Why do guys want to be friends with thier ex girlfriends

[SarahA]

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago and insisted we remain friends despite us having a long relationship/so much history. Now he is with someone else!!

Why did he keep asking to be friends with me? IM SO CONFUSED!

[98db]

Friend with benefits. I think the exception to this would be if you were friends before you started dating.

[bubabalo]

My ex did the same and I also can't understand. After thinking about it I realized that it can be for a lot of diferent reasons and sometimes their reasons aren't that inocent as we think.

1- He isn't ready to let you go completaly. He is using the contact and friendship as cushion to forget you or control you.

2- He is stringing you along, giving you false hope because this makes him feel good about himself. Knowing that there is someone in love with him, that cares about him is good for his ego.

3- To string you along, give you hope in case they might change their mind about the break up.

4- Because he is feeling guilty to make you suffer. He likes you as a person and he doesn't want you to suffer. He might think being in touch with you is going to make you suffer less.

5- He doesn't love you and it doesn't matter being in contact with you or not. He is totally over you and keep in touch with you or not doesn't matter for him.

6- He misses you sometimes because he was used to you companionship but he doesn't love you.

I think it can be any of those reasons, sometimes a combination of 2 or more but he won't tell you or if he does you will always doubt because it isn't normal being close friends just after the breakup. After a while it's okay, when you both are over each other but just after the break up it isn't good, normal or a good idea. That's why you ask yourself what are his reasons.

[courtney90]

my guess would be is he wants to keep you as a back up if things don't work out with him and his new girl...so my advice to you unless you want to get back with him would be to just leave him behind and move on yourself. the quicker you quit "being his friend" the quicker you will realize how much better off you are without him.

[deathheart17]

There is no good reason for that, guys don't go and say "hi i screwed you over, i wna be friends!" they normally just screw you over and go

[imagineallthe]

my ex insists on being friends and we are way better friends than we were a couple, haha we really didn't match even though we loved each other. but now it's been two years and he still calls on occasion just to hear my voice and tells me he misses me. i wondered if he ever thought about us getting back together, since he keeps missing me, but he said that "i'll always love you but we're no good in a relationship. it makes me scared cause i dont know if those feelings will ever go away, there's no outlet". so even HIM, and he is a best friend to me, still talks romantically and kindly to me. and now he has a girl who likes him but he won't do anything cause he can't let go.

to sum up... my experience is that guys normally makes it kinda complicated when they want to stay friends with their ex. im over him and love having him as a friend, but he really doesn't see it that way. even when we hug, he texts me and says he really missed hugging me :s i don't know if its in their brainly construct to keep a purely friendly-based relationship with an ex.

[Kaius]

Guys dont want to be friends with ex unless they want the occasional sex. Other than that, there is no incentive to remain friends.

[bubabalo]

my guess would be is he wants to keep you as a back up if things don't work out with him and his new girl...so my advice to you unless you want to get back with him would be to just leave him behind and move on yourself. the quicker you quit "being his friend" the quicker you will realize how much better off you are without him.

courtney90 if he wants to keep her as a back up if things don't work out with him and his new girfriend that is what I said in the # 3 of my list. This can be his reason for sure and I agree with you she should quick quit this and move on because his reasons are obvious very selfish. If things do not work out with his new girl and they get back together he will leave her again as soon as he find someone else.

[bubabalo]

There is no good reason for that, guys don't go and say "hi i screwed you over, i wna be friends!" they normally just screw you over and go

deathheart, well there are good reasons fo HIM but I think there are no good reasons for HER.

I agree with you, the NORMAL behavior is break up and not talk to the ex until the love is gone. Maybe, one day, after a good amount of time the friendship can work. There is no way to be friends when one still love the other and the other doesn't. If the guy wants to be friends there is something WRONG.

[bubabalo]

Friend with benefits. I think the exception to this would be if you were friends before you started dating.

Yes, I agree with the FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. The guy might think he can get sex since the ex is still in love. But this is very WRONG and disonest because he know the girl is still in love and would do anything to have the guy back. He is just taking an advantage of the situation.

[bubabalo]

my ex insists on being friends and we are way better friends than we were a couple, haha we really didn't match even though we loved each other. but now it's been two years and he still calls on occasion just to hear my voice and tells me he misses me. i wondered if he ever thought about us getting back together, since he keeps missing me, but he said that "i'll always love you but we're no good in a relationship. it makes me scared cause i dont know if those feelings will ever go away, there's no outlet". so even HIM, and he is a best friend to me, still talks romantically and kindly to me. and now he has a girl who likes him but he won't do anything cause he can't let go.

to sum up... my experience is that guys normally makes it kinda complicated when they want to stay friends with their ex. im over him and love having him as a friend, but he really doesn't see it that way. even when we hug, he texts me and says he really missed hugging me :s i don't know if its in their brainly construct to keep a purely friendly-based relationship with an ex.

imaginealthe Two years and he is still talking about your past relationshiop????? That's a very weird situation. Who break up with who? You did or he did?

[bubabalo]

Guys dont want to be friends with ex unless they want the occasional sex. Other than that, there is no incentive to remain friends.

Kaius not always this is the only reason. Read the list I put above. Sometimes they want to remain friends for other reason. The problem sometimes is figure out the reason because he won't tell you.

[puzzluzz]

they want sex from others

[Betterthanbella]

they want sex from others

Don't listen to what this person says, they've posted that same exact message in 3 other posts including mine and it has nothing to do with sex.... It's called "How to give a guy your phone number"

[Love&Life]

"Kaius not always this is the only reason. Read the list I put above. Sometimes they want to remain friends for other reason. The problem sometimes is figure out the reason because he won't tell you."

I so hate hidden agendas... I wished honesty and sincerity were trendy... ;-)