Emotional Affair Definition

[JadeCat]

Thank you kindly in advance for reading this. I'm new here and I'll try to keep it short.

Over the past 2 years my marriage has been crumbling. His infidelity, abuse, addictions and emotional neglect have torn us to shreds. I've been holding on in hopes that he'd seek the help he keeps promising me he'll get. I understand, typical.tHe cycle continues. It should be a movie on Lifetime. Fast forward to the last 6 months. He has a great friend who has been a huge benefit to us. (helping us move from a foreclosed home, working on a car, whatever the case he's ready to pitch in and help)
Sure enough after being completey ignored by my husband I turned to his friend for someone to talk to. His friend was also noticing his erratic behavior. First it was suface level topics. Weather, politics and the like. We soon discovered that we had plenty more to talk about. Getting old, desires, wants and needs from our current relationships. A higher intellectual plane one could say. It may sound cliche, but I had never met anyone I found so interesting and talk so easily with. Then a not so funny thing happened. One night while the husband was working (another job he would eventually lose 2 months later) his friend performed the Heimlich Manuveur on one of our children. Upon finding out my husband lashed out in anger that he wasnt the hero in this situation, and I tumbled into love with his friend. As hard as I tried not to. I know it's wrong. But he's an amazing person. I never stepped out of line, just flirting, inconsequential text messages, funny emails. The time we would spend hanging out together was nothing to be ashamed of. If it was taped and played to all our friends and family we would be content knowing there was nothing to be ashamed of during our time hanging out together. Here's where I am struggling. I feel as though he feels the same way. He always makes an effort to come over or find out how we are doing. Now he communicates more so thru my husband because he too feels the suspicions that surround our friendship. Over and over I'm told by my husband I'm an emotional cheater. Am I? If indeed I am what do I do? Just recently as February there was another violent display of temper. So it's known I have no plans to run off with his friend, or anything of the like. Currently I'm at my sisters licking my wounds from yet another of his erratic episodes. I doubt I'll be going back to him. Here's the most saddest part. When I met my husband he was A LOT like this buddy of his. Stable, rational, trusting, honest, and kind.
Again I thank you all again who post here.

[elleda]

yes, that was emotional cheating. but you had no emotional support from your crazy husband.

quit cheating, leave him and do things with people who care about you legitimately.

[JadeCat]

yes, that was emotional cheating. but you had no emotional support from your crazy husband.

quit cheating, leave him and do things with people who care about you legitimately.

Thank you. I appreciate your response. I should not be down with this much crazy. I should be with those who truly have my best interests (and I theirs) at heart. I just needed to hear it was ok to do so.