Recently broke up with my girlfriend now I am starting to question my decision

[jeesh]

I could be described as a bit needy and possibly co-dependent. The longest relationship I have been in lasted 5 years which ended in early 2007. I was then single for 4 years until I met my ex who i was with for 3 months and recently broke up with. I am finding myself questioning my decision. The reason I broke up with her was pretty trivial but I ran out of patience with her. The majority of the communication in the relationship was over facebook. When I first met her she was only working a casual job but then she got a full time job which meant I didn't see her for a week and a half and barely spoke to her in that time. It shouldn't have meant that cause we were working the same hours but she complained about being tired cause she hadn't worked full time for a while. She had some issues with her vagina and decided to get tested for STD's. It seemed pretty impossible to me that we had been having unprotected sex for 3 months then suddenly she starts showing symptoms. So it had been 8 days since I had seen her and we were chatting on facebook and she was getting the results of her tests the following day and told me she would speak to me then. The next day comes along and she doesn't contact me. I was drinking with a mate that night and at the end of the night sent her a message over facebook breaking up with her. I wasn't nasty in the message at all just basically said stuff like you couldn't even manage to tell me the results of your tests which involves me, I haven't seen you in a week and a half and barely spoken to you, this relationship is doing my head in. Since then we have had no contact whatsoever cause I said in the message for her not to bother replying so I still don't know the results of her tests so I'm thinking I should go see the doc to get checked out despite me not showing any symptoms. Basically I want peoples opinion on my decision. Do you think it was the right one or did I pull the trigger a bit hastily? There are more details that I can't really be bothered putting in cause I'll be here all day.

[Cerby]

Relationship require patience, I'm in a similar situation to you, my gf is "too tired" from work many nights to see me, even though she is less than a 10 minute drive away. I'm working through it to ensure that I'm not being insecure and needy (which sometimes I might come across as). I haven't seen her in 4 days (again, LESS THAN 10 MINUTE DRIVE AWAY) because she is "sick" or "tired". That said, instead of hastily dumping her, I just stay busy, let her do her thing, and when we do see each other, we have a lot of fun.

The question you have to ask yourself is "Would I have even been happy with the way it was?" And if you can't answer yourself an honest yes, then you made the right decision. She might have come around to getting used to working full time and returning to normal, but she might not have. View it as getting out early. Who knows, I might follow your lead if things are the same for me.

[jeesh]

that was the biggest thing that got me as well i just google mapped how far exactly my ex lives away and it is 3.3km or 6 minutes. she may have got back to normal but to not even make the effort to send me a message of her results seems pretty selfish. no matter how tired you are to send someone a quick message takes f all effort.

[Cerby]

Some people are just like that, they're independent and don't realize that they're being closed off. It sometimes pisses me off when mine calls to say "goodnight" and doesn't ask how things are going, occasionally I had a big thing during my day I want to talk about and she is too disinterested and just wants to get off the phone.

I feel your pain, I'm going to stick it out a bit longer as we're not going on 8 days, but we also don't talk online at all, so seeing each other is a requirement for communication.

As for you, do you regret your decision, or does it make sense for you now?

[devonbrown]

Frankly, you have no idea why she didn't contact you and you decided to break up with her without finding out. Go get tested yourself and leave her alone. I doubt she would want to be with you again anyway after breaking up with her over facebook when you knew she was dealing with something pretty serious. Way to be.

[ShellyZ]

You jumped the gun. First of all, you broke up with her on Facebook. Don't you think you could have tried calling her at least? Second of all, maybe she didn't contact you because she didn't have the test results back yet. Doctors offices aren't always punctual about these things; sometimes they promise results the next day but don't get them until 3 days later. But rather than talk to her directly to find out what was going on, you jumped to conclusions and broke up with her without even speaking to her.

Did it never occur to you that you're not the only one affected by these test results? Have you even thought about her feelings? What if she did find out that she has an STD, and was crying in her room while she tried to figure out how to tell you? Maybe she was distraught and terrified, and needed a few minutes to calm down before she talked to you. Meanwhile, you can only think about yourself, and how she owes you a response RIGHT THIS MINUTE. You couldn't even pretend to be concerned about her?

Hey, here's an idea. Maybe you should use a condom next time. Of course sex without a condom is risky for her too, but I don't expect you to care about that. And here's another idea. How about you try talking to the poor girl before you break up with her over something stupid. Especially since you needed information from her and now you have no way of getting it except to go to the doctor yourself.

[DarkHelmet82]

why do people do this shi+... you play with peoples emotions and then go "well i think i made a mistake." Its unfair and selfish!

[DarkHelmet82]

people like you make me sick.. you should seriously re-evaluate the way you treat people, otherwise you will be lonely for the rest of your life.. I hope this girl tells you to go F-CK yourself

[Capricorn2112]

Definitely a hasty decision on your part.
Although if you weren't happy, you should just accept that what's done is done and move on.
Your breaking up with her because she didn't get this information to you on YOUR watch is plain selfish. Instead of finding out if she might be upset and in need of some comfort, you just hurt her more.
She's better off with someone who cares about HER, not just themself. It's understandable that you were upset that you were not seeing enough of her, but that's a totally seperate issue you could have worked out with her. If you wanted to see more of her, you shouldn't of broke up with her, you should have told her that.
I personally think her being tired excuse is crap. We all work, some more, some less, and yet most of us manage to spend time with the person we care about most. I believe if she WANTED to see you then she would've. So honestly, don't sweat it. Maybe you were hasty in your decision, but it may have just been for the best anyway. Plus, where did the STD come from in the first place? If not from you, then from someone else.

[smackie9]

You have no balls....you were drunk first and then proceeded to dump her via Facbook.......loser.