Would you be mad if your SO lied about his/her past?

[cheriex333]

Just wondering, would you hold your SO past against them if you asked them about it specifically and they lied about it (repeatedly)?
My bf said he never slept with hookers (specifically when he went abroad) and I found out some photos of hookers who he slept with on his laptop. I was disgusted/livid and made him go with me to the doctor to get checked out (we both came out clean). I know this is in his past and he said he lied bc he felt embarrassed. Other than this, he has lied one time about something in the past which he was ashamed of (he was dating a married woman). That lie also occured the same day I confronted him about the hooker photos....so it was 2 lies in one occasion.

Do you think I have the right to be upset? Or do you think that his past is his past, and I should just forgive those two lies? :-k

[Jenswaiting]

Are you mad about him lying to you or mad about his past? His past is past, there is nothing that can be done about it. The biggest issue is the lying. My suggestion would be to talk to him about why he felt he needed to lie to you.

[smackie9]

My issue wouldn't be about him not discussing his past, it would be the fact that those photos of these hookers that he slept with were still on his computer. Remember this hun, when he goes to view them he is revisiting those lovely memories of his hooker days (sick).....That right there is grounds for dumping.

If he was so ashamed of his past he would have deleted those photos long ago....oops he just lied to you again!

[Sonrisa]

1. how do you know those were hookers?
2. how do you know he slept with them?
3. if they were in fact hookers, more than likely he was wearing a condom, therefore he is more likely to catch a "bug" from you than them
4. hookers are people too, stop hating
5. the reason why they are still on his laptop is cuz they are prettier than you

[HeartIsAching]

Sonrisa nailed my questions PERFECTLY.

If they're dressed sluttily, they're not necessarily hookers.

Whether they're hookers or not, you have no evidence (unless he had pics of them ****ing him) that he had sex with them.

Even if he did... he probably did it because he was embarrassed or unsure of your reaction and wanted to not **** things up with you. Even if that's the case, you should lament (a little) the fact that he distrusted you on that point, and rejoice (a lot) the fact that he cared enough about your reaction to lie about it.

[JadenMia]

Ohh, his past is his past. Stop trying to bring it up and cause problems..
Whats done is done and there is no need for him to tell you anything about his past. If it is something to be ashamed of.. why would he tell you? He obviously likes/loves you as he is with you. And unless he is sleeping with hookers behind your back then it is none of your business.

Just ask him to delete the pictures off his laptop to keep it in the past. Then there is no more problems to deal with except your jealousy and judgemental self.
If you think differently about him now, then leave. If you want to stay with him then forget about this and put it behind you.

I have lied about my past before. Just because it is nothing that he would have ever found out or needed to know frankly. A little stupid of him to lie about it and then leave evidence of him doing it though.. lol Idiot.

[cheriex333]

1. how do you know those were hookers?
2. how do you know he slept with them?
3. if they were in fact hookers, more than likely he was wearing a condom, therefore he is more likely to catch a "bug" from you than them
4. hookers are people too, stop hating
5. the reason why they are still on his laptop is cuz they are prettier than you

Thanks to everyone who gave me genuine advice.

Sonrisa-
1. Bc the photos were titled hooker #1 -5. And bc he admitted it afterwards.
2. See above.
3. Yes
4. I'm not hating on THEM. The issue is he lied to me about it.
5. You are such a hateful beeyatch, get a life and stop going around fussing people who are here for support.

[Sonrisa]

Just wondering, would you hold your SO past against them if you asked them about it specifically and they lied about it (repeatedly)?

Dear Cherie,

are you saying that you have been asking him about sleeping with hookers PRIOR to finding those pictures on his laptop?
were they by any chance russian hookers?

[Saya]

Not many people would tell their current bf/gf their sexual past because it's not really a necessary thing and it's not important.
I've asked my bf about his past relationship etc, and he has told me and since he told me, I didn't mind telling him about mine, but he said that he doesn't want to know so I haven't told him.

He probably didn't lie to you, unless you asked your bf saying, "Have you slept with hookers etc"
I have male friends and I know some of them goes to hookers because they don't have a gf. I've asked them, if you ever goes into a relationship, are you going to tell your new gf that you've slept with hooker etc and they said it's not really important thing to say so they probably won't tell them. Also they are probably ashamed of been to hookers.

Everyone lies and Yes lying is really bad and it would damaged the relationship sometimes, but it depends on what kind of lie.

Strange thing is that, I don't understand why he would have those girls pictures on his computer.
He needs to delete them since they aren't appropriate.

I understand it is hard, but Past is past so if you love him for who he is then you can make this relationship stronger by not bringing up this to him again and let go his past.

[smackie9]

Ya the past is the past, but it's obvious you are not the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with, or he would have not kept any of those pictures proudly labeled hooker#1 etc. Those are trophies to him hun....sounds like a real nice guy.