will she cheat while studying abroad?

[ScottP89]

my girlfriend and i have been together for about a year now. we go to the same school, but this summer, she's going to be studying abroad in australia for a month. soon after we started dating, she kissed a guy when she was drunk at a party. then a few months later, a guy kissed her when she was at a party and she immediately left and told me about it, and ive never had any trouble since then with her. i sort of shrugged the two situations off but i let her know i was upset about them. being as she has the tendency to do things when im not there (i.e. the two examples), im worried that she's getting drunk over there and cheating on me this whole time. there's no way for me to really know what happened over there, so what should i do? i think if she did do anything, she would just lie about it to not mess up our good relationship that we have going.

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

hello mate! im australian and guess what? we drink......................LOTS! where is she staying?

to be honest man its sounds like you have been induced into a really hard situation. i feel for you man not one person here on this forum will be able to put your mind to rest and i really mean that. if she has kisses and or "been kissed" in the past then i would start shitting bricks if i were you. if she moved to the other side of the world without really thinking about you then i would be ruined.

thats just me, seriously if my GF moved to another country then yeah.......forget it.

even when she does come back would you trust here? HONESTLY!? would you? if there is a slight doubt then forget the whole thing as hard as it sounds because the is nothing worse in the world then staying in a rship when you have doubts. its a slow decay and it will end in FAIL

dont just take my word for it, this forum can be brutally honest. chin up mate, i hope your okay. =Þ

[ScottP89]

yeah, it's not what i wanted to hear, but i guess it's what i needed to hear. it seems like she's a completely different person when she drinks and would do stuff that she would never think about doing when she's sober. she comes back in a little over a week, so i guess i'll see what she has to say when she does get back.

[steviej]

Drunk english girls abroad are always sleazed on because they put out the easiest! If you can't trust her then you won't believe what she's told you and it'll destroy the relationship.

[gina mantis]

Speaking only from experience, when I'm with someone (and I have feelings for them) I generally tend to not put my tongue in other people's mouths. I feel like some people use alcohol as an excuse to act out. I mean of course, you give certain people a couple of drinks and they CAN become totally different people, but this relationship has already had a rocky start -- you can't trust her! I mean, how can you, she's already cheated on you twice. And how can you say that you have a "good" relationship going, when you're positive that if she did cheat on you, she'd lie about it?!

I don't want to drop a bomb or anything, but I don't see what the point is of driving yourself crazy for 30 days thinking that she's with some other guy when there are tons of other girls out there who wouldn't test your trust... I'm not saying break up with her, but you need to have a serious talk about your trust issues. "Good" relationships imply that you can be at peace when you're away from someone with the fact that they won't cheat on you. Living in fear of an unfaithful partner is unfair to you both. Good luck!

[ScottP89]

i guess i shouldnt go so far as to break up with her right away. i suppose i really need to talk to her about what shes doing and how its hurting me. having someone get out of control when they drink is even worse when the other person already doesnt trust them. i really appreciate everyones opinions. when you try to think about things with only your own input, you come up with crazy reasonings. not mention when you love someone you're already so blinded to start with.

Speaking only from experience, when I'm with someone (and I have feelings for them) I generally tend to not put my tongue in other people's mouths. I feel like some people use alcohol as an excuse to act out. I mean of course, you give certain people a couple of drinks and they CAN become totally different people, but this relationship has already had a rocky start -- you can't trust her! I mean, how can you, she's already cheated on you twice. And how can you say that you have a "good" relationship going, when you're positive that if she did cheat on you, she'd lie about it?!

I don't want to drop a bomb or anything, but I don't see what the point is of driving yourself crazy for 30 days thinking that she's with some other guy when there are tons of other girls out there who wouldn't test your trust... I'm not saying break up with her, but you need to have a serious talk about your trust issues. "Good" relationships imply that you can be at peace when you're away from someone with the fact that they won't cheat on you. Living in fear of an unfaithful partner is unfair to you both. Good luck!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Break up before she goes, and tell her you know she won't be able to resist hot Australian guys when drunk, so she's free and you can resume the relationship after she comes back if she chooses.

[ScottP89]

Break up before she goes, and tell her you know she won't be able to resist hot Australian guys when drunk, so she's free and you can resume the relationship after she comes back if she chooses.

well she's already left. i said something to her about breaking up before she left and getting back together afterwards just to see what she would say, and she looked upset at the idea and immediately told me no. i can only hope she won't do anything, but i will find out if she does because when she gets drunk she tells on herself. and if she does, even as blinded by love as i am, i will have to break up with her no matter how small of a thing it was.

[Windmillback]

It sounds like the two of you are young, since she is in studies. Why don't you not have your mins ruined for 30 days, not worry about it so much. Put a smaller emotional investment into this relationship, realize that it may not be your final one. If all is well when she gets back, it is well, but if things sour from here on, at least you saw it coming a bit and will be somewhat prepared for it.

[ScottP89]

It sounds like the two of you are young, since she is in studies. Why don't you not have your mins ruined for 30 days, not worry about it so much. Put a smaller emotional investment into this relationship, realize that it may not be your final one. If all is well when she gets back, it is well, but if things sour from here on, at least you saw it coming a bit and will be somewhat prepared for it.

yes, we are both in college. i feel like when she gets back, things are going to end very well or very badly. if she cheats on me while she is over there, i can never forgive her and i will break up with her. however, if she doesnt, i dont believe she would ever cheat on me as this would be the most amazing opportunity she will probably ever have to do so. this trip is going to make or break the relationship. also, i wish i wasnt so emotionally invested in this relationship as i would have gotten rid of her at the first thing she did.