please please help!

[heartache88]

please may somone help me my life has turned upside down, i was with my ex for 6 years and we have a 2 yr old daughter together, he split with me 2mnths ago he told me he loves me but not inlove with me and we can still be friends, but a week later after dumping me he started a relationship with a girl from work he has already taken her on holiday! i know this could be rebound and she is so different to me, i have straight blonde hair and she has blonde curly hair im skinny with boobs (without sounding big headed) and shes chubby and flat chested, i know it dont help but it just confuses me, it hurts more that i trusted him 100% and i believe he planned this with her, i feel so heartbroken im still deeply in love with him and always will be...please post positive advice i need to know there is a chance he will come back to me we were even talking about another baby together! please someone help i dont want to move on he is my one and only! xx

[Nicholas_V]

People change and you need to be prepared for it. Obviously you need to work ouit some arrangement about your daughter - but if the guy has suddenly snapped out of it, there isn't much you can do, other than get on with your life. Read through this forum - you will realise that for most of us our life has come upside down often in a similar way. It happens, unfortunately.

By the way, obviously you shouldn't blame the new female - if it wasn't her, it would probably be somebody else. And I don't think that making comparisons and trying to rationalise this (in the way of "I have bigger boost, so he is bound to come back to me") will do you any good either.

I personally wouldn't take him back (even if he wanted) after this. How could you trust him again?

[Mathias]

please someone help i dont want to move on he is my one and only! xx

This is exactly why the romantic fallacies promoted by romantic movies and books are a huge problem. This guy is bad for you. He doesn't want to be with you.

If he does come back, he's only going to destroy you again. Yet, you believe he's the "one" person for you?

No.

[heartache88]

i understand and thank you so much for your advice, but i cant move on i have always loved him and i will never stop, he has never done this before and he was the one who was excited for another baby, i dont blame the other girl at all but i feel she had played a part in him leaving so she has disrespected me, he txt me bout a hour ago (while he is on holiday with her) asking if im spending time with another man and have i slept with him which i cant believe he is even asking me that coz im so inlove with him! and its so not true! i want him back will we ever be together?

[VincenzoG91]

He probably didn't start seeing her just one week after breaking up with you, he was already involved with her. You shouldn't want a cheater like that in your life.

[Nicholas_V]

Look I understand where you're coming from. Right now, you want someone to tell you that all hope is not lost. He will probably come back to you, yes. He will probably tell you how sorry he is and that he will never do it again. But he will - and what if this happens when you have another child? In all likelihood, he WILL do it again - statistics do not lie (the probability of someone who has been unfaithful once to cheat again is 10 times higher than for someone who never cheated).

The choice is yours, but, seriously, there are many decent guys out there looking for someone to love - do yourself a favour and see this as an opportunity to change your life (and your daughter's) for the better. It will hurt at first, but from what you're saying here, it will be for the best.

[shymaira]

I agree with all the above comments. No one likes to hear the truth, as it hurts, but if you don't accept it, things will only get worst. For your daughter's sake, move on and get over this guy. He's not worth it.