered the relationship, but I know for a fact that my brother would not have forgotten having sex with someone (as most people don’t, especially blokes!).

I just can’t help but think that maybe there is a chance she is envious of my sister in law, and that maybe she thinks my brother was the one that got away.

I personally don’t really know what to make of this, if anything at all ?

Your advice would be greatly appreciated
Many thanks and best regards
Malcolm

[simonmagus]

Did you ask your brother if he ever had sex with her? I bet that they did or she would have answered your question. She sounds like one to watch out for... I see drama on the horizon.

[smackie9]

Your brother didn't stick it out with her for a reason....she's trouble. You are best to ditch the idea of dating her, because I feel she does have other ulterior motives.

[MALCOLM1979]

Thanks for the replies. I know without any doubt that she did sleep with my brother. When I asked her, her body language did not cover it up at all, guaranteed it happened. In fact, I dont know whether my sister in law even knows (I haven't even thought about this so far).

I'm going out with her tonight, and after a few drinks I will drop in the question "So, does my sister in law know that you had sex with my brother back at school". My eyes will be closey gauging her respone. I'm very good at reading people because I have always dominated people when it comes to looking at people when in discussion. If I found out that my sister in law doesn't know, thats it, completely done, all over. If this is the case, there would have been no reason for my sister in law to have not setup the date in the first place, and its obvious that Sandra does have an ulterior motive. If my sister in law does know, then I will have to resort to other options in sussing out what is going on.

Thanks again for the relpies, cheers

All further comments would be greatly welcomed