12 yrs apart, different race and culture, and halfway across the world..

[CGan]

I met this guy who is 12 years older on a job a year ago. We have only met briefly for a few days and he lives halfway across the world. He has been the nicest one to me throughout our work period then, and has even come up to my defense (even though it wasn't nescessary back then, and it was not serious btw.).

We have managed to keep in touch online since then until now. He started off by asking me if i was a submissive person, etc etc. It was a bit weird at first, having these kind of conversations online, with someone i have met only briefly. I found it very interesting talking to him. Anyhow, he has trusted me a great deal on it. We have also spoken about more general stuff:- religion, common goals, a bit of our past, etc.. and he seems like a decent guy to me (i know, but i have googled him out pretty much and i can say that he's a normal person, just with a kinky side).

Funnily enough, i found myself sharing the same "kinkiness" as he does. And our conversations mostly revolve around this topic.

Anyway, it has been a year now, and now he wants to fly over to meet up. I don't mind meeting up with him, in fact i feel a bit excited about it as well. My only concern is:- would our different cultural backgrounds be a barrier? bear in mind that he is 12 years older. I am in my mid-20s. So far, he's the only person whom I have so much in common with, very similar goals, and sometimes we even know what each other are thinking without saying it (halfway across the world). It may sound a bit ideal, but wouldn't that mean something? Race is not an issue for me. The age gap doesn't bother him. But I come from a relatively traditional family, and sometimes there are prejudices on asian-european couples (btw, i have had always prefered local men to caucasians, it just so happen this guy is caucasian). And i wouldn't know what to say if i had bumped into a friend or (worse, a family member) on the streets with him. Don't even know why i'd be thinking of this, but it i don't want to have any explaining to do (but sometimes that's how it is over here).

And if i do meet up with him, what next? He lives half-way across the world. Of course if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out.

What do you think I need to consider? I am really curious about where this relationship will lead to. But at the same time, I have not been in a real relationship before this, only dates.

P/S: He also mentioned that he just wants to meet up. We've also touched on this topic, and yes we just want to know each other better (as far as our conversations went anyway).
I know that he still had a gf during the first few months after we met, at that time we have never really spoken about our current status (single or otherwise), but after 1-2 months he mentioned that he had recently (then) broken up with his gf, "finally" according to his words. And I had assumed that he was already having problems with his gf. What do you think about this?

[smackie9]

He isn't into a future with you.....it's all about sex. That is all he has on his mind so any cultural difference, etc really will have no bareing on this.

[CGan]

Thanks smackie9. Yes, I have definitely thought of that too. Ok, I'm not a stalker or whatever, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only who does this. I googled him out quite a bit, and it turns out that he's done quite some charity work and was in charge of sports development among youths too. What do you think about that?

[sookie6]

I think you shoul be extremely careful with wat you are doing here especially if you live in a place where reputation is paramount for a young woman's future...

This guy is showing up and what? Do you go for a drink? Can you be seen in public places with him without raising questions in your neighbourhood and family...codes are different depending on the culture and coutry...to this guy meeting with you, flirting with you and possibly trying to bed you (even in the most possibly romantic way) is probably a fun and light hearted experience...to you this could bear unwanted consequences...

The age gap is worrying me...he's already having the upper hand in the 'relationship'...he gets to decide he he turns up and when he leaves...he'll be long gone and you'll be left with only tears and memories..you might never see him again...

The fact he started off questioning you on either you were submissive or not...means he has sexual expectations...to me this sounds like sex tourism...he is checking what he's getting himself into, checking whether this is worth the traveling tickets...

I'd be cautious of where I meet him...for all you know he could abuse you and leave you behind with no second thoughts...he'd probably be right thinking you won't report him...

And finally...breaking up with his gfriend...mmm...how do you check this fact?

[smackie9]

Thanks smackie9. Yes, I have definitely thought of that too. Ok, I'm not a stalker or whatever, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only who does this. I googled him out quite a bit, and it turns out that he's done quite some charity work and was in charge of sports development among youths too. What do you think about that?

Just because one looks like an angel, walks like an angel, doesn't mean they are an angel. So I think nothing to that.