I found a "looking for sex" profile for the guy I was dating. :( Help?

[whatthis]

Ok so there's this guy I've been seeing. We weren't official, but we definitely clicked, and he was telling me about his life goals and he gave me the vibe that he wasn't just looking for a hook up. Anyway, we've been on a few dates, he introduced me to his friends and dog. He's also been over at my place (we never slept together, but we've kissed). The only thing was that every time we hung out, his phone was ringing off the hook. He told me that his job was very stressful and that sometimes he had to put in weird hours and so he'd have to take calls at odd hours. So anyway, after our last date (with the phone blowing off the hook), he said he had to leave early and would have to go in to work, so we parted ways.

All this (and a few other odd behavior) got me REALLY suspicious and so I started a little spywork of my own and I found a couple of online profiles of him looking for casual sex. And it explicitly stated that he was just looking to randomly hook up with people (with blonde hair and big boobs - and I'm definitely not blonde). It also showed that he was online in the past 24 hours on those websites. (We met online on a different website where he said he was looking for a relationship and the whole time we hung out, he made it sound like he was looking for a wife - which made me REALLY suspicious - my belief is, if it sounds too good to be true, be REALLY suspicious).

Right after I found out about the sex profile, I was a bit down, and I drank a lot of whiskey. I'm educated, and people consider me attractive and I've dated quite a bit - but the thing is, I always end up with guys like this -- I have HORRIBLE taste in men (not that we were official, but still this was one guy out of 1000 that I was interested in). I'm not really sure what he was after as far as I was concerned, because he didn't even make a move to kiss me until our 4th date.

My plan is to "dump" him by telling him that I found someone better than him and totally belittle him at the same time sounding completely innocent. So I was thinking maybe I could continue being in touch with him and then keep him hanging on and then one day "dump" him by telling him that I found someone better. This way he'll get a taste of his own medicine..... I was really into this guy

I just want to hurt him in some way. I'm not immature enough to go key his car or anything like that. And I've never been the sort of person to take revenge. But I've taken so much crap and been cheated on before. Why do I have to be the one always ending up at the bottom? I want him to know what it feels like to have your feelings hurt and to feel used.

What do you think of this idea?

[Bonfire]

I just want to hurt him in some way. I'm not immature enough to go key his car or anything like that. And I've never been the sort of person to take revenge. But I've taken so much crap and been cheated on before. Why do I have to be the one always ending up at the bottom? I want him to know what it feels like to have your feelings hurt and to feel used.

What do you think of this idea?

You can't hurt someone who didn't invest his feelings into you. Get it? So even if you dump him, he will just move on to the next girl, he probably has a few girls he is seeing. He's a pig who is only after sex. Since you didn't sleep with him, you don't need revenge. If you really want to do something, you can suggest picking him up to go have dinner, order something expensive and then skip out on him and leave him with the bill and no ride home. lol But then he probably will get you back for that, so it's best just to dump him and be done with him.

[Horseyguy]

Get over yourself, seriously, you dated a few times

If you don't want to keep seeing him then fine dump him, but he doesn't owe you anything, not after 4 dates and when you aren't even official

Just walk away, simple

Plotting revenge because he may or may not be seeing someone else is just extreme if you ask me and says way more about you than it does him.

You are not even together at this point, you are not exclusive he's totally entitled to be looking around until you guys have some form of committment to each other, if you can't deal with that then walk away, now!!

Because if you stay with him just so you can pay out on him later, that's calculating, controlling and manipulative and from what you have written, when you do dump him, he's the one that's dodged a bullet if you ask me.

[whatthis]

You can't hurt someone who didn't invest his feelings into you. Get it? So even if you dump him, he will just move on to the next girl, he probably has a few girls he is seeing. He's a pig who is only after sex. Since you didn't sleep with him, you don't need revenge. If you really want to do something, you can suggest picking him up to go have dinner, order something expensive and then skip out on him and leave him with the bill and no ride home. lol But then he probably will get you back for that, so it's best just to dump him and be done with him.

Yeh I know what you mean. But don't you think no matter how NON-invested he was in me, wouldn't it hurt him at least a little bit if I made it clear that initially I was interested in him, but I found someone more successful and handsome than him? That has got to hurt his ego right?

Wow I've sunk so low at this point lol.

He's always insisted on paying the tab whenever we're out anyway - and I always make it a point to offer to pay. So I don't think an expensive tab would hurt him. Man I just wish I could find one faithful guy who I actually like! This sucks! No more online dating for me.

[whatthis]

Get over yourself, seriously, you dated a few times

If you don't want to keep seeing him then fine dump him, but he doesn't owe you anything, not after 4 dates and when you aren't even official

Just walk away, simple

Plotting revenge because he may or may not be seeing someone else is just extreme if you ask me and says way more about you than it does him.

You are not even together at this point, you are not exclusive he's totally entitled to be looking around until you guys have some form of committment to each other, if you can't deal with that then walk away, now!!

Because if you stay with him just so you can pay out on him later, that's calculating, controlling and manipulative and from what you have written, when you do dump him, he's the one that's dodged a bullet if you ask me.

You sound like you've done this kind of thing before. Anyway, he MISREPRESENTED himself to me. Dating is all about getting to know someone. And he wasn't himself when we were together. He said he was going back to work while he was probably off to f**k some broad he picked up on that website after our date (I did mention he was texting while we were on our date right?). He was all lies and he led me on. And you think heeee dodged a bullet? But you probably won't get it because you probably relate more to that douchebag I was seeing than to myself. Thanks for your post anyway!

