Messages....

[TheBigMan86]

Hi,

I have been broken up with my fiance for about 7 weeks now, over the last week we have been sending alot of messages to each other, jsut general chat etc etc, I asked her a couple of times to meet up and she declined saying she didnt think it was a good idea...

Should I stop responding/sending her messages or continue in the hope that she will change her mind???

I think NC for a couple of weeks then ask again might be the best course of action?

Ideas anyone!

[xxazurexx]

Whether you continue to reply or not, won't change a thing and if her heart is not in a relationship with you anymore.

If you can't deal with just being a friend, let her know you can't and the reason why - then go no contact

[steviej]

What has happened during those 7 weeks? What caused the breakup? How long were you together?

Need as much info as possible really to give you any worthwhile advice!

[TheBigMan86]

OK... I have previous posts on here but a quick breakdown!

We were together 7 years... She broke up because she thought she didnt love me anymore out of the blue (Had just bought a new house 2 months prior..), I have been making a fool of myself for the most of the 7 weeks, drunken calls, gifts, begging etc etc, I calmed down and we have started talking again, still doesent seem like her heart is in it to me, but it must be progress, i dont want to fall into being just a friend though as I couldnt take that....

[steviej]

Oh yeah I remember now!

I'd have to echo azures advice really, it's a very sh1t situation you're in

[TheBigMan86]

yeah.... I think I will just wait for her to contact me and keep the replies short and to the point as much as it will kill me!!!

[robFord]

I have to agree with azure's advice. 7 years is a long time and the healing process is going to be even longer. Make it clear to her that you're hurt and how hard it's going to be and with her still in your life. If she's still talking to you, she has to know the pain she's causing and choosing to message you anyways. That's just straight up selfish. With all the fresh emotions, there's no way you can win her back without you getting hurt all over again. If she's not into the relationship, she needs to explore her life without you before she can even consider thinking about being with you again. Sorry dude.

[xxazurexx]

I think it would be best to make a clean break, but as I said, let her know why. You 'clearly' still are in love with her and I've been in your shoes and it's hard to stay friends with an ex you have feelings for.

What makes people hang on in situations like this, is a 'hope' that they will have a change of heart. But they rarely do....

And as time goes by and she still doesn't show any sign of returning, you will start to resent her and the friendship and that can lead to all sorts of crap, arguments, fights, etc, etc.

I wouldn't do friends with an ex again, put it that way. You are best off cutting them off and out and try to move on.

Keep BUSY all the time.

[TheBigMan86]

Its just hard to accept

All my friends are hers etc and when I go out its to the same places, going to have to change my life completley move away and all that.... Just sick of it all!

[steviej]

It must be incredibly hard what you're going through. Are your friends helping at all? Don't be afraid to lean on them for support, if they are worth their salt as friends they will help you through it.
I imagine after 7 years together your lives are very intertwined and seperating them back out is going to be a challenge! Try and see the new opportunities this will open up for you, it might not sound much of a positive at first, but you will suddenly find yourself with a freedom to go anywhere and try anything, use it!

And of course, keep posting on here, i found it helped