This male is stupid, ideas?

[jessld]

Pretty sure I'm damn confused.

Meet this guy online we were speaking for a while and than we finally meet. Sunday last week at the pub and were there talking for 5-6hrs non stop (and this is with hardly even having a drink) he than invited me to dinner (and before you say anything dinner actually meant DINNER) Spent every day with him but Monday and Friday even though he was beging me to come over. I even took a sickie and we spent all Wed night - Thurs night together. Sat he had to have an early night (he had to fly back to work I even offered to take him to work but he said no coz its to early for me to get up in the morning) so I didn't stat the night. He picked me up took be to the movies and paid for me. Than took me to his place and I got picked up and went out.To me he seems keen. So I messaged him when he was at work and said "I had a great week with you and I think I kinda like you" his response was "I liked spending time with you 2but not 2 sure I want a gf" my response "Yeah thats cool its not like I wanna rush into anything just wanna see were everything goes" his response "yeah sounds good 2 me"
Throughout the week he was in town he always messaged me during the day and than I was at his place. And now his at work while his meant to be on the mines his emailing me ALL day still and talking to me online ALL NIGHT.

Oh yeah his a very very very very shy guy.

I know for fact his still talking to other girls on this site were we meet. But his still talking to me even more than he use to.

So what I'm pretty much trying to find out. What is his deal. Ive never felt so confused. Is he just shy or is there more to this guy than his letting on

[leoben]

He's not stupid, just doesn't want to have sex and I doubt it's anything to do with you. If he didn't find you attractive he wouldn't have invited you out to dinner already knowing what you look like.

Despite the stereotypes of men wanting sex all the time, there are still guys that aren't that comfortable with it for whatever reason. They still crave affection and connection though, and will gladly offer you all the trappings of a relationship, sans sex, in order to get them.

If you enjoy his company and can stand not taking things further, then go with it! The amount of attention will probably go up and down though as other women come and go from his life. Up to you if you think it's a good deal.

[akatrma]

I think he still is choosing. To be effective in online dating as a guy you need to play several hands at the same time. The rejection rate for us guys is kind of high. So the no gf kind of comment probably means he also talking to others on that site. The no sex part might be his way of not being an a..hole, as he can always play the i just wanted to be your friend card later. This is my guess, but it might not be true in your casr.

[jessld]

Um I didnt say we havent had sex we have and his still hanging around so its all a llittle odd for me. From past experience well this has never happened i might go on a date with some and things get a little hot and heavy and never hear from them again. never had someone like him hang around so thats why im confused his hanging around and still being sweet its so odd well i think its odd for australian guys that is

[leoben]

Um I didnt say we havent had sex we have and his still hanging around so its all a llittle odd for me. From past experience well this has never happened i might go on a date with some and things get a little hot and heavy and never hear from them again. never had someone like him hang around so thats why im confused his hanging around and still being sweet its so odd well i think its odd for australian guys that is

Oh, well in that case he's probably just a nice player.

[jessld]

The world has nice players? ahhh cool lol

[Wakeup]

his response was "I liked spending time with you 2but not 2 sure I want a gf"

Read that over and over and over and believe it. Thats his way of telling you he'll take any sex you allow him but don't expect commitment.

The world has nice players? ahhh cool lol

They are usually very charming. Being that and the fact that there are woman that don't listen to things like the quote above and they don't take them at face value, gives said charming players lots of opportunity to get laid so why would thet commit to just one? * Sex is easy to come by. You'll have to offer more than your poonannie in order to secure this one.

[HeartIsAching]

So... what do you mean "This male is stupid"?

He got sex from you, got your company, and now doesn't want to have a "girlfriend". You got played.

Who's stupid?

[MaidenMinx]

Ok, firstly guys are guys whether they are Aussie or not.

He's a miner, I'm assuming you live in the town he goes home to when he gets time off? He wants a regular root with a girl he at least likes, but isn't ready to commit to anyone. The fact that he can treat you like this says that he will never consider you anything more. I doubt he'll treat you badly per se while he uses you, but this is not a bf waiting to happen.

And yes, there are some absolutely charming players out there. One I played with for a while appeared to be one of the most romantic guys I had ever met. He gave me flowers, got us gorgeous 4 -5 star hotel rooms (he was living with his folks I was living with an ex), would lavish me with dinner etc. It took me a little while to realise I was being played. Oh and here is another point, some players want one night stands, others want a few chicks around that they bonk regularly to avoid boredom. I personally have no problem with players if they are honest and up front. That is a rarity.

[IncognitoSir]

So... what do you mean "This male is stupid"?

He got sex from you, got your company, and now doesn't want to have a "girlfriend". You got played.

Who's stupid?

Ice Cold!!!!!

[HeartIsAching]

Ice Cold!!!!!

I know. I shouldn't have said it, I just took issue with the name calling.

[Gratedwasabi]

Heh.

Just to clarify for women out there.. "I'm not sure I want a girlfriend right now." after a guy has slept with you means he's a player. Period. It's the greatest line ever created for a player. It immediately puts you in the wrong if you try to push for more.. yet you want more even more badly now that he's less available to you. By responding in agreement, you basically sign a contract saying he can use you for sex and entertainment as he, and only he, sees fit.

He's a player. Just wants lots of sex without having to commit.

[sadie_genie]

Sounds like he is keeping his options open. He isn't shy.

[unknown88]

Before I start I want to say that I always try and assume the best in people and think of reasons I personally would act in this way so my comment is pretty much an alternative response...if another guy can point out something I missed and prove my below comment wrong then feel free to explain and I will take it on board as a personal life lesson, my comment is not absolute in anyway...so here it goes;

I'd go as far to say he's smitten with you ...I did think obssessive for a split second though since you used the word "begging" but nothing after that seemed obsessive, he seems pretty sincere and into you, you can't say "he's speaking to other girls still" because it depends how he's speaking to them, he could genuinely just be interested in you and friends with them, friends of the opposite gender should not have to be a problem.

Before people argue about my above statement (which you are totally within your rights to do so...)
Yes, he may be a player...but is he sleeping with anyone else? Does he flirt with anyone else? Sex is built into our nature as human beings, he finds you attractive and wants to sleep with you and talks to you almost every waking moment he lives...and he talks to other girls how? As a friend? Maybe he doesn't want to be tied down yet...but yes...him being a player is very possible ASSUMING he's flirting with other people...or maybe he is worried about commitment...talk with him, if he wont open up and talk to you then if he really worth your time anyway? by talk to you I don't mean general chat 24/7...you're already at that stage, see if he will open up in conversation and find out WHY he doesn't want commitment, this response is pretty much the answer you need to know if he's a player or not, but i's always an issue you can work on.

[Wakeup]

Heh.

Just to clarify for women out there.. "I'm not sure I want a girlfriend right now." after a guy has slept with you means he's a player. Period. It's the greatest line ever created for a player. It immediately puts you in the wrong if you try to push for more.. yet you want more even more badly now that he's less available to you. By responding in agreement, you basically sign a contract saying he can use you for sex and entertainment as he, and only he, sees fit.

He's a player. Just wants lots of sex without having to commit.

Listen up ladies...