Frustrating Love - Bound by a Promise.

[HeartIsAching]

"Maybe the horse will sing." Google it.

Absolutely.

In my case, the horse eventually sang.

[Sonrisa]

how old is she?

[Blueeyes79]

how old is she?

She is 33.

[Sonrisa]

there must be something about him that makes her want to stay. stability, financial security, comfort.

[Blueeyes79]

there must be something about him that makes her want to stay. stability, financial security, comfort.

Financial security: she makes more than he does...
Comfort: lack thereof has been a big problem the past 3 years
Stability: maybe, only because he absolutely refuses to go anywhere - he has a lot of anger and fear over those he's lost to death and other reasons, because
of that he harbors a lot of anger and resentment and clearly a gigantic amount of fear losing someone else... which both she and I recognize

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Your situation is not special. You are making excuses for her. If she really wanted you that badly, then she would leave. You are a nice escape for her, that is it. If you ever want to be more, you'll have to let her know that you won't remain in contact with her, as long as she's with her husband.

[Blueeyes79]

Just last night she was starting to realize that he definitely not whom he thought he was, even threatening violence when it came to me 'interfering'.

It scares her. He becoming a overly angry and vindictive man. Someone that she does not recognize. We both are starting to believe that the real reason he's even trying to patch things up including his hostility towards me including his neglect for the past three years has been a result of resentment he's been carrying with him.

[Blueeyes79]

Your situation is not special. You are making excuses for her. If she really wanted you that badly, then she would leave. You are a nice escape for her, that is it. If you ever want to be more, you'll have to let her know that you won't remain in contact with her, as long as she's with her husband.

I'm not making excuses for anyone. I only convey what I hear. These aren't just some half baked guesses or theories based on observation. This is what I hear.

I'd just to point out too that while they might seem like excuses to you, and that maybe when confronted with the same situation you'd handle it differently... those same
excuses do impact others in ways that might seem shallow to you. Its a matter of perspective. For now I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and just listen to
what she has to say and take it at face value.

[Sonrisa]

Financial security: she makes more than he does...
Comfort: lack thereof has been a big problem the past 3 years
Stability: maybe, only because he absolutely refuses to go anywhere - he has a lot of anger and fear over those he's lost to death and other reasons, because
of that he harbors a lot of anger and resentment and clearly a gigantic amount of fear losing someone else... which both she and I recognize

are you making more than him?

[VincenzoG91]

Just last night she was starting to realize that he definitely not whom he thought he was, even threatening violence when it came to me 'interfering'.

It scares her. He becoming a overly angry and vindictive man. Someone that she does not recognize. We both are starting to believe that the real reason he's even trying to patch things up including his hostility towards me including his neglect for the past three years has been a result of resentment he's been carrying with him.

Wow, that's crazy that he would actually become resentful about her cheating on him. I'm sure that if somebody cheated on you, you would just lie back and relax about it.

[Blueeyes79]

are you making more than him?

Just guessing, but some months yes, some months no.

He sells cars.

I fix computers and peripherals.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I've been in your exact shoes before, and the truth is, if she really wanted to be with you that badly, she would be with you now. She's too weak to leave, and until she does, you need to cut her off.


Or you can continue being the pathetic, pussy whipped dreamer that figuratively stands before us. Have you even gotten the pussy?

[Blueeyes79]

Wow, that's crazy that he would actually become resentful about her cheating on him. I'm sure that if somebody cheated on you, you would just lie back and relax about it.

Um, yeah, I think you missed that in my previous post where he admitted to treating her poorly and neglecting her for the past 3 years. Also admitted that he never thought she'd go anywhere because of her beliefs which to me sounds like... "i don't have to try because I know you wont go anywhere"

And now that he's actually scared that she'll leave he's starting to give a shit, though for the wrong reasons.

[Sonrisa]

Um, yeah, I think you missed that in my previous post where he admitted to treating her poorly and neglecting her for the past 3 years. Also admitted that he never thought he'd go anywhere because of her beliefs which to me sounds like... "i don't have to try because I know you wont go anywhere"

And now that he's actually scared that she'll leave he's starting to give a shit, though for the wrong reasons.

maybe it was meant to be, you could be the push that he needed to make himself a better man.

[Blueeyes79]

I've been in your exact shoes before, and the truth is, if she really wanted to be with you that badly, she would. She's too weak to leave, and until she does, you need to cut her off.


Or you can continue being the pathetic, pussy whipped dreamer that figuratively stands before us. Have you even gotten the pussy?

Did you just really take this conversation to this level? Really? No I'm not a virgin. And I've done my damnedest not to try and take advantage of the state she's in. Do we want to? Yes. Would that be taking advantage of how crazy her emotions are right now? Yes. Would that lead to her feeling even more guilty about all this? A third yes.

Take the macho 'tude elsewhere. I have no intention of exploiting someone's weakness.