Found the lover after painful 5 years, but the worst happened!

[SeenSheen]

5 years back, in my childhood, I fell into love with my classmate. I was in a religiously strict school, where boys and girls were seated in different sections. So only on few occasions we looked at each other, and smiled. I was in grade 7 at that point. Before I could go and directly talk to her, I suddenly had to move to another country.

Dejected, I missed her badly for all those years. Only, I could know she is in my heart and mind for all those 5 years. I so wanted to contact her, but I had no means for it. I was mad in love with her, her smiley face in my memories, and then one day..

I found the group of my previous school on facebook. There was she! as a member. I sent her a message that I can recall her, how is she etc. But to mark the end of world for me, she didn't reply- no recognition at all. :/

I have little hope that my friend request would be accepted. PLUS, I fear she might block me. So the only way of contact, which I found after painful five years would be lost as well. Why did this happen!!!!! What shall I do? I can't make my mid to get on with it, just can't!

[Looq]

You haven't even spoken to her? think you've put her on a pedestal. Its unhealthy. You need to forgot about her and ask yourself why your so hung-up on a person you have never spoken to, presumably know practically nothing about (if that) and with who you haven't seen in years.

[steviej]

This is infatuation, not love. You never got to speak to or get to know this girl. Because of that, in your head you built her up to be perfect, convinced yourself she'd be your soulmate based on what? The fact that you thought she was pretty and you smiled at each other a few times.

Let it go, move on and meet real girls and get to know them. She is just an object of your obsession in your head, nothing else.

[Looq]

Indeed, think about what you could missed in those five years? You could have let the potential love of your life slip through your fingers just because of this infatuation.

[SeenSheen]

Thanks to all the replies. I know that was my utter absurdness to think her mine when we haven't been in touch- I had a crush on her. But now I'm not in a state to get on with it. I'll message her again, I would appreciate if someone can give me the outline on what should i write, keeping all this context in the view. My first message was absolutely normal, like I talked about usual things- and I still believe any 'love-type' thing will move her further apart from me.

[Looq]

There isn't anything you can say. If she didn't respond to you the first time, further messages (no matter how mundane) will make things worse, she'll just think you're a weirdo. You have to remember, if all you did was simile at each other a couple of times five years ago she probably doesn't even remember you at all. Which is why I would imagine she didn't respond in the first place.

[SeenSheen]

Aah, I see then. Even if she can't recall me, I believe we can start conversing as old, childhood school mates. I want tol give a few tries more, before finally deciding to get over it (as for now I have no idea how would I do that.)

[steviej]

Do you still live in seperate countries?!

Seriously, slap yourself and move on.

[SeenSheen]

She basically belongs to the country where I'm currently living. Moreover, after two months I will be traveling to the city where she's currently in (For some other reasons, I've few senses left not to travel entirely for her) So I was planning to meet up, but now this lack of response is killing me.

[Kevin K]

This is infatuation, not love. You never got to speak to or get to know this girl. Because of that, in your head you built her up to be perfect, convinced yourself she'd be your soulmate based on what? The fact that you thought she was pretty and you smiled at each other a few times.

Let it go, move on and meet real girls and get to know them. She is just an object of your obsession in your head, nothing else.

^ he just nailed it on the head perfectly. you are driving yourself crazy with your very own mind. recognize it and let it go. i know it's not easy but neither is living with so much self-inflicted suffering and self-torment.

[DarkHelmet82]

are you serious?

[Boisdevie]

Deep down she loves you. I think you should devote your life to her. It's obvious that you and her are made for each other. The fact that she can't remember you is just a way of turning you on and making you realise just how much she wants you.

[SeenSheen]

I know it all sounds too lame. I blame My young, immature mind 5 years ago which took this all too long. That very strong, pleasing yet uneasy feeling of 'love' I experienced at that point is again all- alive today. Had I not found a way to meet her again, I may have let it go in days to come. But now, since I can see the that damn way, yet unable to reach it- makes me feel sick. all I can do is to pray and hope for good. :

And yea I'm serious.

[DarkHelmet82]

how can you be in love with somsone you never even dated... now there is a difference between unconditional love and infatuation

[Looq]

She will never reciprocate. Forget her. You have no choice in the matter. It may be hard, but your behaviour is pathetic and is bordering on stalking. Not only will you drive her away and get your heart broke, you might even get yourself in trouble.