Has our best friend Escaped your friend zone?

[Schimch]

Hey everyone, first time poster here, I've turned to online forums as a last resort because I'm really not sure what to do.

To start with im 16, And there's this girl that I started being friends with around 2 years ago and I started liking her not long after. We have only really become real close friends in the past two months.

A bit about me first. Ive never had a girlfriend. She always tells me I'm hilarious so I'm funny by that respect. We get along really well spend a lot of time together, that's not the problem. The problem is that I have confidence issues with serious girl issues like this. For example a simple thing like to hug a friend never happens. I just can't bring myself to go for it. Also even complementing her is a stretch and only something I recently started to mildly do.

A bit about her. She lacks self confidence but is beautiful. She is different to everyone else and thinks this is a bad thing by I love it. In short I love everything about her. But she doesn't see me the way I see her. I got one of my friends to ask her best friend who she likes and atthe moment it is no one. So the door is open.

So what I'm asking all you kind people is for any advice on how to improve my situation in which I find myself well and truly entrenched in the friend zone. Has it happened to you? How did they escape it and anything else you can think of.

Any help is greatly appreciated

[smackie9]

Tip: never be friends with girls you want to get with. Second: there is no other way but to be confident when it comes to girls. You will just have to throw caution into the wind and actually ask girls out. In other words there isn't a magical solution to having to avoid confrontation or growing some balls. Just ask her out on a date, if she says no, oh well, just go ask someone else. That is just the way it is.

[AirbenderAang]

confess your feelings for the girl. If she says that she kind of likes you, then take advantage of it. Ask her out on a romantic date. That or just start making out with her(bonus points if that works). If she responds that she is not into you like that, then distance yourself from the girl.

Then after distancing yourself, be happy That is the best route available for getting out of the friendzone. If she doesn't like you already, she may start deciding that she did. Of course going through with this line of attack, ends the friendship for better or worse.

[bloodtippedrose]

Tip: never be friends with girls you want to get with.

What? Why? I had a group of amazing friends when I was 16 and I dated one of them and even though it didnt work out we went right back to being awesome friends, same with my other friends who dated in our group. We already knew how much we had in common and what the other person was about. The only time I suggest not dating in the group of friends is if the friends are jealous sorts that have also been crushing on the same person.

The problem is that I have confidence issues with serious girl issues like this.

Your 'confidence issues' are normal due to lack of experience. Making a move is nerve-racking and embarrassing for EVERYONE when they've never had a gf before. Im a chick but what I did when I wanted to date a guy in our group was gather all my courage and ask him on a date to a school dance. then after the dance we were watching tv at a friends house and I laid on him and that was enough evidence for him to ask me out. He did over the internet and I told him that was pathetic and to ask me in person.

What you should do is single her out a little bit outside of school such as talking to her on IM or asking her to keep you company at burger king or somewhere not intimating. Do it a few times and if you feel shes pretty comfortable around you and has a good time then make your move and ask her if she'd like to be your gf. Worst case scenario is she lets you down easy and its awkward around her and your friends for a few days, but you'll seriously never know if you don't take a chance.

Two of my guy friends had crushes on me through high-school and they didnt tell me until AFTER we graduated and I was dating someone long term. They would have had a chance if they had just asked, but since I had no clue they're left with regret! Dont be one of those guys -_- Youll be very upset if someone asks her out before you get a chance.

[HeartIsAching]

I'm going to give you a couple of pieces of advice that my dad gave me when I was about your age... maybe a tad younger:

1. You can't get the girl if you don't ask.

2. What's the worst she can do if you do ask? Say no? The rewards outweigh the risks.

[Schimch]

Ok thanks for the advice guys just a few things, its not the actual askin her out I'm afraid of I'd be willing to do that any day, its more the fact that I know she doesn't like anyone and I would like to really step it up a notch before I ask her out because I'm not really shown her how I feel about her.

Also to bloodtippedrose we go out most lunch times for coffee and she always enjoys herself there. Could I use this to my advantage?

[smackie9]

What? Why? I had a group of amazing friends when I was 16 and I dated one of them and even though it didnt work out we went right back to being awesome friends, same with my other friends who dated in our group. We already knew how much we had in common and what the other person was about. The only time I suggest not dating in the group of friends is if the friends are jealous sorts that have also been crushing on the same person.




Your 'confidence issues' are normal due to lack of experience. Making a move is nerve-racking and embarrassing for EVERYONE when they've never had a gf before. Im a chick but what I did when I wanted to date a guy in our group was gather all my courage and ask him on a date to a school dance. then after the dance we were watching tv at a friends house and I laid on him and that was enough evidence for him to ask me out. He did over the internet and I told him that was pathetic and to ask me in person.

