Boyfriend and Facebook problem

[Milena]

Hey guys!
I've been together with my boyfriend for 9 months..in a LDR, 2 hours away. During this time, I think we fought about 20 times over facebook, I started it, and here's why :
-he doesn't want to change his status from blank to in a relationship, even though I did.
- he doesn't want to put pictures of us on his profile, but he has a lot of photos with his friends (girls) hugging.
- if I comment or like his photos/links, he often gets annoyed, saying : "you just want to mark your teritory" , and sometimes deletes them
-he adds a lot of girls who he doesn;t know..very whorish looking
-he "likes" other girls' photos, but never liked one of mine ..and so on..

Because of that, I often got upset and started fights. His response was always: it's my profile, you don't tell me what to add on it or how to act". He said that if I mention facebook again, he'll break up with me.

I sometimes think his behaviour on facebook might be a sign that he doesn't want other girls to know he's in a relationship. And it makes it harder when it's a LDR.
Do you think I'm just too paranoid? Thanks!

[Charlie Boy II]

No I don't think you're too paranoid. His behaviour is highly suspect.

From what you write, it seems clear he doesn't want his friends to know he's dating you.

[Dune]

He's such a dick.

[surfhb]

You two are immature and Facebook is the most idiotic thing on the planet!!!

[VincenzoG91]

The Facebook stuff is just a symptom of the real problem: you're in a long-distance relationship with a player. He's got you at a safe distance, so he is free to interact with other women who live in his area. It's a good setup for him, but you might want to consider your options.

[sookie6]

I think you are either naive or stupid...no actually Ithink you are young and naive and its a big learning curve for you...

When a guy does not want to tell the world he is in a relationship with you...it's time to call it off.

Break up and move on. My guess is he won't even fight off the break up, probably waiting for you to end it....

I'm not saying this out of spite. I just think you need a no nonsense approach to your questions.

Long Distance and Relationships don't go together.

[smackie9]

First off, date locally, secondly, keep your private business off FB, thirdly if someone starts waging war over the Internet with you, dump them.

[Randomness]

Generally, long distance relationships don't work well all in all, and let people act according to how they please without the partner much knowing of their actions (unless they happen to be faithful and honest). He sounds very suspicious, why would he want to cover pretty much your entire relationship up? I suggest you re-think this over, and view it from a third party perspective. Good luck to you )

[novocane]

I can almost guarantee that he is playing you. Two hours away, will not admit he is in a relationship with you, openly flirting with other females on FB, disregarding your feelings. Sounds like you have a much different view of your "relationship" than he does. He's getting a sweet deal whilst you worry and wonder.

Did you really even need to post this to figure out what to do? Get him out of your life!

[Khryalasi]

LDRs can work just fine, and millions of happy couples are proof of that.

Anyhow, now that we've put that nonsense aside...your boyfriend's behavior is suspicious as hell. I'd say he doesn't want people on FB to know he's in a relationship, in which case he's not really committed to you. If you're OK with that, carry on. If not, I would suggest finding someone who IS committed to you, and is proud to change their status and put up pictures of the two of you together.

[smackie9]

Sure LDRs can work, but only for the short term......relationships need to go to the next level in order to survive, just like any other kind of relationship.

[Khryalasi]

Nope, LDRs can be successful long-term, as long as both people are willing to be patient, and continue working together as a team towards the goal of being together.

Not every relationship needs your specific timeline to last.

[jb1111983]

LDRs can work but only if the love shared is strong and both partners are committed to each other. Most LDRs don't work because frankly their love just wasn't strong to survive the distance. For most people out of sight is out of mind.

Having said that, in your case, OP, I highly suspect your boyfriend loves you. He isn't into you anymore. The way he treats you is how you know if a guy loves you. We like you we (almost) always treat you well. Most men aren't stupid or naive and they well know how little things can mean a lot to girls. By not caring for your feelings he's sending the message loud and clear that he doesn't care about you. Sorry that's a very bad way to behave with someone you claim to be in love with. Just not cool.

[smackie9]

You can argue all you want. There are few success stories to LDRs. Too many are taken advantage of, as well the physical need to be together over takes it which is understandable. Relationships get to a point where they need to progress. And it's always not about their love not being strong enough. There are certain circumstances arise, and all the love in the world can't help you. It does has it challenges and for those few they make it work sure, but it gets to a point where phone calls and love emails don't cut it.....people do want more and when it gets to that point it is extremely painful. That pain can be too overwhelming and it just has to end. When it gets like that, it's not healthy.

[Khryalasi]

You can argue all you want, as well, but there ARE success stories to LDRs. Judging by the fact that this forum exists and that the VAST majority of people coming here seeking advice are in in-person relationships, apparently they aren't highly successful all the time, either.

Compromise, dedication, trust, and communication are key in any relationship, whether it is long distance or not.

As I already said, but apparently you missed, LDRs can be just as successful as any other relationship IF both people are willing to be patient, and work towards the goal of being together. Anyone with half a brain understands that an LDR generally won'tl work if there are no plans to be together, ever, and only a judgmental person who erroneously believes he has all the answers thinks they ONLY work in the short-term, as if he can predict other people's relationships.

I hope that helps.