Guys who lack skill

[Pakistani]

I think i have great skills

[vashti]

I think i have great skills

Yeah, everyone is a rock star.

[cheeky&sexy]

Don't know what to tell you. If you like the guy in all the other ways, your just gonna have to live with it (or "train" him).

Nerves can be a factor though, if a girl is particularly good looking, sexual, experienced, independent, assertive or aggressive (or any combination thereof), some guys can get nervous. Nervous guys don't always perform well. You just have to wait for them to become more comfortable.
.

lol i have been in this position with guys more often than not, where theyre insecure about their body n will make negative comments about their appearance before sex, which is really annoying and a turnoff (even if theyre like a 10/10 this has happened, its insane to me haha). and on top of this, most of the guys were nervous about their performance and pretty obvious about it, which is cute but in the OPers case maybe its causing them to not perform at their best. and so i will say to the OP that in my experience, in order for them to perform well u have to stroke their ego and build it up as much as u can without sounding fake. They need to think theyre the best before they can be the best. Dont lie and go to extremes by saying theyre the best you've ever had or hottest you've ever had, but make them feel like they are by complimenting them a lot. On the flip side however, the guys become arrogant and think theyre gods gift to woman lol and mite turn into a bit of a player. But once theyve got the confidence, then they wont be offended or feel insecure when u try to teach them how to do things better.

[bloodtippedrose]

You should try to open up to the perks of domination

[sadie_genie]

You should try to open up to the perks of domination

LOL. I have had guys who told me they love to be dominated by women during sex while they play coy.

[Yet another guy]

Who wouldn't love that?

[tehwarlock]

Shelly, could you provide some examples? I'm kinda curious what other mistakes you noticed. Pretty please?

[ShellyZ]

Haha, you're gonna open the floodgates. I haven't really encountered anything disastrous, just some things that are obvious signs of inexperience. My boyfriend in college, for example, never said anything to me while we were making out (we didn't have sex but came close to it, we dated for 2.5 years). Everything we did was done in total silence, except for the occasional "oh shit" from him when he came. He really acted like he was masturbating by himself, except he was doing it on top of me, which made it really awkward. Since he never said anything to me, he would do things like push my head down (I put a quick stop to that) and once he accidentally came on my face. That was horrifying. Sorry, but do most 21-year-old guys not know when they're about to come? This is why communication is important.

My first boyfriend after college was a really bad kisser when we first got together. I mean, his kisses were fine, but then he got the idea to LICK me. He would literally lick all along the side of my face and my neck, until I was like "dude, I'm not an ice cream cone." I didn't have sex with him either, but he told me that his last two girlfriends lost their virginity to him, and he didn't use lube with either of them. He was telling me that it took several tries because sex hurt the girl so much that they had to stop. I said he must not have used enough lube and he was like "enough what?" He didn't even know what lube was. *face palm*

Ya know, stuff like that. :-)

[Yet another guy]

Hey, this thread might become a good source of information

What sort of things should couples say to each other while making out?
Lube is needed for sex? I thought vagina is self lubricating
Could you describe good kissing. Licking is bad, I take it.

Also, why did you let your boyfriend masturbate on top of you if you could have just had sex?

[ShellyZ]

I can't tell you what you "should" say because then it would be scripted. Sorry, but it has to come from you. I'm not saying couples should be chatting while they're making out or having sex, but usually a little bit of passionate communication is involved. For example, find a way to politely request a blow job instead of just pushing a girl's head down. This gives her the opportunity to say no instead of having to physically resist your hand. Generally, you'd tell each other what you like, what feels good, etc.

Lube is always needed for a girl's first time, otherwise it will be very painful for her. Yes, women do produce their own lubrication when aroused, but it's not nearly enough. Even after the first time, lube is helpful. It also shows the girl that her man is being considerate, since he's thinking of her comfort instead of planning to just shove it in. I've never had sex without lube and I don't think I'd be able to. I'm a small person, k? Despite what many men believe, lube was not designed for masturbation. It was designed for sex; that's its primary purpose. Eventually, men realized that they could use it on themselves, lol.

A good kisser is someone who kisses like you. It's different for everyone, but most people don't enjoy being licked.

My boyfriend wasn't literally masturbating on top of me, it just seemed like he was since he never said anything to me or reacted to me in any way. We were making out, but he was very much in his own head. We didn't have sex because I wasn't ready.

[Yet another guy]

Thanks Do you have any more insight about what sort of kissing most people enjoy or don't enjoy?

Now, I'm even more confused. How did he accidentally cum on your face without masturbating. Or did you mean that he was masturbating but wasn't on you?

[ShellyZ]

I can't really generalize about kissing. I know what type of kissing I enjoy, but everyone has their own preference. A good rule of thumb is to pay attention to your partner. If she's not using her tongue, then don't use your tongue. Do what she does, and pay attention to her reaction. And make sure you swallow every few seconds so you don't drool on her. :-)

This is probably TMI, but I was giving him a hand job. I thought it was pointed toward my chest, but apparently it was pointed toward my face. I didn't even get any warning. He was as surprised as I was. *shudder*

[Yet another guy]

Aah, let her take the initiative, gotcha.

Now it's making more sense. I don't think that it's very common for anyone who has masturbated at least a few times to not know when it's coming. The direction on the other hand is often a surprise since it often shoots with an unpredictable angle.

[sadie_genie]

I didn't have sex with him either, but he told me that his last two girlfriends lost their virginity to him, and he didn't use lube with either of them. He was telling me that it took several tries because sex hurt the girl so much that they had to stop. I said he must not have used enough lube and he was like "enough what?" He didn't even know what lube was. *face palm*

Ya know, stuff like that. :-)

Even virgins should know what lube is. This is definitely very odd. Where is he from? The countryside? And how old are you btw?

[Yet another guy]

Even virgins should know what lube is. This is definitely very odd.

We cerainly should. Unfortunately we aren't all getting the information. I didn't use lube until I was 23 last year. Then I had to because my skin was starting to get irritated. I wish I had lube much earlier

His reaction doesn't necessarily mean he didn't know what lube was. More likely he didn't know it was used for sex. As didn't her earlier girlfriends apparently.