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[Confused_PR]

Hello,

For the record I am a 20 year old male and my girlfriend is 19. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 years now. A few weeks ago, everything was fine.. we were not fighting, just being our happy selves. Then, out of the blue one night, she asked for space. It has been about four weeks now and she still wants her time. Not only that, but we have broken up for the time being. As much as this hurt, I agreed to the break-up but I have found myself hurting every day. I went on other forums reading how people dealt with this and I realize now that this is more of a healthy situation then the way I am looking at it. I know she still loves me and I love her to death, but I feel so confused.

I do what she wants, be myself and be happy..but it's so hard to do when she is in the other room next to me. I do leave the house occasionally for food or what not and I still ask her if she wants anything while I'm out. I have lied to her in the past about certain things and she has told me that she doesn't want to be with me because of it. I feel so guilty and such a fool for doing what I did. I didn't cheat, but just lied about the obvious. I am giving her her time and I have seen that doing so has made her feel a little bit closer to me. I get a hug every now and then and it lights up my world, but I just miss her company.

I feel like this is my fault because we fought so much over the stupidest things which I started 99.9% of the time. We spent ALL of our time together and I think that was also a factor as to why she needed her space. I still find myself trying to pick a fight with her but I tell myself not to. I am disgusted with myself because I feel I am a different person than I was before. Over these past few weeks though, I know that I have found my old self again. I was always happy and laughing until I turned into such a .. well.. prick. I just want to know if I am going about this the right way? I don't want to lose her, she is my everything ... my better half for that matter! I just want the love of my life back.

- Confused_PR

[steviej]

Maybe suggest doing something together that would be fun and let her see the old you is back. Something that you know she'll enjoy, then give her a day or two for it to dwell on her mind and think about you, if it goes well suggest doing something else.
Can be something really simple, like bowling, going for a meal, cinema etc.

[Confused_PR]

Maybe suggest doing something together that would be fun and let her see the old you is back. Something that you know she'll enjoy, then give her a day or two for it to dwell on her mind and think about you, if it goes well suggest doing something else.
Can be something really simple, like bowling, going for a meal, cinema etc.

We went out last Friday to get some dinner together, but it was so awkward. She has really changed her personality and I am the type of guy who looks at a woman's personality rather than looks. It was hurtful to see her like that, she said she was fine .... but all I saw was anger and frustration in her eyes. I'm not the only problem in her life either, she is dealing with other issues at the same time. I did try asking her to go to the movies twice now and she just won't for whatever reason. I finally told myself that I am not going to text her as much as I used to and just let things be the way they are from now on. I really appreciate your advice and I will eventually try again.

[DarkHelmet82]

could she be on drugs?

[Confused_PR]

could she be on drugs?

No, I highly doubt that. This is the type of girl who you normally don't see anymore. She does not do any of those things and I know because she tells me. As I mentioned earlier, I am going to back off for a few days and just let things happen. I have a feeling she is starting to realize, but I too need to realize what I have now instead of worry about just myself. I gotta be there for her too and support what she wants instead of what 'I' want. Yes, I've been selfish....but this is exactly the brick in the face that I need.

[DarkHelmet82]

you are both young and young women get confused and their feelings make things all screwy.. give it time it will work out

[Cerby]

I have recently learned that if something is going well and then all of a sudden, a girl springs the "space" card on you, you're in real trouble. my ex as of this morning pulled the space card on me about a month ago, and although we still saw each other, it was less, and less, and less until finally we had a silent argument and it was over. And this was a young relationship, asking for space in a long term relationship can be even more devastating, it means that she is ready to look outside and see what else life has to offer other than you.

[Confused_PR]

you are both young and young women get confused and their feelings make things all screwy.. give it time it will work out

I agree 100% with you. We are young, we've been through a lot and she even told me herself she is confused. Thanks for that, I know for a fact it will work out.

[Confused_PR]

I have recently learned that if something is going well and then all of a sudden, a girl springs the "space" card on you, you're in real trouble. my ex as of this morning pulled the space card on me about a month ago, and although we still saw each other, it was less, and less, and less until finally we had a silent argument and it was over. And this was a young relationship, asking for space in a long term relationship can be even more devastating, it means that she is ready to look outside and see what else life has to offer other than you.

First off, I would like to say I am very sorry about you and your ex. Second, I know for a fact she is coming around. She is starting to talk to me and do things that she used to do a long time ago. Minor flirting here and there but still confusion at the same time. I know this is a good thing because it may not be perfect, but it is one step closer to fixing our relationship. I can say that I am ready all day, but I still don't feel ready...not because of her but of myself. I still love her, but I want to be 'IN LOVE' with her again. She feels the exact same way and that made me feel better. I don't see this as being over for good because we are both getting closer to each other again one inch at a time.

I am young and I learned to love at a very young age. I don't know everything and I have a lot to learn. But from what I know now, I will continue to learn what I have to until I am a more mature individual.

I also would like to thank each and every one of you for reading. I don't have many people to talk to about this and this has really helped me get things off of my chest.

[Confused_PR]

Alright, I know about two times now I had mentioned that I was going to stay away for a few days. I still am, but tonight I did something I didn't think I would do. I made dinner, spaghetti and meatballs. Never cooked a day in my life. I waited for her to come home after work and I was excited to show her. She was a little shocked that I cooked (haha). Anyways, what was weird to me was that she made a good sized bowl to eat and she ate just about all of it. I brought home KFC the other day (Sunday) and she maybe took but a few bites. I don't know why, I just kind of felt good that she ate (all) of her plate. Especially since it was my first time doing it.

My question(s) to you:
You think this is a good sign?
Did I make the right choice here?

[steviej]

Showing some independence, self confidence and making nice but not over the top gestures will help. She doesn't want someone to be pining pathetically after her.
Cooking a meal is always a good thing! Keep up the self improvement, it'll have good consequences.

[Confused_PR]

Showing some independence, self confidence and making nice but not over the top gestures will help. She doesn't want someone to be pining pathetically after her.
Cooking a meal is always a good thing! Keep up the self improvement, it'll have good consequences.

I have been doing the independent thing, self confidence I feel has improved...though I will admit sometimes at night I think about the hurt. I do small gestures here and there but nothing over the top. I get what you mean, I told myself not to be on her tail everywhere she goes. So I don't do any of that. Good! She even told me yesterday that it was really good and she even went for thirds! Haha, I feel good about that...I will definitely keep up the improvement because I am already seeing (some) good consequences.

Thanks again for reading.

[Confused_PR]

Today, I left the house to get out for a while.. I left again for a few minutes around 6 P.M. and came back at 7 P.M. I went to say hello and how was the rest of your day and she looked as if she was angry with me. I didn't text her all day, do you think this was a bad idea? I just wanted to give her her space. I felt like I have been texting her way too much and I just took a day break over it. I feel horrible, I want to ask her what is wrong but I don't think she will answer me.

[steviej]

Without good communication, you won't know! We'd just be guessing and speculating what her problem is.
If you said hello and were being given funny looks ask her what's wrong (nicely, not in a confrontation way!)

[Confused_PR]

Without good communication, you won't know! We'd just be guessing and speculating what her problem is.
If you said hello and were being given funny looks ask her what's wrong (nicely, not in a confrontation way!)

Yesterday I confronted her about a few things. I think it was the best thing to do. As of now, I'm not feeling any pain anymore. My appetite is coming back and I'm just being me. It feels good now and I still know it will get better.