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Thread: Is she politely brushing me off?

  1. #1
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    Is she politely brushing me off?

    I'm sorry to bring such a newbie question here, but I'm really very inexperienced in the relationship department. I asked a girl (who happens to be a coworker) out for coffee last friday (actually on that same day), and she agreed. I went to where we agreed, and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, I decided I must have worded my request wrong (I said, '...would you be interested in coming back for coffee with me later?'). Since the store we work in is in the mall (and so is the coffee shop), I assumed she meant 'back here' as in the store. So I went back, and found her with a couple of little kids. She apparently was stuck with babysitting and had been waiting on me at the store XD. She jokingly said, 'Yeah, this is my life.' and laughed. I asked if a later time would be alright and she said it would be. I asked her when, and she said she didn't know how long she would be with her cousins (who she was babysitting), so I wrote my number down and asked her to give me a call when she was free. She still hasn't called me, but I have seen her since.
    I decided that it was unfair of me to say that we should have coffee on that very day, so the next time I saw her, I pulled up my schedule and asked her what day would be good for her. She was in the middle of pulling up her schedule to compare, when she was interrupted by a customer. She had to leave after that because her ride to work had arrived. I didn't see her until a few days later, when she was late to work because she was stuck babysitting longer than she was told she would be. She was pretty stressed out and told me that she literally babysat from the time she woke up to the time she went to sleep. When I went on break, I noticed someone had brought in brownies. Trying to be thoughtful, I brought her one down and told her to relax when I gave it to her. Her face relaxed and she smiled at me when I did this. I didn't get to stick around because I had stuff to do.
    Anyways, I haven't seen her (or heard from her) since. I'm pretty confused on this topic, I mean, on one hand, she's shown she's interested (she's been comfortable with me enough to invite me into her car [or her family's car, since she often has to get a ride] while I waited on my own ride to just sit and talk), she laughs at my jokes, she's often happy to see me, but on the other...well, she still hasn't called. What would you all take from this? Should I press the issue? I was thinking of waiting until a day we both got off of work at the same time (preferably before close) and asking if she would like to grab some pizza at the local pizza place. Is she just being nice? Am I worrying too much? I really hate being inexperienced like this :|

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    Quote Originally Posted by crackerjake View Post
    I really hate being inexperienced like this :|
    Don't worry about it. Be proud that you actually had the balls to ask her out. It's the only way to gain experience.

    Just don't get hung up on any one girl until you've actually been on some dates. Seems like you're already too hung up. You asked her out a couple of times and you gave her your number - the ball is in her court. Now you just have to basically forget about her and if she calls, great! But keep your eyes open and ask out lots of other girls in the meantime.

    Maybe casually try once more when you both get off work at the same time. If she blows you off again, she doesn't want to go out with you.

    (That brownie thing was a really nice gesture. Cute. Just be careful not to do that sort of thing too much.)

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    My only concern about asking other women out would be what to do if she DOES give me a call? What if things actually do take off? What would I say to any of the other girls if I decided to go with one? I'm sorry if this comes off as whiny or shallow, I'm really, truly, fresh to this, lol.

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    You do know that you can casually date lots of girls at once, right? Dating is just going to things with someone of the opposite sex. Just like you would do with a guy friend, only there's more flirting and stuff involved.

    So say you ask a couple of other girls out on dates. If they say yes, you take those girls out, maybe multiple times. If the coworker girl call you, then you take her out on dates also. They're just dates, nothing serious. If you want to get serious with any of those girls, then you just...stop seeing the others. Stop asking them out on dates, and if they ask you, just decline.

    How old are you, by the way?
    Last edited by MerryH; 15-04-11 at 04:24 PM.

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    I'm 19. Thanks for the responses, btw.

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    I'd just ask her "third time lucky on the coffee? and smile"

    Going by what you have said I'd say she was interested in you just hasn't got around to calling you, she sounds pretty hectic so maybe she lost your number and is too shy to ask for it again

    You have nothing to lose by giving it another go but as MerryH said, if she doesn't go this time just back off and let her do the running and ask some other girls out too, you never know you might find someone else you really like as well

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    Never give a girl your number. Always ask a girl for her number.
    Is it burnin'? Well, f-ck, now you're learnin'.

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    Do you really want to get involved with someone who's life outside of work is pretty much nothing else but babysitting?

    She's interested but hasn't got the time, I think you'd get very fed up with this very quickly!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II View Post
    Never give a girl your number. Always ask a girl for her number.
    I couldn't agree more. Always ask for her number!

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    Yeah, I didn't think about that mistake until after I gave her my number...kinda hard to redeem that error though, lol.

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    I did what was probably the smartest thing I've done since I asked her out: I talked to a close friend of hers. He pretty much told me that if she was interested, she would have returned my call and made time for a date. Kinda answers my question, lol. Thanks for the responses, looks like I'm back to square one. Again -.-

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