Most Complicated Situation

[d00y00]

Ok, so me and my girlfriend split up a few days ago. I am 17 and she is 18, and we have been the together for around 2.5 years. We were each others first proper girlfriend/boyfriend and first proper love. We are so so close, closer than most people are age. We grew up together, and have been best friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend. We have done so much together, and i have never been so close to someone, we tell each other absolutely everything and have been there through a lot of bad times in each others life. I guess the people we are today is a massive result of each other. So anyway, in the last few months we just found ourselves arguing so much. When it was good it was great, but it seemed like however hard we tried we just had tons of really serious arguments. We finally decided to break it off, but were both so upset and lonely instantly. It was like a massive part of our lives just dissapeared. We ended it on the best possible note and the next day we met up and had the nicest evening, just got on so well, but were both so sad. A few days after, we spent the night together and were intimate, and we both loved it, but are just so worried that its bad and its going to make things harder. We are so confused as to where we stand with each other. We still want to kiss and hug and still see each other all the time (we are in the same friendship group), but then we know that were not in a relationship, so we are so confused. We dont want to get back together because it would defeat the point of breaking up, because things just werent right when we did. But it seems as though when were not in a relationship we just suddenly got on so well and are feeling so sad and lonely like we have lost one another. We are now at a point where we just dont know where we stand or what to do. We know getting back in a relationship now would be silly, because we think it would just end up how it was. But at the same time we love each other to bits, and cant help it. Another problem is that we are each others first love, so im not sure whether that would prevent us from ever staying together, because i worry we would naturally want to explore. I just dont know what to do and feel so confused. We dont want to give each other space because we feel like were throwing something away and we mean so much to each other, but at the same time getting back into a relationship would probably not be a good idea for either of us. Please help

[Bonfire]

Your situation takes me back in time when I was with my first love. We also grew up together and were bestfriends before we were boyfriend and girlfriend. When we were in love, I really thought we were going to stay together forever. But it did not happen. All the history together did not mean anything when people change and look for someone new and exciting. We grew apart. She met another guy. I move on also after being heartbroken. Looking back, my first love did not compare to the new love I encounter later in life. The purity of the first love is unmatched however. You are still growing up so lots of things will change and you two will change. It's rare that people stay with their first love. So what advice can I offer you? Just accept this as part of your childhood. It's going to be a transition phase into adulthood. You guys will undoubtedly go your separate ways. Just prepare for that. It doesn't mean you two will not get back together, it is rare but I have heard people going back with their first love later in life. I personally wouldn't. We are too different now.

[devonbrown]

Bonfire's advice is really spot on. My advice is just this: Accept this for what it is and enjoy it. Even the sadness. Realize that these are the pains of losing a first love. These are the feelings you have for someone you care for deeply. You love her and she loves you but you both are working towards your own lives, not one combined life. If you are "meant to be" or something like that, then it will happen eventually. There is no need to get back together at this point if that is the case. But also don't stop yourselves from living your lives, from meeting new people, from growing and expanding your horizons. The days go on.

Good luck.