What you should do is single her out a little bit outside of school such as talking to her on IM or asking her to keep you company at burger king or somewhere not intimating. Do it a few times and if you feel shes pretty comfortable around you and has a good time then make your move and ask her if she'd like to be your gf. Worst case scenario is she lets you down easy and its awkward around her and your friends for a few days, but you'll seriously never know if you don't take a chance.

Two of my guy friends had crushes on me through high-school and they didnt tell me until AFTER we graduated and I was dating someone long term. They would have had a chance if they had just asked, but since I had no clue they're left with regret! Dont be one of those guys -_- Youll be very upset if someone asks her out before you get a chance.

Girl you are not a guy so you don't have a clue what lonely shy guys go through. They get friend zoned because they are wimpy ass suck ups that have no balls and of course that does not attract girls sexually. It attracts girls emotionally, because they eagerly dish out the attention girls crave in hopes to be liked. You were in a GROUP of friends which is so totally different. Most of these friend zoned guys are loners or lack a life of any kind so they cling onto a girl hopelessly til they crash and burn.

[smackie9]

Ok thanks for the advice guys just a few things, its not the actual askin her out I'm afraid of I'd be willing to do that any day, its more the fact that I know she doesn't like anyone and I would like to really step it up a notch before I ask her out because I'm not really shown her how I feel about her.

Also to bloodtippedrose we go out most lunch times for coffee and she always enjoys herself there. Could I use this to my advantage?

Dude don't tell her you have feels for her...you will look weak. Show no emotion and ask her out. We don't know if you have a f uckin chance, only you will know if you ask that damn girl out on a date.

[Schimch]

Smackie 9 I see what your saying but yeah I'm honestly not the no life loner guy (trust me) I just see everything right with this girl and as you said ATM she is emotionally attracted to me not sexually. So question is, how should I go about changing this?

[smackie9]

Smackie 9 I see what your saying but yeah I'm honestly not the no life loner guy (trust me) I just see everything right with this girl and as you said ATM she is emotionally attracted to me not sexually. So question is, how should I go about changing this?

Ignore the crap out of her....be kool and somewhat distant. Make her make contact with you, don't respond right away or forget to call back on purpose....in other words be a jerk. Before you know it she will be eating out of your hand. Girls want challenge, they want to see strength, and they don't want to see emotion. Be a cold hearted bastard.

[Klim]

Ignore the crap out of her....be kool and somewhat distant. Make her make contact with you, don't respond right away or forget to call back on purpose....in other words be a jerk. Before you know it she will be eating out of your hand. Girls want challenge, they want to see strength, and they don't want to see emotion. Be a cold hearted bastard.

Tip: Don't be a cold-hearted bastard.

Girls date guys that are jerks. In high school, that's how it works. And they nice guys try to be jerks just for the girls. Once past high school, don't do that. Hell, when you're in high school, don't do that. You'll have a terrible time trying to explain "so, yeah, I change myself just to get with someone I have minor feelings for" to a future girlfriend.

Girls are actually interested in guys who tend to show feelings for them. Those guys would be classified as nice, calm, and/or caring. One who ignores someone just to make them beg for a date will not be successful in this situation.

However, you shouldn't seem desperate. Don't be the opposite of Smackie9's examples, but don't follow them exactly.

[alone&lost]

Dude, I was friend zoned a couple of times(or so I thought). She may have said that she doesn't like anybody, but that could be because she's shy or as you said has low self-esteam. You just gott build up the courage to ask her on a date. Let her know how you feel about her one time when y'all are getting coffee. The worst that could happens is she might not feel the same. In that case, just play it cool and just be friends with her. Don't be a jerk to girls, the only girls that like that stuff are jerks themselves. Be you, and go for it.

Tip: pay for her coffee on the day you plan to talk to her, sit next to her, not accross from her, and if it goes well, hold her hand on the way out.

Good Luck bud!

[smackie9]

Ya have to be cold hearted to make sure you don't get friend zoned. Yes girls want to see some emotion but not until you are far along in a steady relationship with them.

[alone&lost]

I disagree with you smackie, at I've never met a 16 year old girl that wanted to be ignored or treated like trash.

[bloodtippedrose]

yeah be cold-hearted to girls and see how many you pick up HA! Good luck with that. I can't believe the advice I'm reading in this thread.

Girl you are not a guy so you don't have a clue what lonely shy guys go through

if you havent noticed this is the Ask a Female portion of LF so dont act so surprised when a female gives her side of opinions