This Korean guy from my Japanese class 1 year ago

[jss]

Okay, this is sort of a long one, so here goes.

It was my first year at university, and among all my other HUGELY overpopulated science classes, I had this elective Japanese class with 30 or so people. I made friends off the bat, who I still stay in touch with but after a few classes, I couldn't help noticing this really intelligent and kinda cute Korean guy who sat at the back of the class with all his other Korean friends. They would be kinda secluded and often talked in Korean amongst each other, but I knew for a fact they all spoke English.

Me and another friend from the class got to work in a group with one of his classmates (who also happened to be his friend but didn't hang out with the "crew" at the back) and so I got to indirectly find out more about him. I decided I really liked him after a while, and often saw him giving me glances.

I got his email from the course's communication/forum website (stalkerish...I know ) and mustered up a lot of courage to add him on msn. In one of the following classes, he left his crew in the back, and came and sat right behind me, next to his other friend that worked with me in a group. That friend also teased me about him once, so I really thought my crush got the hint, and was showing some interest in me too.

One day on msn, he asked me if I would work in a group with him (apparently because I'm a "good worker," which I am ) but the worst thing was, I had already committed myself to work with another group! I often felt I should have lied and joined his group, but my work ethic wouldn't allow it.

Anywho, after that he felt distant. Same routine, him sitting in the back with his homies (looking all Korean mafia) paying attention in class and etc. But next thing u know, I see him with a girl! And no, I didn't jump to conclusions, I saw him with her a lot after that, and facebook confirmed they were going out (I wasnt his friend, but clearly he didn't want to keep some details hidden).

So for that reason, and some other ones which are too ling to mention, I deleted him from msn. I would miss him a lot, and often think about him. But I was stubborn, and I still am egoistic. However, second year comes along, and I just miss him too much.

So I mustered up tons of courage again, and added him back on msn. I knew he had broken up with his girlfriend quite a while ago ( in first year, that's when I started missing him) so I knew he was single. But after that, I just didn't know what to say to him.

And to this day, I don't know what to say to him. I just know that I'll never get over him or reach any closure until I tell him clearly how I feel. But how? And rejection...it makes my stomach turn. I really need some good advice here.

Oh, and for what it's worth, Im of Indian (the brown Indian) decent, and yes, I know Korean guys can often be quite traditional. But putting those facts aside, or even thoroughly incorporating the
, what do you guys think?

[MaidenMinx]

Say hi, how are you? He accepted you adding him on msn? Then say hello! It's a good start. Follow up with whats new? Maybe even add it's unfortunate that you and he have never had the opportunity to work together in class. Then start discovering if you have many mutual interests etc. I'd advise against jumping in and telling him how much you like him, find out more about him and see if the feelings hang around.

[Saya]

Maybe start chatting to him on MSN and start a friendship with him and get to know him better and he can get to know you as well.

[jss]

Thanks for the suggestions guys.

But doesn't it seem a little desperate if I try talking to him first? I've tried it a couple times before, the only time he ever initiated the convo with me was over a year ago when he asked to be in my group. If he really does have interests in me, shouldn't he be the first to initiate? After all, I have tried initiating before and the convo just seemed to die (and I got kinda shy and said I had to go prematurely...cause he wouldn't say anything! I was always asking the questions!).

[Saya]

I don't think it seem desperate if you start to talking to him.
But you are right, I think that if a guy likes a girl then usually guy will be the first to initiate. But then if he is really shy then he probably wouldn't say much or won't initiate too much.
Most Asian guys can be pretty shy...Also most guys aren't good with talking especially if they are shy.
But there is other thing why he doesn't say much is probably because you two doesn't know each other much so try harder to at least become friends with him and start hanging out with him.
Make him more interested with having a conversation with you.