Time moves too freaking slowly

[Enchanté]

I feel pathetic. It's been nearly a month and a half since the break-up, and while I've made significant progress since then, there are still moments when I really just can't handle the pain. I'm going to be ok. Everyone tells me so, people go through this shit every day, far worse things could happen, I live an incredibly blessed life regardless, etc. I know all this. I really do. But I can't seem to make myself believe it. I'm ready to be ready to move on. I'm ready to not feel completely devastated every morning when I wake up. I'm ready to not waste half my day getting myself together, coaching myself into being happy, trying to force the positive thinking to stick. I know that worse things can and have happened. But right now, I can't get past this.

I don't really think there's any new advice anyone can give me other than to keep going, stay productive, focus on myself and moving on. The same old same old. I guess I just wanted to vent. Because it's far better spilling worthless thoughts onto an anonymous blog than other things possibly detrimental to my emotional health. Pardon my rambling, monsieurs et madames. C'est car il me manque chaque jour.

[Cerby]

"You are responsible for your own happiness."

This is true, and this is something you need to follow. He doesn't make you happy, you make you happy. Do the things you love to do, and start doing the things you used to to together that are apart of daily life. You need to phase all of that out and become one with yourself once again.

[DarkHelmet82]

stop living in the past.... its obsessive behavior

[Lifetime]

Sounds totally normal, depending on how long you guys were together, a month and a half isn't really that long. Just keep doing what you're doing, you sound like you are on the right track.

[pisces25]

You are aware of what is happening and know it will get better. That is a massive thing in itself. Hang in there. Each day is one step closer to feeling better.

[krifle]

It's been a month for me. I go to bed at night feeling incredible. I think 'There's no way I can wake up tomorrow sad again!'. Then tomorrow comes. The second my feet touch the ground, my mind races, and I start to wonder why I'm being put through this and what I'm going to do with myself. I suddenly remember that the person I still love is off with someone else. I'm much better than day 1. But I still have to call my mom daily and have her give me some encouraging words. It always works. Around evening I feel better. And the cycle repeats. Just takes time. But people are right when they say "It gets better." I didn't want to believe anyone.

[kamazaki]

time slows and pain in the chest..

[that one guy]

I feel pathetic. It's been nearly a month and a half since the break-up, and while I've made significant progress since then, there are still moments when I really just can't handle the pain. I'm going to be ok. Everyone tells me so, people go through this shit every day, far worse things could happen, I live an incredibly blessed life regardless, etc. I know all this. I really do. But I can't seem to make myself believe it. I'm ready to be ready to move on. I'm ready to not feel completely devastated every morning when I wake up. I'm ready to not waste half my day getting myself together, coaching myself into being happy, trying to force the positive thinking to stick. I know that worse things can and have happened. But right now, I can't get past this.

I don't really think there's any new advice anyone can give me other than to keep going, stay productive, focus on myself and moving on. The same old same old. I guess I just wanted to vent. Because it's far better spilling worthless thoughts onto an anonymous blog than other things possibly detrimental to my emotional health. Pardon my rambling, monsieurs et madames. C'est car il me manque chaque jour.

This is, more or less, how I feel every now and again. I truly believe I've made massive progress towards bettering myself and my well-being but I still get down. I've been told every piece of advice imaginable but it still boils down to what I feel and I still feel melancholy. Terrible feeling to posses because I know I'm better than that but I can't help how I feel.

[Enchanté]

yea it's just difficult. plain and simple. I know it just takes time, and that I just need to keep moving forward, living in the moment instead of the past, or worrying about the future, but sometimes pure human emotion just gets in the way. It does always seem fine in the evening, and miserable each morning, but I guess that's just the way it's going to be. It helps to have things to escape too, more or less--like a book or TV show or movie. Sometimes I'll even just go run errands so I can drive for a while, and lose myself in my music--music really helps to decide your mood, so creating a mix that doesn't have any memories of the ex attached to any of the songs can really help. One step at a time.

