Wife pissing me off.

[VincenzoG91]

man you missed the point he doesnt have an issue.

Denial isn't helpful.

[warriormaiden]

Not to be harsh, but it sounds like the both of you are seriously f*cked up.

He doesn't want to put forth the effort to TRY and make it work, because he feels like it's not going to work, even though he hasn't even attempted to. And she doesn't even want to talk to him about what's happening in their relationship, because she feels like she doesn't HAVE to.


You two obviously are not trying to even listen and understand the other. You're both being selfish, immature, and all you care about is YOUR needs and what's NOT happening for you in the relationship. Either you shut up and try to work things out, or you get a divorce.

I, personally, feel like you two should get a divorce. Maybe some happiness can come out of this after all.

GOD, I feel for those kids.

[Vampyria]

I have been talking to him for years actually, to which he would tell me its my fault and my problem. I have moved hell to do everything to remove his stress , make him happy and feel loved.

Vashti bite me I am the eldest of 8 children and I am not crying over it. You dont know crap about my kids. And not a damn thing you been sucking out of Regnents posts are true. but keep going.

[Regnent]

Men without issues don't go looking for help from strangers on an internet forum.

And speaking as the oldest girl in a family with 7 children, I can tell you that in my opinion, you have too many kids. I don't know how one would go about finding the time to fix all the issues you have.

Why? Did your family suck?
There should always be time for everything that is required. People want to be selfish, and self absorbed like I have been, and try to use everything as a reason about why it's wrong.
There is nothing wrong about having children, there is nothing wrong with a large family. With all the shit I turned around onto her, she still gave it her all. She has always tried to make things work, but I've turned alot of that around on and blamed her. She has never put unreasonable requests in front of me, but I have taken them and made them unreasonable by being selctive.

If you really think that 7 children is too many, then maybe you should pick which silbling shouldn't have existed.

My wife once told me that if my mother has issues with how many kids we have, that she should tell whichever children were too much, that they should have been aborted.
Of course, I never told my mother this, which is a prime example of how I have -not- supported my wife, and -our- choices to people.
I have then used that to regularly invalidate everything she's done for the children, me, and our family as a whole.

Maybe I need to make the time. No loveforum.net, or browsergames, or name calling, or craisglist and porn. I've found the time to make here feel like she hasn't existed, and you think that there isn't enough time to correct it?
I'm not even sure you even think it's the number of children to be honest.

[Regnent]

Denial isn't helpful.

What's in denial? I've blamed her, and accused her to the point where she's asked herself what's wrong with her.
This is nothing new. The only thing new, is I've turned around, and taken it to a board, where I've continued to blame her.
What do I blame her for? Everything I can, so I'm not at fault.
I have some serious issues with intimacy. So I've done nothing to fix it, but everything I can to make it her fault.
Take your pick, every issue I've posted about, I have had all the control over why it's not working. I didn't listen, or try, I was too concerned with how I felt about, instead of doing what I was suposed to. I didn't make her feel special, or valued, or even wanted. I complained, I stressed over everything I could, and I even threw her under the bus instead of defending US.

[Regnent]

She's been the one trying. She's been the one fighting all this time, and I've done nothing but fight back.
She's the one thats made our home, and our life. And she done it while under constand fire from me, because I'm insecure, and trying to blame her for things I should, could, and -wouldn't- do.

You don't need to feel for 'those' kids. They are some of the best, adjusted kids around. They have a mother who has movd hell and high water for them, including making up for my faults.
She has listened to them, cared for them, and make them feel loved while I've done the exact opposite to her, and even them.

[steviej]

I think people need to stop focussing on how many kids there are, it is irrelevent, it can't be changed! It's also their choice. It's unfair to comment on their kids quality of life, being an only child doesn't automatically mean you're better off than being one of seven.

As for the relationship side, talk about sweeping things under the carpet. Obviously his wife is hurt and angry reading all this, but instead of sitting down calmly and rationally to discuss each others issues and concerns regnent has backtracked, 'admitted' its all his fault and clammed up.
I honestly think you are to scared of your wifes reaction to anything you'll say. You've pretty much admitted this earlier.

I think you should attend couples councilling, it could really help both of you to be more happy with each other and get that spark back again. You both need to be able to open up without one dominating the other.

I genuinely hope you can both work it out!

[Junket]

Awesome, this case is closed.

[DoesntMatter]

Men without issues don't go looking for help from strangers on an internet forum.

Hey, what the fucck!!? That's a slight to every guy here

[imagineallthe]

Well I gotta say. This online conversation goes in the books.

Both of you: Marriage. Marriage is a word and a signed paper explaining how you can never apart. It's a paper. A PAPER. It's nothing. It's a value we make based on nothing. Love would happily survive without the existance of a marriage.
Children. Children are a blessing and a handful. You really can't get rid of any of them, so yeah. Enough about the kids.
Sex. Sex is usually different for a woman and a man - yet both somehow needs to cooperate to function. Sex is intimacy. A guy thinks he can get some if he takes her to dinner. Girl naturally realises this plan, therefor losing all romance and lust because who wants to get planned into bed (besides a man) when what she longed for in the beginning was that fresh-love-feeling of being taken care of and appreciated.
Online chats NEVER show the whole deal. One becomes extreme. Everything he said; extreme. That's the best way to prove a point. It's a place of freedom and a place of ventilation desperately needed. Enough of that.

Sit down, talk. Be quiet. Listen, really listen. Consider divorce. Consider changing your lifes a bit, in the long run - it may not be worth fighting for. You have this one and only life, you share it with each other. You are not husband and wife, you are who you are and you struggle together. That's it. It doesn't matter if anyone is lying. There is no one to lie for but yourself and it's massive liberation in realising that fact. You ARE NOT one, you are not doomed in a sexless life together.

bah...... if you weren't from Canada I'd swear you were my parents.

[sookie6]

You are not husband and wife, you are who you are and you struggle together. That's it. It doesn't matter if anyone is lying. There is no one to lie for but yourself and it's massive liberation in realising that fact. You ARE NOT one, you are not doomed in a sexless life together.

bah...... if you weren't from Canada I'd swear you were my parents.

Kuddos to this

[Inmanl]

Well what an interesting story