I have been with this girl for 2 and a half years, i'm 23 now and she is 21... during that period, we ate together,slept together, went to classes together, played computer games, went travelling together. We had visited each other's families, and even grandparents.
At first, i really put alot of effort into the relationship. However, as a guy, our heart can sway at times... As she was the one i'm closest with, i told her and it made her very sad... we stopped holding hands as i felt we would look bad, if i were to look at other girls while we were holding hands.
Being in such doubt at that time, and also due to me being a Christian and she buddist, we couldnt give in to each other in case we were gonna have kids. This made my rational side of thoughts believe we werent' mean for each other, and i wanted the breakup.
She however insisted on holding on, and wouldnt allow me to breakup with her... Thus, we spent about 10 months together despite that. During that period of time, we still lived together like a couple, i then got attached to this computer game and didnt spend much time with her, and eventually she wanted out. At that point of time, i thought... "good, this is a great chance for me to get rid of this relationship".. but i started to miss her the instant she left my room, almost screwed up my exams..
Till this day... 1/2 a year from our breakup, i have never felt any happier, I dream of her very frequently, I miss her dearly.
Upon the breakup, she still left her stuff in my room, has my roomkey, uses my bedsheet and i use hers, but she hates me. She is annoyed everytime i try to start a conversation with her.
I gave her flowers during valentines, and wished her. Twice i tried to reconcile with her, but it both didnt work out..
As human beings, we would never know our psychological state. Why would our heart sway?
This very day, I have known the reason why.. its about, expectations. I believe, that knowing this, i can put away these expectations i expect from her.
People say, Hate and love is just a line.. She hates me, or hates herself for loving me in the past..
What should i do now? Could we still get back?