3 month relationship - then break up after vacation

[Wauwau]

Hey Guys

So i met this girl at a party back in January. we connected really well, made out and two days later we had a date. On the date we didnt kiss nor hug nor anything. But there was a certain chemistry going on and both of us knew it drove us nuts. It was already late and I “accidently” missed my last train home. So she invited me to stay at her place for the night. we had to work the next day and despite of that, she asked me to watch a movie ....so then we had sex.

From that point on, we went on some dates together. we really had a great vibe going on. i didnt feel ready for a relationship though. But after like a month, she asked me if i would join her to spend a week with her on vacation. I thought, why not, i really liked her, potentially i could love her. So I agreed.

So all of her signs for starting a relationship were green. She was fantastic! I really could tell, this woman has fallen deeply in love with me. And the more I spent time with her, the more I wanted to be in a relationship with her. She introduced me to her family and friends, told me very intimate stuff etc etc. For my part, I did the same. So after one month of dating, we made it official that we were together.

So we knew each other for roughly two months and suddenly things changed a bit. It was beginning of April and our vacation, which we already booked was in beginning of May.

I must say, that we both had busy lives so we didn’t really see ourselves more than twice a week….which wasn’t a bad thing for the both of us. But of course, the longer I was with her, the more I wanted to spend time with her.

Now during the month of april, she didn’t really call me too often or write me any texts (we didnt really do this kind of stuff a lot, and she even appreciated it from the very beginning). She didn’t “flirt” with me anymore or gave me the same signs of interest in what was going on in my life like before. The sex was actually great, but it drew back drastically (once she was too tired, then she had her “girly days”, the other time she just wasn’t in the mood).

Then our vacation came. We had planned a trip to Rome and Amsterdam (5 days) The Trip went actually really well. It was really romantic and everything. But I felt that something had gone seriously wrong. I had more of a feeling I was traveling with a good friend than with my girl and I knew this all came from her side. Man, we only had sex twice!!! There was some slight tension in the air between us, so I didn’t bother to ask, just to not break up during our vacation.

After our vacation, all what I was thinking was, why didn’t she want to sleep with me anymore when everything was great?

Some days past until she called me. “We need to talk”…….so then she broke up with me. Reason was that, she just didn’t love me and without that feeling of love, she had no interest in staying in this relationship. She was hoping for the love to come in our vacation, but it didn’t. She said, she wish it could be just like in the beginning when we weren’t commited to ourselves.

A week later (a week without any contact), we met for a drink. I didn’t give her any signs, how heartbroken I was. We didn’t talk about our relationship at first and we had lots of fun catching up. Then later on we did talk but not for too long. She said, that she would love to be best friends, as she doesn’t want to lose me. I said, well, we could meet again and see what happens, but I don’t see a friendship coming (because I will always want her). She said, yes, that could or could not happen. We should keep contact. After two hours (our “talk” only lasted like 10-15 min), I told her I had to leave, cuz I had something going on later with my friends. That surprised her, cuz she thought I would hang out with her for the rest of the evening. She said, she will invite me later that week to a party, so she will call. Also, she will upload some fotos to facebook from our vacation (that will make her think about us…I hope)

That was a week ago now and I haven’t heard from her since. I feel like someone ripped my heart out. I didn’t believe I was in love until she broke up with me. I drove me crazy the past two weeks, so I scanned the internet for advice. I got my hands on a copy of this book “Ex2 System – Matt Houston”. At first, I thought it was a rip-off. But I thought it could help so I read it. Lots of things suddenly made sense. I figured the more and more I wanted from my girlfriend the more I pushed her away from me, without ever noticing. I made myself unattractive to her. I wasn’t “a man” anymore, I slowly turned into a “friend”. I always let her lead our relationship, do the decisions, didn’t show my own initiative. I more and more acted like a loyal dog.

So, now what am I doing? Luckily, I intuitively did the exact stuff as in the book (I read it last weekend) During the meet up, I didn’t beg her to come back, accepted her reasons (which confused her), acted cheerful and upbeat. I didn’t initiate contact and so I am just waiting and trying to get over the break up by building up self esteem/confidence, going out, keeping myself busy.

I know she will contact me some day. I guess, that she will want to see me again, but as friends and I fear that she expects that im over her and ready for a friendship…. Of course I will be over her by then, but I will not want to have a friendship. I will be wanting her again!

What do you think? Do you think, she will maybe change her mind when we will see us again? Or do you thing all is lost?

She told me that, she really saw someone special in me. I was actually perfect. With me, she has had everything she ever wanted in a relationship. But she just didnt fall in love with me…..do you think, she said that just to not make me feel bad or hurt my self esteem?

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah people swear by that book..Thing is does it REALLY work? what i mean is everyone has different reasons for ending a relationship.. if it worked wouldnt she be contacting you now?

Thats how I was with my ex... but i dont think it drove her away, as her reasons were not because of a lack of spark but because of a psycho ex boyfriend.

