Does this mean we don't have a connection? Help!

[michelle21689]

I've been seeing this guy for 9 weeks and we usually talk every night on average of an hour and half, sometimes more. We see each other once a week on the weekends.

I am very attracted to this guy, I like him and have no interest in other guys. He's open-minded, makes me laugh, big gentleman, same views, adventurous, and responsible. He's a great catch and there are sparks but I doubt myself because I'm not sure if there's a connection and I'm scared of that.

I always worry what I will say when I talk to him because it's a struggle for conversation sometimes. I've never dated an introvert because I am one too...so usually I'm around extroverts and they fill the silence. I'm pretty talkative when I want to be though. The weird thing with this guy is that we can talk for HOURS easily sometimes! We can joke, have fun, and we don't want to get off the phone...but other times it's so hard to think of what to talk about...

In person sometimes we're comfortable, joking around, and talking...and again sometimes we don't have much to talk about and it's silent. BUT sometime the silence is comfortable..LOL.

It's like it's an on and off thing...That's why I'm so confused. I'm not sure if this is normal because I never dated anyone else before. I've only had one boyfriend and that was a different situation because I wasn't attracted to him when I got to know him/dated him at first and it helped we were friends before. With this guy I very much am.

I like him a lot and I'm afraid this means we won't work out.

We talk a lot more than we hang out...maybe I'm just not at the comfort level yet? Idk

[Cerby]

Honestly, talking on the phone isn't a good way to maintain a relationship. You should focus more on spending time together and less on the phone. When you talk on the phone, you talk yourselves out and de-value the time you spend together when you're in person.

When I'm newly dating someone I make sure to not spend more than 5-10 minutes per phone conversation and end it, even if there is more to be said. That way when you see each other, two things will happen; you'll have more to talk about, and you'll want to see each other more.

If I was talking to a girl on the phone for an hour every night I'd probably get bored pretty quick. I honestly can't even imagine how I would fill an hour conversation every night.

[steviej]

Agreed.

Not much more to add! Cut your phone convo's down and don't speak much/at all a couple of days before you see him. it'll be a lot better that way!

[sadie_genie]

Even the best of friends run of things to talk about sometimes. Most people don't have exciting or interesting things happening in their lives constantly. This is why people "hang out" or do things instead of having to talk all the time.

[michelle21689]

I agree. I like hearing his voice but how do I tell him to talk on the phone less with me without making it sound like I'm losing interest? Usually around 11 we'll talk until he goes to bed for work past midnight. It's been that way for 2 months.

[devonbrown]

If he is an introvert like you say, talking on the phone for 1.5 hours a night is a definite sign of interest. You see him on the weekends, but not during the week? Are his work responsibilities keeping him from doing things during the week.
Have you asked him out during the week? Maybe he thinks you are too busy. Maybe he is waiting to follow your lead.
Two introverts does not make a very easy relationship, but if you two hit it off like you say, I think that you would enjoy lots of time together.

Good luck.