I finished with my ex but I made a mistake and want him back......

[ladyl]

I was seeing a guy from work for 9 months but we were taking it slowly as we've both beeb married before. Everything was fine and he has a little boy who I get on great with. We went on holiday just the two of us and it was fab and I told him I loved him. He didn't say it back then when we came home I felt like he was being a bit distant and I didn't see him for a week. Although in hindsight I felt really vulnerable and maybe pulled away a bit too.

Then I just totally convinced myself that he didn't feel the same way so what was the point and I finished it that was 2 weeks ago. I also had pmt so was feeling really negative and down anyway. There was no contact for a few days then I texted to say I missed him and he said he missed me too. Then the next day he said he wanted to be friends, and I emailed him trying to explain why I finished it and he said he just couldn't committ to saying he loved me becasue he's been heart broken before but that he hoped his actions showed love. So I asked if we could start again and he said we should talk things through next week but I got really annoyed as I just want to see him to try and sort it out so I said forget it your clearly not bothered. Then never heard from hom for a few days and he texted me saying hi a few days ago and we exchanged a few texts but again I ended up getting annoyed as he never mentioned talking so I sent him a really pathetic text saying that he was obviously too cold for me anyway so we should just leave it at that. Haven't heard from him since. I feel like I'm just lashing out at him because he's not saying what I want him to.

I know I've been really immature and he was definitely willing to talk until I went all psycho immature on him. Now I feel like I've totally lost him for good. I just want to call him but I'm thinking I should probably give him some space and see if I ever hear from him again. Any advice would be good.

[LaMb ChOp]

If I were you I would text him apologising for your previous text but explaining that you felt frustrated as you really want to talk to him but you know you shouldn't have taken it out on him like that. Suggest a day/time for your talk but let him know that you don't want to meet up to have a go, but that you want to discuss things in an adult manner. Wait until a time when you are ready to deal with what you might not want to hear, so that if his response isn't what you want you don't get annoyed with him again and make things even worse.

[OmnicronPercei8]

I agree. A face to face meeting is in order as you're trying to take the worst out of what is or isn't said by non-verbal communication. In any case, do some soul searching for yourself to make sure he is absolutely what you're wanting to be with and for Heaven's sake give him time to allow himself to be able to express his feelings for you. You may be acting irrationally because you're not ready to give yourself completely either, and to move on to that next step you will both need to be on the same page.

[ladyl]

Yeah thanks for the advice. I'm dying to contact him but I think I'll give him space for a few days then get in touch and see if he wants to talk.

[ladyl]

Yeah I have already apologised and last week he sounded like he wanted to talk things through. I definitely have been too impatient. But today he texted me saying 'can we just be friends for now' I'm totally gutted and can't be friends because I love him and would always be hoping for more. I just replied saying thanks for letting me know and I asked what had changed since last week when he wanted to talk and he hasn't responded. I'm just gonna have to not contact him again and accept that it's over. Totally devastated.

[fuchsia_bee]

Sometimes u don't have to give up so easy. Give him some space and after that try some new tricks to get his attention. People are impatient by nature...but with a little self-control and ambition I think you can do it. Good luck

[ladyl]

Thanks. I'm going to not contact him and avoid the office he works in for a few weeks then maybe I'll see if he wants to catch up.

[fuchsia_bee]

maybe this will also help you [url=http://www.myexbackcode.com/]The easy 7 steps code to getting your ex back[/url]

[ladyl]

Thanks Fuchsia_Bee feeling particularly rubbish today. It's day 4 of no contact and I've just been on a night out and it's made me think about him and miss him even more. Been doing quite well too but I guess that's bound to happen. Will check out the link. L

[fuchsia_bee]

it's good that you were out. try to enjoy it more and think about him less. i know it is hard but you can do it if you really want good luck

[hello1]

To be honest it doesn't sound like he is very bothered about you. If a man wanted you, he be in constant contact with you and he couldn't go days without texting.

I say give up on this one and move on

[Wakeup]

Sometimes u don't have to give up so easy. Give him some space and after that try some new tricks to get his attention. People are impatient by nature...but with a little self-control and ambition I think you can do it. Good luck

Fuchia... what is this with you enabling people by telling them hopeful things ALL the time where it is quite obvious that there is no hope. You give this poor woman false expectations and you link her to internet garbage about "how to get your ex back" when we all know that none of that shit works unless BOTH parties want to be together. You cannot make someone want you. I'm sure you mean well but there is no sense in telling every OP you post to that there is good hope when there clearly is not. That's just cruel.

OP: My advice: Keep the non contact going and get on with your life.
However: If you want one more crack at him tell him you are sorry for your impatience and unnecessary hostility and does he think there is a chance to reconcile. At least you'll know 100% one way or the other so you can quit any false hope and cling to things you want to hear.

if he does want to meet with you again Becareful he doesn't take you back just to enjoy sex with you and nothing more. You've not been behaving very well with texting him and then basically telling him to fk off when he doesn't jump as high as you would like him to. Before you call him again, make sure you know what you want because you sound like one mixed up person.

[fuchsia_bee]

Wakeup...i say hopeful things because i am a quite optimistic person...by nature...and believe me, if i'll have a "f*ck him/her" opinion i'll post one of those. what is it so cruel? telling people not to give up after trying once? everybody deserves a second chance...but that is just my opinion. and about internet garbage...it works in some cases...i have friends, you know... so, it seems that the two of us don't think alike...or not in some cases anyway. o, and btw...fyi...hope dies last so please think twice before telling that i am a cruel person...because i really am not.thanks

[Wakeup]

I didn't say YOU were cruel I said your advice based on the opening post was cruel because this man, by all accounts has lost patience with Lady's off and on tactics. She demands too much and now he has asked her to just be friends for now.

Being optimistic is a lovely attribute to have and I commend you for that, but being optimistic in some cases is not prudent... IMO.

[ladyl]

I'm with you Fuchsia_Bee obvioulsy it's not the end of the world and I am getting on with my life but millions of couples split up every day after having affairs etc and get back together. So there's always hope right, and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't but that's just life eh?! Some people are just negative and judgemental by nature I guess.

Thanks L