Is it wrong to have a back up guy??????

[luvbugg88]

Me n my man went through a break up n 3 months later we got back together now idk if he has changed. not for sure is it wrong that I talk to other guys? Even if I'm not sleeping with them?? Cuz in case my man is tha same I really didn't waste time u kno.. So what do u guys think let m know please??

[Bonfire]

It's ok as long as you have a backup for the backup guy. Just to be on the safe side.

[luvbugg88]

Lol true but it's like I feel like it's cheating... Idk

[jb1111983]

Why do you feel like it's cheating?

[Yet another guy]

As long as you keep them strictly as friends. Don't lead them on.

[luvbugg88]

Well I feel like it's cheating cuz talking to them behind bf back. N well I'm the type of person that I like to kiss n see if tha guy knows how to kiss so if I do I work really be cheating... K

[hello1]

Now if my boyfriend had a back up in case we broke up, I would go cracy as it showed he never thought we would last anyway. Maybe you have back ups because you know he not the one for you

[jb1111983]

There's this girl I've fallen for big time. I'm beginning to think she's keeping me as a back up. She has no bf though which is why I'm not really sure about it yet. But if my suspicion is correct I'm cutting all ties with her (she's a friend). But I really hope I'm wrong about this because we get along so well and really I love her. But I have no desire to be anyone's second choice. I guess this is how it feels like to be someone's back up guy.
You sound like a good girl though. So yeah I think it's a form of cheating on your boyfriend if you're leading on another guy. This is why you're not feeling good about it. Do your best to make your relationship with your boyfriend work. If it doesn't work out you gotta leave him. Only then should you start seeing other guys. But hey who am I to tell you what to do or not to do. You go with what you believe is the right thing to do. Good luck.

[Cinnabella]

No i don't think having back up is good, it somehow shows that you are insecure and can't live without men? To be honest even if you guys will break up, you will need time to get over him, jumping from relationship to relationship is just bad for yourself and someone else. And try your best with your relationship instead of distract your mind n comparing with some back up guys, i feel like it's cheating in mind btw, up to you.

[JadenMia]

If you feel the need to have a backup guy then you shouldnt be with your boyfriend anyway. It is showing you have zero trust that this will work out and your pretty much expecting him to hurt you. What kind of relationship is that?
Having a backup guy also shows you are scared to be completely alone, which is silly really. To really get over a breakup and heal it is a good idea to be alone. That way you can realise, you are going to be OK without him and you will be just fine if someone else doesnt come along right away. If you have someone else as soon as you are done with your boyfriend, you never really had time to heal, be at peace with yourself only. I think so anyway..

Also, it is kind of cheating. Your boyfriend wont like it and you know that for a fact, he doesnt know you are talking to them and no doubt you are flirting with them to keep them around right? So it is kinda cheating and in that sense alone you are trashing the relationship so you might as well leave now.

Im only saying this from experience btw. Last year me and my partner broke up after he did something horrid. I immediately got out there and met someone else. I didnt really like him, we just hung out and started seeing each other and he really did keep my mind off things. But i wasnt learning anything from the breakup.. It was pointless and only harming myself. In the end me and my bf got back together and what a mistake that was.. I was still talking to other guys and it just ruined everything anyway.

So if i were you, drop the guys your talking to (dont worry, more will come along one day) and really work at it with your bf. If you dont feel he is the one for you, or if he messes it up. Leave.. Yes its hard, but it will be worth it when your happy again and can find someone who does make you hppy and not feel the need to have backup guys.

All the best x

[luvbugg88]

Thanks jadenmia u really understand what I'm goin through we have the similar shit happen to us. Thanks I got a clear mind on what Imma do

[sadie_genie]

Having backups makes you sound like you have some dependency problems. Be with guys because you like/love him, not because you think they can provide you with emotional security.

[devonbrown]

Having backups means that you are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. If you are just dating this guy (not a committed relationship), then there is no reason why you couldn't see other guys. But the way you make it sound seems that you should not be with your bf or are ready to be with anyone at this point. Play the field and have fun. There is nothing wrong with that. Just don't confuse that, or let others confuse that, for something more.

Good luck.

[VincenzoG91]

Your back up "guy" should be a vibrator.