I believe that people should lay it all out on the line... acting aloof and like you dont care.. shows her just that.. that you dont care, and maybe it will make her more attracted to you and maybe you will get back with her.. but how long will that last? I believe you should just tell it like it is and if its meant to be great, if not well try to move on.

How many people actually get back their exes and KEEP them after doing this stuff?

[fighter]

yeah people swear by that book..Thing is does it REALLY work? what i mean is everyone has different reasons for ending a relationship.. if it worked wouldnt she be contacting you now?

Thats how I was with my ex... but i dont think it drove her away, as her reasons were not because of a lack of spark but because of a psycho ex boyfriend.

I believe that people should lay it all out on the line... acting aloof and like you dont care.. shows her just that.. that you dont care, and maybe it will make her more attracted to you and maybe you will get back with her.. but how long will that last? I believe you should just tell it like it is and if its meant to be great, if not well try to move on.

How many people actually get back their exes and KEEP them after doing this stuff?

My answer= 0

[DarkHelmet82]

lol.. all im saying is people arent robots and what may work for one person may not work for another....

[Wauwau]

hey guys

So its been like 3 weeks since i had that short "meet-up after break-up" with my ex. Before we separted our ways, she told me she would call or text me about a party and that she would upload some fotos from our vacation on facebook.

Of course she hasnt texted or called me. And I havent done anything too.

Im really curious about whats going on in her life and i really miss her. I now i shouldnt and schould get my mind of of her, but i simply just cant. I had a date since then. nothing happend there. we were just out for a couple of drinks, but even in front of an attractive woman i couldnt get my mind off of my ex.

Do you think it's ok to text her now and ask what shes up to and how everything is? maybe get some drinks together? or shall i wait some more? because this no contact thing is driving me more crazy than i thought. its not really helping. And the longer this goes on, the more i must think about her. Its not helping me forgetting her. Its just increasing my hopes......

[Wakeup]

hey guys

So its been like 3 weeks since i had that short "meet-up after break-up" with my ex. Before we separted our ways, she told me she would call or text me about a party and that she would upload some fotos from our vacation on facebook. Of course she hasnt texted or called me. And I havent done anything too.

She's not doing you any favors by stringing you along. She's an ex because she doesn't want to be a current.

Im really curious about whats going on in her life and i really miss her. I now i shouldnt and schould get my mind of of her, but i simply just cant.

Thats because you make zero effort to get her off your mind and you are wrought with hope and expectation again. Why not change that up and do the mental exercises to switch up thinking about her to something else instead of her.

I had a date since then. nothing happend there. we were just out for a couple of drinks, but even in front of an attractive woman i couldnt get my mind off of my ex.

Not a good Idea to start dating again until you at least get to the point of being able to not think of one girl while you're sitting in front of another. You cannot see the beauty (and by beauty I don't mean just looks) of a woman when you're obsessed with another. You will miss great opportunities if you keep going out while in mourning.

Do you think it's ok to text her now and ask what shes up to and how everything is? maybe get some drinks together?

What is it about the word "ex" that you're not understanding? When you had your meet did she promise you that you'd go on dates again? If she didn't then why are you anticipating that? If she did then she's stringing you along if she hasn't talked to you for three weeks

or shall i wait some more?

quit waiting and get on with your life. Close this chapter for good. You'll heal faster if you accept that she doesn't value you the way you value her.

because this no contact thing is driving me more crazy than i thought.

What "no contact"i No contact means no "short meet ups" or anything else where you're in contact. You had one contact and now she's drove you right back to square one of your pain and journey to healing. Why torture yourself have the balls to ride out your pain for a bit and then pick yourself up and begin the first day of the rest of your life without the crappy ex in it.

No contact is not helping you because you're not using it with the right psychology. You're using it in hopes of manipulating her back to you, hoping she'll miss you and call. When someone is done, they CANNOT be manipulated back into having feelings. Try using it to forget her and you'll get over expectations and disappointments.

And the longer this goes on, the more i must think about her. Its not helping me forgetting her. Its just increasing my hopes......

Why TF would someone not caring enough about you to fking call you, increase your hopes? Accept that she's not caring enough about you to speak with you, accept that she broke up with you and she's not coming back and you will begin to get over her and get to the stage of indifference to her.

Time to move on so that you can move up to bigger and better and brighter.

P.s. Stop wasting your money on books written by assholes who take advantage of the insecure and hurting and just want to con you out of your money with false hope and expectations built on sand. You can not manipulate a person back into loving and wanting to be with you when they've made up their mind.

[Wauwau]

@ Wake up:

Thanks a lot man. You really just helped me out here. I guess i really got into hoping she would/will come back. You're right, im just wasting my time. I must cut off all hopes for that bitch. It's hard but i must do it. There is no point in waiting for her. Its over so thats it.

Just to get this straight: we met because she owed me money and i wanted to see that face again just to analyse her body language. She was expecting a long meeting, but i kept it short. I "had" to leave early (and I really had something going on, so no bad excuse). So I left her there with her mouth dropped.

Oh and by the way......i didnt pay for such a book ;-) the internet is a wonderful place.