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Thread: How to keep up the act of being a player?

  1. #1
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    How to keep up the act of being a player?

    I find this interesting and I'm sure many of you can relate to it. Forgive my long posts, I can't write any other way.

    Despite what many women may claim in this thread, most girls LOVE the idea of their man being a total stud. It makes sense - if he can have any girl he wants then she must be special to have been chosen. The reality may be that she was the first person he's spoken to for many months, but she wouldn't want to feel that he'll take anything.

    Also she may want to "change" him and make him stop seeing other girls, to be with her - in that case if he ever gives up the act and just chills then she'll probably get rid of him (there being no further challenge), so he needs to keep up the studly facade. And don't forget that it gives them drama and BS to talk about with their friends, thus keeping you in their minds.

    Context:
    I am 24 years old and by most definitions, a total loser - I feel like a small child inside, I'm very shy and withdrawn, I hate bothering people with my presence, and so on. However - I have quite a good, handsome face and a decent physique. I look like I should be very confident and very successful with women, and numerous times people have commented to me that that must be the case. My shyness is misinterpreted as some expression that I think myself too good for anyone.
    Any girl I meet brings it up quite quickly, and tells me - not asks - tells me that I've definitely got other girls on the go.
    I was a virgin until age 20, then my next girl came 30 months later, next was 6 months, 12 months, 3 months and today is +6 months from that.
    All but one of them followed the pattern described, and all ditched me when it became apparent that they were they only girl I was seeing, that I was not an influential, successful badass. You'd expect that - they came to me under a completely false assumption, so would of course lose interest when they found the opposite was true.

    I've just met a girl, it happens 0-2 times per year generally. Like every girl who finds me interesting, she assumes and states that I am a real player and must have a lot of other girls around, like several each week. She seems to be very excited by this idea, not at all put off by it. I mean, like we were kissing and she'd ask about it and get really turned on. I've been ambiguously playing it up so far but it's very tiring. I'm sure many of you can relate to this.

    I give it a couple of weeks and maybe 2-3 meetings max, before she drops from contact. I intend to stay aware and observant to see how it goes down and learn something from it.

    How do y'all keep the wool over a girl's eyes for as long as possible? Some basic strategies, I think, would be the usual things such as delaying replies to her, being vague when describing what you've been doing with your time, asking to see her only infrequently, and referencing other girls mysteriously.

    I'm no pro at this, though - how can I best achieve this while also being able to enjoy her company? Every instance of me seeing her, every hour we're hanging out, is another nail in the coffin as she gradually gets the picture that I'm not who she thinks I am.


    bye
    Last edited by eo_ih; 30-05-11 at 07:24 PM.

  2. #2
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    0mg y not just find a gurl who leiks u for who u really are LOL?

  3. #3
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    You seem to be attracting the wrong women. You should be able to act yourself when you meet someone. If those girls want a 'player' probably means they have low self-esteem and are used to being screwed over. Try dating other types of women and you might find the problem solves itself.
    Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by pisces25 View Post
    You seem to be attracting the wrong women.
    Indeed. It's disappointing to both her and I, but I don't think I can find any other sorts.

    Quote Originally Posted by pisces25 View Post
    You should be able to act yourself when you meet someone.
    Well, no one has a fixed personality - we all behave differently around different people, and in different situations. However, behaving in certain manners takes more effort than others, so I know what you mean. However, the easiest way for me to act, my ground-state personality, is thoroughly unappealing to anyone - so I have to make some kind of effort.

    Quote Originally Posted by pisces25 View Post
    If those girls want a 'player' probably means they have low self-esteem
    I don't see why that would be the case - usually they seem extremely confident, intimidating in fact.

    Quote Originally Posted by pisces25 View Post
    and are used to being screwed over.
    Certainly that, yes. I also wonder if sometimes them telling me I'm totally doing other girls is their way of clarifying that they themselves are likely to be seeing other people.

    Quote Originally Posted by pisces25 View Post
    Try dating other types of women and you might find the problem solves itself.
    Me looking the way I do probably scares off more reserved, peaceful girls. Also when I've tried to approach other sorts it never goes well, I suppose they must think it's weird - why would I, an attractive guy who obviously could have any girl in the room, go and talk to someone below me, someone I'm supposedly too good for? I'm seen as a predator trying to pick of easy prey.
    I experience the same reaction when a very high-value woman shows an interest in me - I'm suspicious and doubting of it.

