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Thread: Idk what he wants hes confusing the !@#$% out of me.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    1

    Idk what he wants hes confusing the !@#$% out of me.

    So me and my ex broke up in may for the second time. And now we have fallen into a friends with benefits arrangement of sorts. He made a promise to me he wouldnt sleep with anyone else and he is also my first.Now I understand what friends with benefits entails but what I dont understand is him.Told me he didnt know what he wanted.He also told me he was no longer in love with me in may only to tell me he doesn't know if he is or isnt. Then told me he was in love with me but saw me as a friend. -___- Idk in what world that makes sense in. He calls me often, almost everyday and gets angry when i don't answer (which btw hes not supposed to be speaking to me because another issue in which he might get kicked out of his house if they found hes talking to me yet he still does). When he calls he sometimes doesn't talk but just lets me ramble, or we will sit their in silence but he wont want to hang up when i ask him. He tells me he doesn't care about me and other guys but then starts asking me if i have done anything with anyone else, if I have gone on dates, etc. Gets jealous when I go out with male friends, and speaks ill of other guys ive previously liked. But then tells me to go on a date and to see how it goes but "to not kiss them or anything". Tells me he loves me before hanging up sometimes and gets annoyed when i don't reply back. But then if I start talking about a relationship, he gets mad and tells me we are not bf and gf we are just friends with benefits. And when we are together, he still treats me like his gf. Its almost as if we are still together.He hasn't gone on dates with anyone that i know of. Hes received other offers for fwb who will be way better than me and much more simpler If I talk about other guys he will say he doesn't care but gets annoyed about it. And when I put him on the spot about such things, he gets mad or says hes never going to go out with me again so i should just stop or he will stop talking to me. (which hes tried and he cant last a week without talking to me) . If i withhold things from him he also gets mad. Or if i bring up feelings, he'll avoid them or tell me he only sees me for sex. Which he does bring up that subject often.

    So I guess what I want to know is , does he still love me or care about me? And what should I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    1,517
    He seems like he wants everything. He wants all the benefits of being in a relationship without being in a relationship. His jealousy and passive aggressive behavior is a big tip off for that.
    You agreed to a FWB situation. But that doesn't mean you have to discuss everything with him. If you want to go out with other people, just don't talk to him about them. It is none of his business. If he can't handle that, then he most likely is not mature enough to handle a FWB situation much less a relationship.

    Good luck.
    Brought to you by Dating With Devon!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    he'll avoid them or tell me he only sees me for sex. Which he does bring up that subject often.
    What more do you need to know. He's your controlling, abusive FWB. You're his warm wet place to masturbate who does everything he wants and when he wants it.

    When you're ready to ask us how you go about giving him up completely so that you can get over him and meet someone who actually wants you as his exclusive and mutually loving partner, let us know and we'll be happy to guide you there. What you are in now is abuse. Darl'n... he's no friend.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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