What does this guy want from me?

[gril0044]

I’ve heard a lot of things about this guy (we’ll say J) and from what I hear he sounds like a player who breaks young girls hearts (young like 21) when he’s 30.

we met through mutual friends and he would always try to catch my eye but he’s never complimented me on anything or said anything flirty or called me cute. the first time we hung out he got me another beer when he saw i was running out.. random thing I remembered..

he kept pressing for us to hang out, such as go on a bike ride and kept talking about having a bonfire, though not asking directly to me until he absolutely had to because i wasn’t going to volunteer myself even though i like him, because I know he is a player.

but finally we had a bonfire a few days ago just us, talking from midnight until dawn and just having a good time. he never made a move on me.. he just talked about himself a lot.. a bad sign.. I thought wow this guy just wants to be friends, because he’s not asking me about myself and hes not making a move. finally, seemingly out of nowhere he asked if he could kiss me. I said, I thought we were friends? and we decided to “friend kiss”. and he said ‘that was lovely.’ and when we saw each other the next day everything was the same not weird, though I thought I had kind of clearly said i only wanted to be friends.. I don’t know.. our mutual friend told me that J had said we’d had a bonfire together.. I thought, good J talks about me to his friend, or at least isn’t hiding that we hung out?

he called me a few days later (today) at noon, asking if I wanted to hang out today or tonight. I said sure but we ended up not because he was tired and I was sick so we may hang out tomorrow or the next day.

but for being a player whose m.o. is breaking girls hearts (or something), he doesn’t seem to act like a player.. I’ll never be too careful with him though.. I do not want to get hurt.

and he is also very good looking, more than any guy I have kissed or dated, and I have to wonder why he would be interested in me, I guess. He really doesn’t seem to be interested because he doesn’t ask about my interests, although he remembers some random things about me, but he seems to want to hang out.. so I have no idea what hes thinking.

maybe he’s not used to hearing no or semi-no for an answer and he needs the ego boost of getting the playing-hard-to-get girl.. ? even though im not playing..

[Archie]

Maybe he`s not a player after all? Where did you hear this from, just rumors or from someone who was with him before?
Very possibly he`s looking for a friend - you and nothing more?
If he`s not showing interest in you, as a person, it`s also possible that he just want`s to use you. So from this point, which seems most likely, i`d suggest keep your distance from him or confront him with the question, "what does he want from you".

[Dr.Phillius]

Just my opinion on this but... as a male i can tell you that in order for a guy to turn you into a good friend with benefits, they must be your friend first. if i were you id follow my intuition because they are your defensive mechanisms. Don't go rushing anything because 9 times out of 10 if something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

[lovenInsp]

I would say... if he was a player, its still too early to tell. As a player, you have to get the girl first to play on them, which is what he's doing. He's obviously trying to put the moves on you, maybe not the moves you thought he would put on, but moves nonetheless.

Just remember, he can't play on you if he doesn't have you.