My biggest problem is getting myself to stop obsessing over what could happen in the future. My ex and I are states away from each other, but come end of the summer we won't be, and the thought of having to interact with him in the next couple of months drives me crazy; just envisioning the thousands of possibilities that could happen, because having no contact has been really helpful. Not having him in my life in any way has been the only reason I can start to get past it, and it worries me that the second I see him all the progress I've made will come crashing down.

[OmnicronPercei8]

It's been a month for me. I go to bed at night feeling incredible. I think 'There's no way I can wake up tomorrow sad again!'. Then tomorrow comes. The second my feet touch the ground, my mind races, and I start to wonder why I'm being put through this and what I'm going to do with myself. I suddenly remember that the person I still love is off with someone else. I'm much better than day 1. But I still have to call my mom daily and have her give me some encouraging words. It always works. Around evening I feel better. And the cycle repeats. Just takes time. But people are right when they say "It gets better." I didn't want to believe anyone.

When did I post this. Seriously you nailed that right on the head!

[confused&single]

I want to agree with LifeTime. You sound completely normal. Honestly the only thing you can do is do things to keep your mind off things. Or do things to vent, personally for me it's been writing. That's helped a lot. Then one day you'll wake up and you'll think "you know what, today I'm going to box everything up" and you'll be okay with it. I know it's the hardest thing to live through. But it's normal and you will live through it...It sounds like you are doing just fine. I have a few people that I'll call just talk about things again, even if it's the same stories or issues I have with him for the millionth time. It's so good to have people like that whom don't care if they've heard you talk about the same things over and over again. Talking about it helps (at least it helped me) work through things. They can also tell you that, "yes, you do appear to be getting better...you don't seem so sad". Those are the type of people you need to surround yourself with. And hell...cry if you need to. Who said there is a limit on when you shouldn't anymore. Get it all out even if its months after the break up. And when you see him again in the next few months, I promise you you'll be in a better place because you will have grown. You'll be able to handle yourself. The first time is always the hardest, just keep telling yourself that you don't need him...you can do this. Be your own best friend. You got this!

[DarkHelmet82]

my psychologist gave me an excercise... he said

I am allowed to think about it but take a 15 minute break every so often and tell yourself you will NOT think about it for 15 minutes... think about anything else or do something else.

[emotive]

Enchante, you can't forget someone you loved in one month. Healing from a breakup takes a lot of time, so what you are going through right now is normal. Stay positive and focus on yourself! You are on the right track. Un de perdu, dix de retrouves! Courage!

[that one guy]

yea it's just difficult. plain and simple. I know it just takes time, and that I just need to keep moving forward, living in the moment instead of the past, or worrying about the future, but sometimes pure human emotion just gets in the way. It does always seem fine in the evening, and miserable each morning, but I guess that's just the way it's going to be. It helps to have things to escape too, more or less--like a book or TV show or movie. Sometimes I'll even just go run errands so I can drive for a while, and lose myself in my music--music really helps to decide your mood, so creating a mix that doesn't have any memories of the ex attached to any of the songs can really help. One step at a time.

My biggest problem is getting myself to stop obsessing over what could happen in the future. My ex and I are states away from each other, but come end of the summer we won't be, and the thought of having to interact with him in the next couple of months drives me crazy; just envisioning the thousands of possibilities that could happen, because having no contact has been really helpful. Not having him in my life in any way has been the only reason I can start to get past it, and it worries me that the second I see him all the progress I've made will come crashing down.

Exactly. My ex and I live states away and I know she's off with someone else. It's come to acceptance for the most part but that still doesn't let my mind wander where it definitely shouldn't be. It's like my mind wants me to feel depressed and I can't understand why. Music has also been a tremendous help for me. I've tried to stray from songs that remind me of my ex but I still seem to run into them unintentionally. Just a month or so ago, I was at a bar and our song started playing. I was astonished. Especially considering how frequently I go to that bar and never once have they played it. I couldn't handle it and broke down in front of a number of friends. Horrible but it is what it is. I have some pretty liberating music on my iPod and try to listen to it as often as possible. When I do, I feel amazing and 100% confident in myself but then I come back to the realization of everything. I get depressed way more often than I should and I'm on anti-depressants. I just don't get it.