Ex girlfriend sleeps over but doesn't have feelings. Let's hear what you have to say!

[thatdudefromca]

I went out with a girl for about a year and a half, she really messed up so I ended it and we completely stopped talking. About two years later, she started contacting me and we started talking, strictly as friends. A few weeks ago, we met up and hung out and had a good time. It became really late and she couldn't drive home because she didn't want to wake up anyone in her house. It almost seemed like she wanted to stay at my place, since she would always sleep over when we used to go out, so I invited her to stay at my place. First night, we laid on my bed not even touching each other. Second night, I held her, and she seemed OK with it. Third night she invited herself. We spooned almost like we did when we used to go out, with me giving her kisses on her forehead from time to time.

Today she asks why I give her kisses and told her my feelings for her are coming back. She tells me she is not looking for anyone or anything at the moment.


That really confused me. How could she be so OK with spending the night on my bed while we hold each other, and not have any feelings?

[ShellyZ]

God knows what she's thinking but she's jerking you around. Don't let her sleep over anymore if she's not looking for anything.

[steviej]

Maybe she just likes the comfort and familiarity of being there, its safe/convenient, she likes having someone there.

I don't think will end well at all if you allow it to continue.

[Saya]

She should of stopped you when you held her, but she didn't so you got mixed signal from her....I don't know what's wrong with her... maybe you two can talk about this and ask her why she let you do all the things and not stop you? But I agree with ShellyZ, don't let her sleep over anymore if she's not looking for anything.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

End contact with her again. If she asks why tell her you're not going to be friends with her, you want more or nothing. Then tell her directly not to contact you unless she wants more than friendship, end conversation.

[Horseyguy]

make her sleep on the couch

[Boisdevie]

Make her sleep on the floor

[thatdudefromca]

Well I'll make sure we don't do the whole "girlfriend boyfriend" routine like we have been doing. I do enjoy talking to her so I will continue to do so, but won't make her a huge priority like I have been. How does that sound?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Sounds like you're a whipped bitch.

You wouldn't be on here trying to figure out her feelings if you didn't have some of your own. Cut her loose, this situation is not going to end the way you want, especially if you're so nice to her. Be mean to her, not crazy mean, but treat her like she doesn't matter. Blow her off next time she wants to hang out.