[Petit Papillon]

Very well . Do as you plan, assholes deserve it honey.But you have to know, there ARE good guys in there and every woman find one eventually.Don't be upset

[Bonfire]

Yeh I know what you mean. But don't you think no matter no NON-invested he was in me, wouldn't it hurt him at least a little bit if I made it clear that initially I was interested in him, but I found someone more successful and handsome than him? That has got to hurt his ego right?

Nope, you have to understand the mindset of a player. They don't care about rejections in any form. It's a numbers game for them. So even if you belittle him, he probably has heard worst considering he has probably hurt a few girls in his past. So it's best just to tosh him out like the trash that he is. No need to spend anymore time thinking about him. And you will find a faithful guy. You just need to learn how to spot them. I always say, the shy, quiet ones are usually the faithful ones. If a guy is smooth and flirty, you bet he has plenty of women under his belt.

[Petit Papillon]

Get over yourself, seriously, you dated a few times

If you don't want to keep seeing him then fine dump him, but he doesn't owe you anything, not after 4 dates and when you aren't even official

Just walk away, simple

Plotting revenge because he may or may not be seeing someone else is just extreme if you ask me and says way more about you than it does him.

You are not even together at this point, you are not exclusive he's totally entitled to be looking around until you guys have some form of committment to each other, if you can't deal with that then walk away, now!!

Because if you stay with him just so you can pay out on him later, that's calculating, controlling and manipulative and from what you have written, when you do dump him, he's the one that's dodged a bullet if you ask me.

What a bull. He's clearly lying into her eyes. I'm sure he wanted to make her fall for in, so he would have constant bootycall ,right? Cause if she fell in love she wouldn't leave no matter what, at least for some period of time. Good that she kept an open mind and did some research about him .

[whatthis]

You just need to learn how to spot them. I always say, the shy, quiet ones are usually the faithful ones. If a guy is smooth and flirty, you bet he has plenty of women under his belt.

Thanks Bonfire My problem is that I go for the smooth flirty ones (I say that I have the douchebag syndrom). Hopefully next time I take your advice

[Petit Papillon]

If I were you, while still dating him, I would "by accident" make his phone or other electronic devices fall or break You know, not too expensive stuffs, so he won't ask you to rebuy them, but important enough to make him be upset for a more than a moment. You know like ps3 pad , iPod, his flat screen tv remote, maybe his mobile phone guys tend to love their electronics

[Horseyguy]

You sound like you've done this kind of thing before. Anyway, he MISREPRESENTED himself to me. Dating is all about getting to know someone. And he wasn't himself when we were together. He said he was going back to work while he was probably off to **** some broad he picked up on that website. He was all lies and he led me on. But you probably won't get it because you probably relate more to the douchebag I was seeing than to myself. Thanks for your post anyway!

Nope I have never dated anyone when I was dating / seeing / talking to anyone else, never have and never will, but that's just how I am.

I think the guy is a player, simple as that , and yeah maybe he is leading you on, or maybe he's genuinely interested in you but not ready to commit.

But as I said already, if you don't like what he's doing then end it.

If you feel you have to go seeking revenge because he's not committing himself to you after a few dates and to do that you want to plot and scheme some way at getting back, you are right, I don't relate to that.

Just kick him to the kerb, hold your head high and find someone more deserving of you

[whatthis]

What a bull. He's clearly lying into her eyes. I'm sure he wanted to make her fall for in, so he would have constant bootycall ,right? Cause if she fell in love she wouldn't leave no matter what, at least for some period of time. Good that she kept an open mind and did some research about him .

Thank you Petit. People think 4 or 5 dates isn't much. But I've known this guy for the past couple of months and he made it sound like he was really interested in me. I was gonna be away for a month over the summer and he told me he wanted to do something big for me so that I wouldn't forget about him. What an ass. Oh well. Good thing I found out this early.

[Horseyguy]

What a bull. He's clearly lying into her eyes. I'm sure he wanted to make her fall for in, so he would have constant bootycall ,right? Cause if she fell in love she wouldn't leave no matter what, at least for some period of time. Good that she kept an open mind and did some research about him .

Well of course he is. He's being a total tool but why does she then have to go lower herself as a consequence. Best revenge she can get is to tell him straight that she knows what he's up to, isn't having a bar of it and he can go f*** himself

[whatthis]

Nope I have never dated anyone when I was dating / seeing / talking to anyone else, never have and never will, but that's just how I am.

I think the guy is a player, simple as that , and yeah maybe he is leading you on, or maybe he's genuinely interested in you but not ready to commit.

But as I said already, if you don't like what he's doing then end it.

If you feel you have to go seeking revenge because he's not committing himself to you after a few dates and to do that you want to plot and scheme some way at getting back, you are right, I don't relate to that.

Just kick him to the kerb, hold your head high and find someone more deserving of you

Thanks Horseguy.... Normally I just "kick people to the kerb" and move on.... right now I'm sort of drunk... and I guess I'm still fuming over the fact that I only fall for players... I should be a player. Dammit. Maybe I need sleep. lol. And lots of agua.

[whatthis]

Well of course he is. He's being a total tool but why does she then have to go lower herself as a consequence. Best revenge she can get is to tell him straight that she knows what he's up to, isn't having a bar of it and he can go f*** himself

You know, I totally agree with you and that's normally what I would do. I need to sober up. F*8k. I'll tell him tomorrow.