need answers fast.....to lunch or not to lunch

[not me]

weve been going out for a while...... enjoying intimacy, but last night was jacked up. went to a movie.... she puts my hand on her boobs, i get worked up and say lets go. we drive to a pkg lot, im gonna give her oral in the truck. she says she just needs to be home by 930. thats 45 mins so no prob.
i do her good, takes a while but she gets off nice and loud. then she says "wanna help me have another?" so i use my fingers while she tinkers.... she gets off again. all is well, though i am conscious of the time. its now 935....she told me twice about the need to get home. i smile and reach for the keys....hoping she tells me not to go yet. she doesnt, so i assume im not getting any. f*ck. im a little frustrated. i drive home and when im almost there ii say, damn im frustrated now. i shoulda just jumped on you. (which i really shoulda done)
anyway...she feels bad, but we go to her house. as we part i say "well plan on me doing you at lunch tomorrow" we chuckle.

this morning, i stop by her place and she looks totally sad. i hug her and want to know whats up, she says she feels like an end to a means, and if i wasnt screwing her then it would be someone else...


what the hell? we use all the time for her.... doesnt offer to do me..... and im the assh@le......

i dont get it.

if i go to an ice cream store, buy you an ice cream, and dont have money for my own....does that make me selfish?


where am i going wrong..... anyway. i feel a bit awkward about lunch...if i go am i proving her right? or should i say im busy?

and hurry. its almost time

[DarkHelmet82]

is this a real post?

[not me]

yes its a real post.... why?

[DarkHelmet82]

seems like you are putting too much pressure on her to have sex... you WILL push her away if you keep doing this. you need to do other things with her besides banging her.. she probably feels that is all you care about.

[RdHrshyKss]

i would say meet up with her for lunch, but don't go into it expecting that something happens. use the time to talk things out and reassure her that you aren't with her just for the action. if you are honest, sincere and respectful of her feelings, she just might want to do nasty things to you anyway

[not me]

we go to the gym together, we go to dinner every friday. maybe im off, but i just assumed things should be a little mutual.... i sure wouldnt let her take care of me without making sure she was happy

[not me]

@ rdhrshykiss......

good call. i honestly didnt know if i should even go. but that seems reasonable

[RdHrshyKss]

just understand that girls and guys think about intimacy differently. guys tend to focus a lot on the actual physical feelings of sex, while girls focus a lot on the emotions. you wanting to get a piece of the action is completely normal, i think anyone (male or female) would think that way. but it sounds like she might be overanalyzing a bit (as a lot of women do) and thinks that you feel differently about her than she does you. no girl wants to feel like she's being used for sex.

as long as you try to be understanding and sympathetic to how she feels, and spend time communicating a bit more rather than getting down to the dirty right away...you guys should be able to come to some kind of middle ground.

[not me]

the part i feel weird about is that she feels obligated now. so im probably getting lucky at lunchtime. just cant help thinking theres a better way to handle it. feels awkward

[RdHrshyKss]

well then, for lunch go somewhere public where she won't feel like she has to do something. talk a bit, tell her you are a bit concerned that she feels pressured and try to assure her that that isn't the case. i think talking it out will help alleviate a lot of the stress/pressure she might be feeling. i'm sure she enjoys doing stuff with you...she just needs to know that that isn't all you are thinking about.

[not me]

we are both in our 40's....just kinda thought she would already know the average guy would be hoping for some as he drags her out of the theater.

[RdHrshyKss]

your choice of words worries me...

"average guy"
"hoping for some"
"drags her out of the theater"

are you even really interested in her as a person? do you enjoy spending time with her when you AREN'T doing something sexual? or are you pretty much thinking about the next time you are going to "get some" most of the time?

[not me]

worry not...its just the choice of words. i am totally in love with her. we do all kinds o stuff together. cant get enough of her. and im totally content wrapped up in her arms watching a movie. its not like its all i think about....but when i left the theater it sure was!

[RdHrshyKss]

haha, ok. i'm glad you clarified. if i was her, and you told me this:

i am totally in love with her. we do all kinds o stuff together. cant get enough of her. and im totally content wrapped up in her arms watching a movie. its not like its all i think about....but when i left the theater it sure was!

i would be extremely flattered and i would be more at ease about the sex thing. if you feel that way for someone, it's only natural to want to show it physically!

[not me]

wow... i was sooo far off.
did lunch...turns out she was upset at me because we walked out of the movie. she just wanted to play, in the movie, i thought she wanted more, outside
man...is communication the key or what.