My fiancee has got rid of me and does not want to talk to me anymore!!

[arslan89]

Hi guys i m arslan 21 yrs old and my fiancee's name sabeena 18 yrs old... we are both cousins in relation.. my story is somewhat long hope u ppl wil not get bored of it , here it is as follows;
I love Sabeena so much since 3 or 4 yrs.. One day I visited her home and when I saw her I fell in love wid her and started going their house after 3 or 4 days in start , one day in evening we were alone in room so I told her that I m in love wid her, initially she refused becaise she was afraid that her parents will not agree for this relationship but when I sent my mom to her home they said they are agree for our relationship and soon we got engaged. After that I started visiting their home twice or thrice in a month and have some kissing or hugging with her sometimes. Her family parents brothers , sisters are of somewhat free mind but I always have some doubts in my mind (dont know why) about her from the beginning of our relationship and we also had small fights over cell phone due to my habits of doubting her or stopping her to do her work at home like cooking and cleaning house. Last month her elder sister got married, I also attended that marriage but I was surprised because my fiancee was ignoring me and not behaving me normal like she was before. When I asked her why was she behaving like that with me. She told me that she had said everything that I said to her about stopping her to talk to elder sister's husband and doubting habits and her mother also got very angry at me due to my habits. My fiancee told me not to call her again because her mother had stopped her to have any contact with me and she told me that she respects her mother way too much. Inititally I tried my best efforts to sort out all the things and begged her for one chance and promised her to change myself but it didnot work anymore.I stopped calling her for one day but the other day I was feeling lonely then I called her but instead of answering my call herself, she gave her phone directly to his father and her father was angry at me and said they dont want to have any kind of relationship with me and stopped me to call again to her. I tried my best to let her father assure that I will not repeat those mistakes again and asked many times for forgiveness but he said no. I also sent my mother to their home and my mom talked to my fiancee that she should atleast answer calls but my fiancee said she does not want to have any contact with me. Today I talked to my brother about this matter and he went to their home alongwith his wife to discuss all these things with her parents and her, after all discussion my brother told me that she is very annoyed due to your past behaviour with her as I used to doubted her so much and stopped her to talking to any guy and I even stopped to have male friends at university, as a result she is annoyed of me, she also said that "He gets jealous due to little things and I need a jolly husband not a jealous one". Her parents said that about me that "He is mentally and physically ill , he should become set himself first on his feet then we will think about marriage." But my brother assured them that it will not be repeated anymore and her parents and she said okay we are now only compromising due to you. they said it because they trust my brother so much. So she is now not talking to me anymore and none of her family is answering my calls. My problem is my brother has avoided me to call her as she will tell her father that he is annoying me by calling me again but I can not live without hearing her voice and I am so much depressed and tense due to this situation please suggest me something dear friends. I dont know what to do. My brother has assured that he will help me in this matter and will let me get married to her only if I agree with him. So what should I do? But I am not sure either I am able to get her back or not? And is my relationship is still saved or ended?
HELPPPP
She has told my brother that now she would only talk to if she got married to me then after marriage she will ofcourse do contact with me but not before marriage because due to contact problems increase...

[DarkHelmet82]

um.. are you serkious?

As they say.. Incest is best, put your cousin to the test

[smackie9]

I can only suggest that you leave her alone and give her space so she can settle down and have time to think things over on her own terms. Remember distance makes the heart grow fonder......if you are not around, there's a possibility she will miss you and change her mind.

[arslan89]

We are Muslims and it is allowed in our religion to marry to cousins. Now my issue is as follows pls help...
I kept on calling her many times but she did not pick my phone. I also sent my parents to her home to talk to her but still she is not agreeing and her parents are saying that we will never ever let our daughter get married to ME (as someone has told them that I am ill but I am not). I also called her classmates and asked them to talk to me once but she denied and said she never want to talk to me again and she is very happy with her life and she respects her parents' decision. But I am still neither able to move on in my life nor I like any other girl around I just want to marry her but she said she even don't wanna listen to me anymore. Her parents are saying to her that we find someone better than ME for marriage and nowadays they are looking for a groom. I am so much depressed I cry every time and I can't focus on my work or studies anymore. I think I am getting mad and sometime I feel like I should do suicide or shoot her.

[steviej]

Get the message -SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU.

Move on and let this poor girl get on with her life. You are insecure, jealous and small minded. That is why she doesn't want to be with you, you'll make her life miserable and your behaviour reflects this. Sort your own issues out first before you date other girls, or this cycle will repeat itself.
Having family get involved by trying to convince her and her parents is crazy.

[DarkHelmet82]

dude... you know that having kids with your cousin results in the kid having birth defects...

[BeingAlpha]

Okay -- first despite my feelings on your being related to her.

1) STOP bothering her -- this will only make her more mad at you. She likely now has to dodge the phone and feel like a captive in her own home just waiting for some other brother, mother, friend etc.. coming to visit her on your behalf
2) Get over your jealousy issues immediately..if you don't you will drive every girl away
3) I understand the whole arranged marriage thing but she doesn't want to be with you - so despite what anyone says, she doesn't want to feel captive...move on with your life.

Just leave the girl alone -- what do you think you are going to say that is different that anything else you have already said? Definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

[arslan89]

Now after she broke engagement her parents are telling all people that the boy was mentally ill that is why they broke engagement. They are telling people that boy have some health and mental issues and if they let their daughter married to her and afterwards something bad happened to boy then how bad it will be for their daughter so they does not want her daughter to get married to me.

[steviej]

The way you have been acting, I agree with them.

[arslan89]

Please suggest me something I want her back in my life. Is there anyway to get her back with me? I just can't spend time without talking to her.

[DarkHelmet82]

dude you are gross.. move on before you have kids that have both a dick and a vag

[steviej]

Please suggest me something I want her back in my life. Is there anyway to get her back with me? I just can't spend time without talking to her.

You've blown your chance, you acted crazy and scared her and her family away for good. Learn from this and don't make the same mistakes with the next family member you fall for.

[DarkHelmet82]

You've blown your chance, you acted crazy and scared her and her family away for good. Learn from this and don't make the same mistakes with the next family member you fall for.

hahaha.. Im sure your father already hit it up anyway.. you can thank him for the damaged goods. Lets hope its not the same way when you fall for your sister

[VincenzoG91]

Now after she broke engagement her parents are telling all people that the boy was mentally ill that is why they broke engagement. They are telling people that boy have some health and mental issues and if they let their daughter married to her and afterwards something bad happened to boy then how bad it will be for their daughter so they does not want her daughter to get married to me.

Her parents are your aunt and uncle? That next family reunion should be exciting. Try not to hit on any women there.

[VincenzoG91]

Don't marry your cousin, or your family tree will resemble a 2x4.