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Thread: What do you think?

  1. #1
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    What do you think?

    How many times do you think a couple should hang out during the week in order to maintain a healthy relationship?
    Do you think the person should hang out more with their friends during the week than with their significant other or vice versa?

  2. #2
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    I think that you should split it up a bit. You hangout with your girls and him his guys, then you and your significant other hangout together. That way you and your significant other will not get tired of each other by spending too much time together.
    ~ Loving My Honey Bunch ~

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    as long as you maintain good communication through the week, I wouldnt worry about how many actual days you spend togeather. Sometimes you might get 3, one week might just be 1. What is important is that you guys are still TALKING.

  4. #4
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    It really depends on how comfortable you are with time together. If you are both a little needy, you might need more time together. If you are both independent individuals, you might need less time together during the week. What is most important is that you are both open about what you need from each other in the relationship and willing to listen and accept the other person's opinion as well.

    Good luck.
    Brought to you by Dating With Devon!

  5. #5
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    I used to think it's good to have some time apart so to have some breathing room and a chance to miss one another. But recently I have met the happiest couple and they told me that they haven't been separated since the first day they dated. They see each other everyday. They are happily married with kids for 12 yrs. They are really adorable. So there is no rules or guidelines when it come to how much time you spent with your significant other. Just follow what is comfortable for the both of you.

  6. #6
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    This depends so much on the type of relationship...

    Are you married or just getting to know each other?

    Have you advanced past the "honeymoon stage" (the first 5-7 months) or are you still in the midst of that love-dovey everything-is-perfect mode?

    Are you serious or just having fun?

    I think it increases the longer you've been together and the more you know about each other.

    In the "honeymoon stage" I mentioned above it's probably a good idea to be careful. Your emotions are powerful, you're still excited about all the wonderful qualities you're discovering in your significant other and your views on the relationship are likely to be unrealistic. It's a good idea to keep it to planned dates a few times a week, when you have free time. Make sure you don't give your significant other any preference over your friends and family, even though you're excited and happy spending time with them. It's also a good idea to make sure those dates end when they're planned to end. Spending too much time together can result in getting too serious too fast. Give yourself time to think clearly instead of having your head constantly cloudy from their presence and always part ways still wishing you could spend more time together. That yearning will give you appreciation for the time you spend together but still allow you time to keep your life from getting off-track.

    After the "honeymoon stage" is over, it's safe to start spending more time together, maybe talk about moving in with each other... whatever is comfortable for you. There is no set amount of time in which people should move in together, get married, ect, it depends on the couple and the type of relationship they have. Be willing to listen to what the other people around you think, it's often easier to see a relationship from the outside than when you're involved, but ultimately if it feels right to you at this point, then it's probably perfectly safe.
    Make yourself happy and don't focus on making your lover happy. Your lover will be happy to see you happy. Allow them to make them-self happy so you can be happy seeing them happy. If they are not happy seeing you happy, or you are not happy seeing them happy, then it's time to leave each other and find that happiness elsewhere. Life is too short to bother with any other emotion for longer than absolutely necessary.
    -Shela Aetherius

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonfire View Post
    I used to think it's good to have some time apart so to have some breathing room and a chance to miss one another. But recently I have met the happiest couple and they told me that they haven't been separated since the first day they dated. They see each other everyday. They are happily married with kids for 12 yrs. They are really adorable. So there is no rules or guidelines when it come to how much time you spent with your significant other. Just follow what is comfortable for the both of you.
    I think that's just amazing! It's so incredibly rare to find these sorts of couples, who manage to stay happily together their entire lives after their first chance meeting! It's good to know that the possibility is out there, but it's dangerous to expect it from your relationships, it's so easy to wind up unhappy in a relationship from getting too serious too fast because you were hoping so much to be like those perfect couples. It doesn't hurt to take your time, but super kudos to those couples out there who pull it off with minimal effort!
    Make yourself happy and don't focus on making your lover happy. Your lover will be happy to see you happy. Allow them to make them-self happy so you can be happy seeing them happy. If they are not happy seeing you happy, or you are not happy seeing them happy, then it's time to leave each other and find that happiness elsewhere. Life is too short to bother with any other emotion for longer than absolutely necessary.
    -Shela Aetherius

  8. #8
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    Thank you so much for your guys' input. My boyfriend and I are actually in a long term relationship and ever since his friend moved in with him, they've been hanging out a lot. My boyfriend isn't really one to come up with ideas and ask me out on dates (we are past the honeymoon stage), it's more along the lines of "it's up to you" or "whatever you want to do." I did tell him how I felt about that and it's going okay for now. We don't hang out everyday, maybe 2-3 times a week? He's always okay with it if I already made plans with my friends and if me and him aren't able to hang out. But it kind of worries me that let's say I keep rejecting to hang out with him (like I don't know, let's say for a month), and he still is okay with it. That makes me think he doesn't really care about our relationship.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by OhHowLovely View Post
    Thank you so much for your guys' input. My boyfriend and I are actually in a long term relationship and ever since his friend moved in with him, they've been hanging out a lot. My boyfriend isn't really one to come up with ideas and ask me out on dates (we are past the honeymoon stage), it's more along the lines of "it's up to you" or "whatever you want to do." I did tell him how I felt about that and it's going okay for now. We don't hang out everyday, maybe 2-3 times a week? He's always okay with it if I already made plans with my friends and if me and him aren't able to hang out. But it kind of worries me that let's say I keep rejecting to hang out with him (like I don't know, let's say for a month), and he still is okay with it. That makes me think he doesn't really care about our relationship.
    If you're in long-term relationship but you aren't living together yet, it seems like the relationship stagnated at some point. Well, depending on what you mean by long-term. I wouldn't want to move in with a woman that I had been dating for less than a year. But if we had been together for a few years, I think we should at least be living together or else wondering where the relationship is headed.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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