Confused.com, help please!

[SarahA]

I know.. thats the only thing, i have been used before and i know how it feels so i would never make a guy feel like that. not even if they deserved it

[DarkHelmet82]

ok good.. now get that book!

[Cerby]

As a guy who just got rebounded and hurt by a girl that was "ready for a relationship". I can tell you your ex may not know what he is doing, but he doesn't seem too concerned about what you think. The girl he is with, if she is a rebound, will also be hurt in the end by him.

That said, you shouldn't go out and get someone so quickly, after a couple of months you'll be bored with them because they aren't filling the hole in your life the way your ex did, and you'll end up dumping them and just passing your hurt over to someone who doesn't deserve it.

As a recent reboundee trying to pick up the pieces, I would recommend AGAINST finding someone new or a distraction, unless you tell them RIGHT AWAY that there is no hope of a serious relationship.

[DarkHelmet82]

rebounds can work but you cant just date someone as a distraction.. you need to want it to work

[rachel1979]

Not taking it personally is definitely the key to getting over someone, although I do agree it isn't always easy!

My ex blamed me for everything going wrong and said I ruined our relationship. At the start I agreed with him, as I didn't want to lose him, but this ust gave me him more fuel to blame me. With a bit of time, and a lot of help from myfriends, I am starting to realise that although I made some mistakes and could have done things differently, I am not to blame. It didn't work for lots of reasons, some of which I don't understand, but accepting that some things were just not meant to be is really helping me.

In the long run I believe the outcome would have been same regardless of what I did or didn't do. If he truly wanted me and for the relationship to work he would have accepted me for who I am and worked to make it work. As he did neither he obviously didn't want it as much as he told me he did.

It is tough but it gets easier, just be strong.

[Mayita]

I am in the exact same situation as Cerby.
I was in a rebound relationship with a guy who also was "ready and knew what he wanted from life".. So I am strongly against dating someone new just as a distraction.
It wouldn't be fair on the guy and just a waste of his time.

Just remember that time heals everything. Believe me. I was myself in pieces 2 months ago, kept crying and crying all night, everynight, thinking about everything and how unfair it was. But you know what, it's been 2 months and I'm much much better.

I still think about him everyday, but I don't feel sad anymore. If it's not meant to be, it's just not. Once you meet the right man, you will be so happy that things ended this way with your ex-boyfriend, you will be all smiling.

All you need is time, and when we ask you if you're over him and you say yes, then you'll be ready for a new relationship. Meanwhile, spend time with your friends, that's what I did, you will get better. And remember, God will never take anything away from you if it's not to give you something better!