Looks like she's got a new boyfriend, I need advise desperately.

[fivefootfour]

I've posted on here before as I was thinking contacting my ex who split up with me about 5 months ago. She gave reasons like she needs to since she turned 21 she realised she needs to sort her life, her career, get her friends back etc but we would have a chance in the future i found out that she started seeing her ex again shortly after but i dont know if anything happened but this is when I cut contact for 3 months. I did contact her about a month and a half ago as her gran died and we had very contact but she did wish me a happy birthday a few days later I thanked her, showed sympathy for her gran and we left it at that. She unblocked me on facebook and her profile pic was one from when we were on holiday and still is but it said she was single.

I've just returned from another holiday and was thinking of getting in contact but then I notice that she's in a relationship with a different lad. I feel awful, it's like she's dumped me again. I immediately burst into tears and feel sick. What is wrong me me, it's been 5 months since we broke up and she's on my mind everyday day, I wake up every morning and she's on my mind and I keep dreaming about her. I just don't know what to do, how to move on and meet new people etc.

Please can anybody help me and give me some advice?

[Bonfire]

I just don't know what to do, how to move on and meet new people etc.

Please can anybody help me and give me some advice?

First off, 5 months is not that long of a time to get over someone you were in love with. It can take even years. But so far, you have not try your best to avoid contact with her. Even looking at her Facebook is contact because it will make you think about her, it will update you about her life. You have to completely cut her out of your life. Get rid of anything that will remind you of her. Keep yourself busy. A busy mind doesn't have time to think about stuff. Go and hang out with friends. Talk to girls you find attractive. And every time, you think of her just remind yourself, it's over and you want to move on... eventually you'll think of her less and less and once you meet someone new that you like, you'll not think of her at all.

[steviej]

Exactly as above.

Your thinking is regressive - looking back at what you had.
Stop that! You need to think forward - what are you doing later tonight/tomorrow/weekend etc make plans, think where you'll go who tou'll see what you'll do. Do not dwell on the past!
Delete her from your life, otherwise how can you move on if you don't allow yourself to let go.

[fivefootfour]

Cheers for that.

Does anyone have any advice how to move on and find and meet new people? I'm sure that meeting new girls will take my mind off her but I haven't had any major interaction with any girls since we broke up 5 months ago. Basically all my friends are mainly couples and settling down so it's hard to go on the pull when it's like that. I've never been a confident guy anyway but use to be a happier person unlike now. Do you have any advice how to approach girls and what to say?

[steviej]

There are websites/books dedicated to advice on how to meet/pick up girls, but try online dating, plenty of fish is free and it seems massively popular.

Starting up a new hobby or sport is a good way to meet new people, as well as give you something else to focus and think about.

[Bonfire]

Cheers for that.

Does anyone have any advice how to move on and find and meet new people? I'm sure that meeting new girls will take my mind off her...

I'm going to give you one of my biggest secrets to this, promise you will keep this to yourself. Get a part time job at a place that has plenty of hot chicks. Trust me, it's the best way to meet hot chicks and they won't think you are trying to pick them up if you are a co-worker. Sometimes people wonder why I am always with hot girls, that's my secret. lol And the best part is one of them will bound to like you.

[fivefootfour]

Yeh I looked into online dating and I was abit put off because I found someone who I know and works with my mum, and I've had a fling with her before, put me off abit. I don't know though, might be worth a try.

I woke up this morning after dreaming about her last night, and feel sick about the situation. In my mind I keep going over and thinking what I did wrong and did I do enough to get her back. I know it's wrong but the situation just haunts me. It's like I've done the bit that everyones told me to move on but I just haven't moved on.

[steviej]

Willpower is needed now. Soon as those thoughts enter your head banish them! Distract yourself.
The part time job is a great idea, i worked part time in a nightclub a few years ago, so easy to get chatting to girls that way! Was good fun.

[fivefootfour]

Yeh can see the logic in the part time job. I work in a very manly environment full time so time may be a proble
with time. I thought about doing a job at a music festival, my mate met his current girlfriend doing that.

I've tried that by thinking of something different but she just doesn't leave my mind and we did so much when we were together, some of my favourite places are now ruled by memories of her.

Have any of you ever tried internet dating or counselling?