How to deal with "cheap" friend

[lynndogs]

I have a male friend that shares a lot of common interests as me. We have made many plans for trips for the up coming months that require driving more than 1 hr. Here's my "problem" and don't know how to deal with this.

"Tom" is very...how should I say this nicely...frugal. With the raising gas prices I don't want to be using my car all the time. I can see its heading that way as 80% of the time "Tom" will want to drive my car(think its because hes cheap). We both make the same amount of money and both our car use about the same amount of gas and both new.

I don't know whats the best way to keep this fair. I thought of telling him we could split the cost of the gas or one time we take my car and the next time we take his.

So my two questions are

1.What is the fair way to do this so I'm not the one driving all the time?

2. Whats a tactful way to bring this up to him?

[sadie_genie]

It might be hard for you because you are not used to being honest and fair with your friends. So, start now. Just tell him you want to split the cost. That's it. Don't beat around the bush but don't call him cheap either. If it were my friends, they would automatically offer to share the costs. Geez.

[Boisdevie]

Suggest that because you're short of cash you take his car. Often.

[seganomics]

I have a friend like this. But just because he's frugal doesn't mean he isn't fair. If I've driven or paid recently I very confidently say "Alright let's take your car." and if he pushes back I just remind him "I paid last time."

If he gives you flak about it start making deals... "Fine I'll drive but then you have to cover *blank*"... If he's not budging tell him you'll sit this one out, or find another friend that will pay.

But really the problem usually is solved after "I paid last time."

Frugal friend and I for the most part keep mental ledgers and it works out well. That's my advice.

[thundersw]

You should come to southern Europe, you would be honest in no time with your friend. The gas cost here is insane.

But really the problem usually is solved after "I paid last time."

But this usually is enough.

[Fudala847]

just tell him, " we should split the cost of everything that we both participate it, its not fair for me to pay a lot more ya know what i mean?"

[VincenzoG91]

I have plenty of friends. If I found myself in the position of needing to teach a friend some basic, common courtesy, I would probably just cut down on contact and focus on better friends.

[Jolicoeur]

Go by bicycle. You people used up way too much oil already.

[nerdy_guy]

there's a fine, almost invisible line between being frugal and someone who just wants to take advantage of you. I think you should start searching where that line starts and ends