Hey all, im in a dilemma
1 month ago i found out my ex girlfriend had been lying about serious stuff to me, deep emotional secrets (sexual abuse etc) she kept telling me for years all turned out not to be true. ( I went to police to tip them about a guy chasing her, blackmailing her into sex) they then told me she had never been in contact with those kind of guys (while she told she me did and police was involved) anyway police told me that never happened atleast not with them involved. while she still is convincing me that it happened.
i confronted her about it and she completly went ballistic at me cussing swearing everything you name it she used it against me.
so we didnt talk for like a month , and i couldnt take it anymore i had to text her, so i did that i thought it was unfair that she said to me that i screwed up the relationship and it was my fault (she told me I ****ed it up and we could never be friends again)
yesterday there was a national festival and i came eye to eye with her, of all places i crossed her path and she looked at me and i looked at her and she smiled so i automatically smiled back her face turned red and she just rushed away and i wanted to go after her but she was too fast so i tapped 1 of her friends and said hi and she was all cool to me like : how are you etc. but we kept it short because of my ex.
the rest of that day i was confused and felt so miserable that i couldnt hug her because of our fight so i texted her later that night saying that it isnt going to work like this with the ignoring and the avoiding and i suggested to talk it out .
she called this morning and said she doesnt want to have contact with me , she wanted me out of her life all of that and i told her that i accept that but i want to talk things over so when we see eachother we dont have this hatred and stressy feeling when we are around eachother (like in clubs or anything) because we go out in the same places and i told her that i think it's important when people are special to you or if they where that you just dont cut them out of your life , once your special you stay special. well anyway further down the conversation she brought back up the police thingy, that i went to the police while she told me not to
i told her that i did it because i was worried and i would have done it for everyone, and i do and also said that if we would swap places that she would have done the same thing for me. she said i crossed the line with that and that i had no right, and i know i didnt have the right but in my eyes i had responsibility to do that. because no one else would so i thought it through and knew damn well that it was gonna end up in arguement but not this bad... and like i said she is still saying to me that it happened, and she told me ofcourse police is going to say no nothing happened like that they just dont hand out information. and thye dont but i wasnt there like hey i wanna check a story or i want info, i got the information by coincidence , it just came out of the officers mouth while i wasnt going for that info. (the information that it didnt happen and there was no record of her being involved in sexual abuse etc)
anyway after a while of talking about i had enough of the subject and turned it into interest in what she had been doing lately , and she told some stuff what happened i cracked some jokes like i always do and she was laughing sincerely and i was too i can tell the difference and it was actually a nicer conversation than we had before.
still she said she rather doesnt want to get in touch with me, she closed the conversation cold with just saying bye in a very short strict cold way.
I doesnt really matter to me anymore that she lied about it or not really, if she lied i forgive her. i just want to put it behind me because the past 1-2 months have been the most miserable months of my life. I just want to have her back in my life, because allthough it was turbulent and chaotic , i felt like i was important to her and that made me feel good about myself, because of the ignoring and avoiding i find myself miserable and tired and
so anyway is there anyone here that give their take on this? some advice? some help? maybe experiences they have with people similar like this? because i dont know if it truly happened or that she lied to get attention or what she wants or what shes actually saying..
i was thinking of sending her a white rose with a card on it next week saying: lets talk it out or something down that road. or is this too clingy or sends a sign that im weak?
i just want this miserable situation to end.. and yes i do want her back , but i do accept that it might take time to get there but eventually i want her back next to me, because on paper she might look like a bad person but when we are together just the 2 of us she's really sweet caring and shy overall a girl you can be proud of.
help a brother out please! i beg you !
- Rabb