24 years old, never been on a date with a girl until now

[SigOne]

Hello. I'm healthy and fit, average looking with well-paying and stable 9-5 job.

But I've never been with a girl before. Never even kissed one. I'm just a shy, nice guy but with lots of guy friends.

Is this quite uncommon? Ask me anything

[Yet another guy]

That's pretty much a description of me. So there's at least two of us. It's the shyness. Girls absolutely hate that.

[MaidenMinx]

It's not that girls hate shyness as such, it's a case of not knowing what to do with it. If you are too shy you are not going to give off any signals of interest meaning that you won't get any back. You will also probably attract shy girls which means you have less chance of getting anywhere because a shy girl is less likely to make the first move than a shy guy.

When I was younger I wondered why I seemed to miss so many opportunities with the opposite sex. I have always been able to tell when someone is at the very least physically attracted to me so I knew I was missing opportunities. Then I happened to read up on Cancerians (I am one) and it said that a Cancerian will never make the first move much to their own detriment. As I have always felt astrology is there to point out your flaws so you can work on them (as well as pointing out your strengths so you can enjoy them) I decided to tackle this problem. I never let an opportunity slide again.

Shyness will get you know where.

[Yet another guy]

Yea, I suppose that not every girl hates shy guys but it is indeed the reason to why at least I've never had a girlfriend. You're probably right about not giving off signals. The best I can manage is some eye contact and smiling.
I feel terrified of approaching girls who don't show any sings of interest towards me. Since I don't approach them, they won't show any interest and I won't ever be able to approach them. The only way to get out of the cycle is to get rid of the shyness. I've managed to get over it a few times but every rejection makes it harder.
I wonder if SigOnes experience of shyness is similar.

[MaidenMinx]

it's a horrible thing to try and get past, especially if it's coupled with a social anxiety. It can be downright debilitating at times. May I suggest doing some research on body language? I really think the first step to getting over your shyness is being able to read people. Once you can tell that someone is into you it can be easier to pluck up the courage to do something about it. I also found working in customer service has helped me get over a fear of talking to people. When you get paid to be pleasant you realise that most people enjoy a conversation and when you feel like you can start a conversation whenever you want to, that can also help your confidence.

[SigOne]

Good to see more of us out there. Haha. I too have social anxiety. I find it awkward to ask someone how their day was because I KNOW I'll just get a generic response back like "i'm good" so I don't even bother.

[anormalguy]

yeah you'll be alright

[MaidenMinx]

Generic responses do suck, but then how are you? is a generic question. If you want an easy starting ground to get comfortable conversing with stranger, start with old people. They are generally starved of conversation and are happy to chat to anyone. If you're waiting to cross a road with an old person, comment on the level of traffic. Offer them assistance too. If you see an older person struggling to reach an item on a shelf in a super market, get it down for them. Not only are you practising random acts of kindness, which is lovely in and of itself, once you are well practiced at it, if you see a gorgeous woman needing help or a chat it will be second nature to approach her.

So there's my big tip for shy people, go out of your way to be nice to the elderly.

[CAM]

Compound Interest==The money you earn from saving your money before you start dating.

Enjoy the compounding interest and don't be in a rush.

[IndiReloaded]

Generic responses do suck, but then how are you? is a generic question. If you want an easy starting ground to get comfortable conversing with stranger, start with old people. They are generally starved of conversation and are happy to chat to anyone. If you're waiting to cross a road with an old person, comment on the level of traffic. Offer them assistance too. If you see an older person struggling to reach an item on a shelf in a super market, get it down for them. Not only are you practising random acts of kindness, which is lovely in and of itself, once you are well practiced at it, if you see a gorgeous woman needing help or a chat it will be second nature to approach her.

So there's my big tip for shy people, go out of your way to be nice to the elderly.

I like this advice very much!

[Jolicoeur]

I used to be very shy. I didn't dare make phone calls with strangers out of fear they would... pick up the phone and I'd have to talk to them.

The way I managed was with humor. Not the "a guy walks in a bar" - kind, but situational humor. When someone drops a pen, I say "Yeah, gravity sucks sometimes". Or when someone says "I'll do it tomorrow", I quote "Never delay till tomorrow what you can delay till the day after tomorrow".

Agreed, it's not great humor, but the situation makes it funny at least some of the time, and people start to feel sympathetic towards you. It gradually helps you build confidence. My shyness has completely disappeared, to the point that I think I am a bit intimidating sometimes (which is not good either).

[CAM]

[url=http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/kajagoogoo-too-shy/c27073e9c70de238870dc27073e9c70de238870d-646114509124?q=too+shy+song&FORM=VIRE3]kajagoogoo-too shy - Bing Videos[/url]

[CAM]

You get over shyness after awhile. At some point you actually look back and *miss* being shy and awkward.

[sookie6]

You need to come out of your shell even if it leads to sometimes rejection or disappointments...you are missing out on years of valuable experience on relationships..and experience is what makes you understand yourself and what type of person you are compatible with...

I wish you good luck...just do it.

[CAM]

You need to come out of your shell even if it leads to sometimes rejection or disappointments...you are missing out on years of valuable experience on relationships..and experience is what makes you understand yourself and what type of person you are compatible with...

I wish you good luck...just do it.

Totally agree. And regardless of the disappointments, the drive is to find a lasting mate....and to mate.