Confused... Need help

[bella86]

I've been in a relationship for 5 years. I care about him very much and when things are good between us I am so happy. He makes me laugh and can be very sweet. The problem is this is only like 5% of the time. The other 95% he is apathetic and mean. He makes me cry almost every day and screams at me for being upset. He calls me names, and I've caught him cheating so many times I can't count. I want to leave so bad, but the thought of him not being there kills me. I don't have many friends so he is one of the only people I talk to. I have tried to leave many times before but when I do he cries and begs for me to stay, making promises he never keeps. Lately he has been bringing me down so much I have begun to hurt myself because I don't know how to handle all the pain. Even though he has hurt me so many times, it devastates me to think about hurting him when I leave. I always think about the good times and how much I will miss him. How do I actually do this without turning around and running back like I always do?

[IncognitoSir]

there is a word for what you're experiencing, forgot what it is though. it's like the woman who gets beat everyday by her husband, but won't leave. Go to your parents home, or someone else you trust. Don't tell me this is the only person in your life that you can lean on, hope that's not the case. Look at what you're saying.......a mere 5% of the time you're happy and 95% of the time you're miserable. that means you're happy for like 2 hours and 20 minutes a day your happy, the rest is just misery. Why live your life this way? You've lost your self respect, self worth, and self esteem......and he realizes this. You need to find yourself, but that won't happen as long as you stay. Get out......like now, right now.

[Boisdevie]

You need therapy. Nobody deserves to be treated in such a way but you're unable to leave. So you need professional help.

[nathan joseph]

Willpower....once you get passed the 3 month mark NC youll make it....I promise.

[Wakeup]

I've been in a relationship for 5 years. I care about him very much and when things are good between us I am so happy. He makes me laugh and can be very sweet. The problem is this is only like 5% of the time. The other 95% he is apathetic and mean. He makes me cry almost every day and screams at me for being upset. He calls me names, and I've caught him cheating so many times I can't count. I want to leave so bad, but the thought of him not being there kills me. I don't have many friends so he is one of the only people I talk to. I have tried to leave many times before but when I do he cries and begs for me to stay, making promises he never keeps. Lately he has been bringing me down so much I have begun to hurt myself because I don't know how to handle all the pain. Even though he has hurt me so many times, it devastates me to think about hurting him when I leave. I always think about the good times and how much I will miss him. How do I actually do this without turning around and running back like I always do?

Here is something for you to think about and as brutal as it's going to sound.. you need to hear it.

Unless you plan on getting yourself away from this man, getting yourself some therapy and then NEVER EVER talking to him again. Do not waste peoples time asking for advice that you will not take. It's that simple.

Mine, for what it is worth is for you to call Social Services in your area and tell them your story and ask them how they can help or who can they direct you to that can help you with your inability to keep yourself away from this bastard that you are addicted to. I suspect this is not the first time you've sought advice only to ignore it and go back to this man. Don't keep asking questions and never acting on strategies that will allow you to stop the cycle.

You can also go to your family doctor, tell him what you've told us and get him to refer you to a good psychiatrist that will help you with your self-worth so that you believe that you deserve better than this abuse and eventually with your own hard work on yourself, you'll have the strength and enough love for yourself to leave for good. Do something first thing in the morning. Start action now.. you need to believe in yourself in order to leave him and his 5% niceness and 95% abuse to you.

[kenny12]

see through it all. see through him and his emotional blackmail tactics. see it for what it is.

ask yourself,"what is the worst thing that could happen if i persist and not turn back to him?" mostly it's our minds playing tricks telling us we can't do without him, feeling sorry for leaving him. ask yourself, if you can bear being with him longer and for how long.

thinking it through, seeking the answers within you, will help you to see it for what it is. when you have clarity, it's easier to stand by your decision without succumbing to his temptations and emotional blackmail