Hi guys, i'm in my early 20s and so is my girlfriend. We've been going out more then 5 years and we love each other very much. Although we have a few problems that we can never fix. This is one of them and it really makes me think for hours if i'm a good boyfriend or not. It might seem stupid to others but its a major problem in my relationship.
My girlfriend works in the city and we both live in the suburbs 30kms from the city. she lives 30kms from me. jsut to give you a image of distance. we both drive and have cars and she usually takes the train to work in the mornings/afternoons. some days she'll ask me to take her to work and bring her back home on the same day.i will usually pick her up from work but only occasionally take her to work if there is a reason. i some times have a problem bringing her to work because sometimes i want to just have my own time and see her later or just feel like its too much driving.
she has a problem with this as she'll say that i'm her boyfriend and she should be able to rely on me when she wants me to take her some where which is fair enough. today we had an arguement/fight because i told her i wanted to have my own time today but she said she wanted me to take her to work. meaning id have to pick her up form her house, take her to work, drive back home and then 8 hours later drive to her work, drop her off to her house and then drive back to my house.
i stood my ground and told her i wanted the day for myself and that i'd pick her up after work. i've just been feeling very tired lately and was with my mum in the morning doing some shopping and other things since its my day off work. she told me that its not that i cant take her to work but its because i can't be bothered, she called me a sh#t boyfriend and that she can't rely on me etc. i asked her why she can't take her self to work (by train) and she said because she wanted more time to rest and so that she had time to make her lunch but the main thing was that she thinks i can't be bothered.
now this happens all the time and its really making me feel bad because i want to be there for her but i jsut feel like shes asking too much.i don't have a problem with picking her up but doing both feels like such a journey for me when she can easily take the train. she angry with me now and i'm left to feel like i'm a selfish lazy boyfriend.
now can some one tell me if i am? because if i am i am prepared to be better for her because this happens all the time and its really weakening our relationship. if i'm not the one in the wrong how do i approach her to get the subject across to her without hurting her feelings? i'm very confused and have been for a while as to know if what i'm doing is right or not. i lvoe her and i want her to be safe all the time which is also one of the reasons why she wants me to take her to work and pick her up, but at the same time i feel like i'm babying her and that she should be a little bit more independant. i just want to know if i'm wrong so i know to make it better.
thanks guys.