  5. #5
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    Why be a player when you can just be yourself?
    -... --- --- -... .. . ...

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxmax View Post
    Why be a player when you can just be yourself?
    What does that even mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by eo_ih View Post
    What does that even mean?
    Seeing as this post is about you, that would be for you to answer, not me, or anyone else ...
    -... --- --- -... .. . ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by maxmax View Post
    Seeing as this post is about you, that would be for you to answer, not me, or anyone else ...
    I think it's for you to answer, actually - to explain what you meant by it.

    I don't understand the concept of "just being yourself". It doesn't make sense, and no one ever seems willing to explain it. It's just a meaningless phrase to throw into certain conversations, I suppose. It seems to imply that there is some state, some set of behaviours that is "being yourself", and others that are "not being yourself". Quite how we determine which is which, and why, I have no idea.

  9. #9
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    Every girl/woman is different. You are generalizing here. Could be that you keep going for a certain "type" and attracting the wrong qualities because you are resisting them to begin with. Keep asking yourself what you're looking for i.e, love, or something casual. Dont be afraid to talk to anyone who is supposively "beneath you" because you think you're intimidating.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by eo_ih View Post
    I think it's for you to answer, actually - to explain what you meant by it.

    I don't understand the concept of "just being yourself". It doesn't make sense, and no one ever seems willing to explain it. It's just a meaningless phrase to throw into certain conversations, I suppose. It seems to imply that there is some state, some set of behaviours that is "being yourself", and others that are "not being yourself". Quite how we determine which is which, and why, I have no idea.
    Well, let me put it this way. I know who I am. I know which qualities, behaviours and attitudes are typical of me.

    You have come to the forum to ask advice on how to be a 'player'. In fact, you want to learn how to 'pull the wool' over girls' eyes so that they don't lose interest in you.

    From that, I gather that actually you don't think being yourself is a good thing, certainly not when it comes to the ladies.

    There's is nothing wrong at looking to improve yourself to become more appealing to the other sex, but I'd be hard pushed to believe that becoming a 'player' is the best way to go about it.

    Why would you even want a girl to think you're a player? Surely you'd rather have someone take an interst in you based on other qualities, and be able to trust you?
    -... --- --- -... .. . ...

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxmax View Post
    Why be a player when you can just be yourself?
    It means you are actively going out of your way to be a player when it isn't your default personality. You appear to not like yourself very much and are acting totally different to compensate for this. I can assure you very few girls get turned on by their guy being a player and if they do it says more about them than you.

    Your post has completely confused me. You want girls to hang around and you think by achieving this you have to act like a player and abide by the whole 'treat em mean keep em keen' thing? You are very deluded if that is what you think.

    If you don't know what 'being yourself is' then I would hazard a guess it is because you actually don't really know who you are and as a result you act like a chameleon to blend into your surroundings. Not to sound harsh but no wonder you have trouble keeping a girl. She probably picks up from your vibes that you are not who you say you are. Take the time to find out who you are, like who you are and you will attract the right women.
    Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxmax View Post
    Well, let me put it this way. I know who I am. I know which qualities, behaviours and attitudes are typical of me.
    Do you think that you behave differently in different situations, with different people?

    You have come to the forum to ask advice on how to be a 'player'. In fact, you want to learn how to 'pull the wool' over girls' eyes so that they don't lose interest in you.
    How to APPEAR like I am a "player", yes.

    From that, I gather that actually you don't think being yourself is a good thing, certainly not when it comes to the ladies.
    Well I don't understand the concept of being oneself so I can't respond to that.

    There's is nothing wrong at looking to improve yourself to become more appealing to the other sex, but I'd be hard pushed to believe that becoming a 'player' is the best way to go about it.
    I used to think being nice, or interesting, or kind, was the way to go - but I now firmly believe that being a total dick is the way forward. It's what they want, it's what pleases them, and I want to do my best to provide it.

    Why would you even want a girl to think you're a player?
    They like it.

    Surely you'd rather have someone take an interst in you based on other qualities, and be able to trust you?
    I don't really mind.

  13. #13
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    You met the wrong girl, I would love decent guys not ass-holes.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cinnabella View Post
    You met the wrong girl, I would love decent guys not ass-holes.
    y'all say that, but what actually attracts you is probably quite different.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by eo_ih View Post
    y'all say that, but what actually attracts you is probably quite different.
    NO WAY, if you don't trust why do you ask? Only high school girls want assholes. Lol.

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