New girl, and: is this guy full of shit? (Lengthy)

[Ricky]

Alright, this might get lengthy...

Well, the last girl I became attracted to spent Christmas break with my roommate. They come back and I find that they are now going out. Not only that, but they had sex several times. The funny thing is that this girl, a strong Christian, always held on to the ideal of no sex before marriage. She even bought a ring at a Christian store that sort of solidified this promise. Then she gets to telling me that she might like to "try it" sometime. Then she gets together with my roommate and there goes the whole promise thing out the window. I find it fascinating how she made that jump.

Anywho...

It kind of sucked hanging out with them for a while because I would always feel jealous and lonely. The two of them would sit on the couch and be affectionate and I had nobody to cuddle with. I've been getting over it. I've had my eyes on a couple of attractive girls lately, but there's one that takes the cake.

I noticed her last semester in college in one of my classes. She sat in front of me and I never really talked to her (probably because I was sitting next to one of my old flames). I was with a date one time at a small dance and saw this same girl at the dance, and couldn't help feeling guilty because I noticed how beautiful this girl was, and not paying enough attention to my date.

And I mean it, this girl is stunningly beautiful . I happened to go through a little military training thingy with her this semester and was naturally glad to be standing at attention directly across from her and pretty much having to look her right in the eye, with her having to do the same. Plus, she's in one of my classes this semester, so I see her about twice a week at class now, and on occasion I see her here and there. We talk in class and I try to make an impression on her. In retrospect to my past failures (including the girl I lost to my roommate), I'm trying to act with more confidence. I crack some jokes in class and add a bit of cockiness and she laughs and seems to enjoy my presence. Not wanting to seem like a weirdo stalker, I usually go my own way after class, and she is usually talking to one of the other guys that's friends with her.

Just a couple days ago I was walking into the cafeteria and saw her, got her attention by saying "hey," and moved on to get food. I wasn't standing in line long before I saw her coming over to where I was standing. She just mentioned some stuff that was going on in her dorm (light talk) and grabbed some silverware from the counter. She went about her business, and she was the one that ended the conversation (maybe I should of been the one to end it). She could of gotten silverware from where she previously was, but the way I percive it, she came all the way over to where I was to talk to me some more. I think I've started a little spark of attraction. What's your perception?

Anyway, I've been getting this newsletter by a guy who goes by the name of David DeAngelo, who's pimping out his "Double Your Dating" e-book and DVDs and stuff. I've been kind of using what he says in the letters as sort of a basis of how to act around this new girl. He stresses that the magical tool for sparking attraction is being cocky and funny (the C&F). He also stresses that being really nice to women - such as paying for their meals, opening doors for them, trying not to upset them - pretty much creeps them out and makes them unatracted to you. It makes you, according to this fellow, look like a wussy, which is bad. He stresses verbal teasing and other such things. Here's a small quote from one of his newsletters:

"'Nice' is not a word that you want associated with
yourself, in my opinion. Women aren't ATTRACTED to
guys who are 'nice'.

Be interesting, unpredictable... even thoughtful and
original.

But don't be NICE.

Think about it."

Now I consider myself to be a nice guy, and I'm going to treat a woman nicely, not like a jerk. The way I'm percieving this guy's material is that I don't need to be a jerk, but I just need to act confident, and definitely don't act desperate and needy in front of this girl. Still, judging from this guy's responses to some of the letters he gets, he seems to be giving advice more on getting laid than on relationships. He even admits that he isn't "the relationships expert." I don't want a bunch of screw buddies, I'm just interested in having a nice girl. Just how full of shit is this guy?

Anyway, I'm still gonna slowly persue this girl. I'd like to get with her. Only thing that sucks is that there is a possibility that she might be moving out-of-state next semester, and if I suddenly got serious with her and she moves.. well, that would suck.

Anyway, glad to share my thoughts!

[Pulchritudinous]

DeAngelo offers some solid advice bro, but it sounds like you'll need to keep reading his newsletters to get the full scope of what he's trying to explain. Do a Google search for his mailbag and you can read a lot of previous newsletters. What you should be getting is not necessarily avoiding being nice, but rather, avoiding being nice in order to gain favor from women. The best way to figure the stuff out is to get out there and talk to as many girls as you can, and work on the cocky and funny. You'll start to see all that Dave talks about come together.

~P

[King Zarathu]

Dude.. learn AS MUCH AS YOU CAN from DeAngelo.

100% Guaranteed it'll work. BUY EVERYTHING YOU CAN FROM HIM!

seriously man, he has the same thoughts i do about women.

yes, the cocky and funny is like a magic trick.