Believe it or not, many marriages are basically sexless.
I have the EXACT same problem. Honestly, I don't really think it's a problem as much as it's normal. I get a girlfriend. Everythnig's cool for a while. If she's around too much, I feel less desire for sex. Often times, I'll have sex even when I really don't feel like it just because I think I'm supposed to in order to keep her happy.
So I break up, and start looking for more tail. I quickly start to feel lonely. Most women blow me off, I guess my "game" is bad, so I start longing for another girlfriend. The women who will sleep with me, usually, aren't worth keeping around. They've got major issues...too fat, too much of a slob, too flirtatious...whatever. So I finally find a girl a like, go exclusive with her. Everything is fine until she starts trying to be around me ALL the time. Once that happens, I start checking out of the "relationship". Once they get to the point of coming over for a date on Friday night and they're not leaving until Tuesday...that's when my desire starts to really fade.
It's been an endless cycle. I have finally decided to be the 6 to 9 month serial dater.
There is an excellent book on this very subject called "Evolution of Desire". A shrink in Austin wrote it.
Bottom line is, we humans can only desire that which is not easily obtainable. By the time a woman has moved in, she's easily obtainable. We desire that which we don't have. So all the other girls in society are "unobtainable" and that's why you desire them. The woman who loves you, who's living with you, is easily obtainable. So which girl is desirable? The one's that aren't easily obtained. They are the ones with all of your sexual desire.
I was beginning to think all men were this way but I'm wondering if you it's just you and me who are the weird ones???
So I broke up with her last night, and boy, was it hard!! I was on the verge of tears before we even started talking... The lump in my throat made it very difficult to explain why I was breaking up with her. We hugged, tears were shed and we said good bye. I had packed most of my things before she got home. I'm moving in with a friend for now...
She was devastated by my decision. As I was walking out the door, through tears she was asking me to please stay . It was so hard for me to turn around, walk outside and close the door. I could hear her cry all the way to my car... that was one of the hardest things I have done, but I know that this was the best thing to do.
I clearly have a problem, and I have decided to figure it out. However, I can't drag her along while I do so and keep her from meeting a person who will appreciate what I couldn't. Hopefully the specialist will be able to dig deep and see what's wrong with me... If I'm able to fix my problem, maybe I can try to get her back and love her how she deserves, but I understand that right now I'm not able to offer her that.
I want to sincerely thank everyone who gave me advice, it was most greatly appreciated!!
Regards.
i think u get your kicks off after the chase. once you get the girl and it settles down you cant handle it there for you dont feel for her and wanna find someone else. that alone is a problem.
Good luck Confused_guy. I was in your GF's position and it isn't easy. I hope it all works out for you and you go on to have a long, fulfilling relationship with someone you love.
Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!
Good luck and I hope for your sake you get it sorted.
I have a lot of respect for you for not cheating,