Please, help!!!

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 04:09 AM

This was the best thing he could have done for you. Thats all you need to know to be able to get on with your life without him.[/QUOTE]

I think he did it for himself, not for me. I don't think this man could have any consideration for me. If he brought me back it probably was to get rid of me because he couldn't handle it. He asked me to go to Aus with him after meeting me and only after a week or so he realises he does not want me there....he can't handle anything by himself and he has to call his mother for every movement he makes in his life. They probably both decided it was better to send me back so that her poor son wouldn't get too stressed with emotional issues.

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 04:14 AM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

How do you know he wasn't abusive the the first girl? Did you talk to her? Because if you didn't, then you are going by his words only and I'd not trust his words for one minute.

Now... stop looking for answers to questions that will not help you in the least. You need to start asking questions of yourself and why you stayed to let this man treat you like shit. You'd still be there letting him abuse you if he didn't dump you back where you came from and then leave.

This was the best thing he could have done for you. Thats all you need to know to be able to get on with your life without him.

And I don't think he was dumping me back because when I asked him why he was coming with me here he said: "this way the doors for the relationship are open, whereas if you leave by yourself the relationship is finished". When he left he said: "I love you, we will be together again in a couple of weeks and we will buy a house together". It is difficult to believe that what he was actually doing was dumping me.

**Wakeup** · 22-06-11, 04:26 AM

(I think there was something wrong with her and being with him triggered it)

and yet you don't think he was abusive with her?

Hello! he abused you mentally as well as physically. It is very, very likely that he did the same to his ex that he did to you. You see only what you want to see.
You don't seem to listen either...

vvvvvvvvv

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 04:30 AM

what I mean when I say that I think there was something wrong with her is that she had some sort of mental problem, I believe, not because of him, she just had something from before. All I know is that after the 3 months they lived together and she returned to her country, she ended up in a mental place.
no, there was no sign of him abusing her physically like he did with me.

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

and yet you don't think he was abusive with her?

Hello! he abused you mentally as well as physically. It is very, very likely that he did the same to his ex that he did to you. You see only what you want to see.
You don't seem to listen either...

vvvvvvvvv

It looks like to me that he wanted her and he didn't want me. Maybe while being with me he wished I was her. Reason being: because while being with me he still was saying he should have tried the relationship with her harder. He did say to me that he would be married with her by now 4 years...he kept talking about her

**pcmaster** · 22-06-11, 08:03 PM

Give him to read this so he will see himself, hopefully that helps a bit. Also do the same things as he do to you like masturbate infront of him and hit him, when he acts like something is wrong say he have too hight demands if he stays with you after that it means he loves you same much as you do. Also you said he wants you to stay and than next day he says you to leave. I think his mother suggesting him to end up with ya so she can be the only woman in his life again(ha ha).

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 08:08 PM

About the mother, at the beginning I think she wanted me there. In fact, I think she is really looking for someone to take care of his son and replace her. Probably, she does know that her son is not capable of being by himself so she wants a woman to take care of him. If at 48 years of age, he has only lived with me and another woman. both of us it was only for 3 months

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by pcmaster

Give him to read this so he will see himself, hopefully that helps a bit. Also do the same things as he do to you like masturbate infront of him and hit him, when he acts like something is wrong say he have too hight demands if he stays with you after that it means he loves you same much as you do. Also you said he wants you to stay and than next day he says you to leave. I think his mother suggesting him to end up with ya so she can be the only woman in his life again(ha ha).

And my main question is: if he was going to do all that, if he did not want me there, why did he ask me to go to the other side of the world to have a relationship????

**sarahprincess** · 22-06-11, 08:26 PM

its obvious you dont have much self esteem. So what if he didnt abuse his ex, he abused YOU. YOU. Why would you put up with that crap? I dont know what has happened in your past with abuse before this guy, but you deserve better than being abused like that. If you end up contacting this guy again you will never be happy.

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by sarahprincess

its obvious you dont have much self esteem. So what if he didnt abuse his ex, he abused YOU. YOU. Why would you put up with that crap? I dont know what has happened in your past with abuse before this guy, but you deserve better than being abused like that. If you end up contacting this guy again you will never be happy.

I know he abused me. I am trying to see what is wrong with him, why he asked me to go there in the first place then?
I don't know if he abused the one before me. All I know is that he kept her in limbo for more than a year while they were apart and he would never be clear and determined

**Cinnabella** · 22-06-11, 08:45 PM

It looks like he was with you to realise that he should try harder with his ex, and this is not a good thing, either way, i feel like this guy is not into you, he only realise after a very long time, you better help yourself by get out of it and get heal!

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Cinnabella

It looks like he was with you to realise that he should try harder with his ex, and this is not a good thing, either way, i feel like this guy is not into you, he only realise after a very long time, you better help yourself by get out of it and get heal!

it is difficult to know because it was already 2 years everything had finished with his ex and just before he met me he was thinking of taking another girl (a different one from his ex) he had met online to his country so how was he doing that with someone else if he was still thinking of the ex?

**Cinnabella** · 22-06-11, 09:00 PM

Because from what you said, that he should of tried harder with his ex. And that girl is somehow similar to you, cause he took you to his country and then push you away, there are no reasons except some barriers in his head, he must have something in his head that you probably don't know.

**bluedolphin** · 22-06-11, 09:12 PM

Well, the story is as follows: this girl went with him to his country where she lived with him for 3 months. Because she was Indian she was expecting marriage within those 3 months, which didn't happen because there were problems, according to him, that she was not trusting and she would get angry, etc....although she was getting angry becasue she wanted commitment, which he wasn't offering. She had to leave back to her country because her visa expired. She ended up in a mental place (I think she had originally some sort of mental problem). He kept her in limbo without giving her answers for a full year communicating by email although they didn't communicate for 5 months since she was in a mental place and doctors didn't allow her to communicate with him. I think because of him distressing her she ended up in the mental place. After a full year he went back to india and met with her for 1 week. Apparently he was going to marry her but he didn't in the end, again he wasn't sure, etc..... She told him that he wasn't serious about her and told him she wanted it finished. That was in February 2008. Still in July 2008 he went back to india but she told him "no" so that was the end.

Then in december 2008 he met another girl india. He communicated with her for 1 and 1/2 year or so and he went twice to india to see her. In January 2010 he told her by email to go to his country and to marry, bla, bla bla (I think he offers marriage because he knows in Indian culture he cannot play around...you have to offer marriage to a girl or else you cannot be with her). Anyway, this girl didn't want to leave her country and career and she made it clear she wasn't going to go with him.

Then in April 2010 he met me online. We were talking for 4 months and then he came to europe to see me for 3 weeks. After 2 months I went with him as he asked me to and then from the very moment I arrived there he started talking about the first girl, the one who lived there 3 months

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