My story.

[EmptyInside]

Hello everyone.

Thanks for taking time to read this. I just joined the forum.
So my ex and I were together for like almost 2 years, it all went well. We had our connection we spent alot of time talking and dreaming about what we should do next. It was the best time of my life. We had a break up aswell in this two years, because of me being too pushy on her and demanding stuff. Later on we got back together and I menaged to control myself.
Lately, we didn't communicate as much as we did before, I was denied most of the times when wanting to do something with her. We broke up last Tuesday, and ever since I miss her so f***ing much and she means the world to me. Untill now we only spoke through SMS's and MSN briefly, general stuff, cracking jokes and so on. On saturday, we met and laughed and I was trying to flirt gently with her, but suddenly after an hour she went away. She said that she misses me and she thinks about me "a bit". I tried to talk her down camly, but all I get is "I don't want to continue/try anymore". I expressed my feelings to her on Sunday, through sms's and MSN, and but seemed so cold towards me. Last night after she spoke to me, I tried to call her but no success. So I just sms'd her "Good night. I know that whatever I say, can't melt your cold hearth" And went to sleep.
Today she was on my mind all the time, I didn't even feel like getting up in the morning.. I miss her so damn much.

I also asked her that how can we just be friends after all we had. And she said "Yep, we're just friends, nothing more"
It's killing me to let her go, and even now I feel like SMSing her, talking to her.. anything :|

Thanks.

Anyone..?

[BeingAlpha]

Hello everyone.

Thanks for taking time to read this. I just joined the forum.
So my ex and I were together for like almost 2 years, it all went well. We had our connection we spent alot of time talking and dreaming about what we should do next. It was the best time of my life. We had a break up aswell in this two years, because of me being too pushy on her and demanding stuff. Later on we got back together and I menaged to control myself.
Lately, we didn't communicate as much as we did before, I was denied most of the times when wanting to do something with her. We broke up last Tuesday, and ever since I miss her so f***ing much and she means the world to me. Untill now we only spoke through SMS's and MSN briefly, general stuff, cracking jokes and so on. On saturday, we met and laughed and I was trying to flirt gently with her, but suddenly after an hour she went away. She said that she misses me and she thinks about me "a bit". I tried to talk her down camly, but all I get is "I don't want to continue/try anymore". I expressed my feelings to her on Sunday, through sms's and MSN, and but seemed so cold towards me. Last night after she spoke to me, I tried to call her but no success. So I just sms'd her "Good night. I know that whatever I say, can't melt your cold hearth" And went to sleep.
Today she was on my mind all the time, I didn't even feel like getting up in the morning.. I miss her so damn much.

I also asked her that how can we just be friends after all we had. And she said "Yep, we're just friends, nothing more"
It's killing me to let her go, and even now I feel like SMSing her, talking to her.. anything :|

Thanks.

Anyone..?

You can't talk her out of something she doesn't feel. She has decided (at least for now) that she doesn't want to try anymore..you could TRY all kinds of things -- but they will mostly just get annoying. Love is not something you can reason over..it is or it isn't.

For me - the point where i decided that I was done talking to my ex or trying to get my ex back was the moment I sat down -- went through our relationship in my head - was completely honest about everything and realized that it wasn't really that great. Yes it was good -- but was it great? -- No. We did no contact for a while -- then hung out here and there -- then no contact -- then met up -- it was a disaster and just prolonged the healing process for both of us. The final time I said goodbye was the hardest but in my mind (partially because of a "yeah I don't believe you are truly gone" type statement from her - never challenge me haha, and mostly because I made her a promise that I would never contact her again - a man of my word) -- was the most empowering. Finally I was able to regain control -- its not to say I don't think about her -- but I can actually hold it together, I can actually not see her and be okay. Not great -- but okay.

You need to give her some space -- this is not about playing games, making her think you are really gone etc.. but because you need to heal. If you keep picking at the wound it will never heal -- you think this was a spur of the moment decision for her -- its not -- shes been thinking this for MONTHS...and probably each month gotten just a little bit closer to saying it until she finally decided she was done, the relationship had run the course etc..

You can sit there an analyze the hell out of everything you did wrong or right but none of it can be undone .. so why? If you did something wrong -- send her a note and apologize and then either sit and wait or heal and move on. Who knows what life will offer you, who knows that person or whether or not she will cross your path again...can't think about that though.

Good luck -- and we ALL know how you feel.

[EmptyInside]

Thank for your post, BeingAlpha. I actually sat down and read your post a few times, to fully understand it. I have been a walking wreck all this time since we broke up. My friends tried to cheer me up at school, but after few hours, my mind just flies to her and I get my my mind filled with "good" memories of her.
I know that we might never get back together, as she simply told me she doesn't want to give me another shot. It's killing me slowly, cause of what I feel for her... 2 years isn't short.. I basically changed my life style to be with her..

UPDATE:
We had what I think, our last talk. She said she doesn't miss me at all, and that she doens't think about us anymore.
Oh well, I guess it was it....:|
EDIT 2:
It's so hard to accept it but I know I have to.

[EmptyInside]

Accepting that we broke up actually sort of "freed" me. I feel much better now and surprisingly I don't miss her that much. Plus my ex before curent one, started to talk with me out of the blue.

[BeingAlpha]

Good for you -- your emotions will go up and down up and down like a yo yo for a few months to come. Don't think that this is over -- it will be a very long healing process. Just know that you should take as long as you need to despite what your friends say. Your friends will definitely get tired of telling you over and over that you are better off; but in reality you are. You do not want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be with you...that is a relationship built on guilt or duty. It won't be beneficial for either of you. I know its hard but if someone wants to go -- you gotta let them go.

Hang in.

[ashley89]

it's so hard, I know. accepting that it's over is the first start to healing. and no contact is definitely important... it will only prolong the pain and prevent you from getting over her. I'm going through the same thing now, it's been a couple months but I am still on the road to recovering and I know that the ups and downs suck! I felt shitty, then fine, then bad again... it's a rollercoaster ride, but it gets better with each day =)

[EmptyInside]

Update.
Thanks guys.
Last night she sms'd me that she's tired and wished me good night. I said good night and went to sleep. Today while I was getting along pretty well with my friends at poker. I get a message saying that she is at school and that she had a bad dream and it was scary. And that she said that : "we can talk if things are not like yesterday. I replied with Okay. I feel like she is playing with me, meh.

[EmptyInside]

Now I just feel like shit when I came home.. everything just broke in me again. :|

[BeingAlpha]

Its because you are picking at the wound -- don't let her toy with you. She isn't doing it on purpose but she is not un-affected by this breakup. She is...I promise.

She is giving you crumbs -- its a term from another site... like bread crumbs leading her back. Or table scraps to keep you by the table -- don't let her. Unless she flat out aggressively chases you and wants to get back together -- she doesn't mean it.

[EmptyInside]

We ended for good tonight. I found out something which I never wanted to. But she seems to have backstab me for like 6 months I told her we could still be friends, it's hearth breaking but after seeing what happened. I woke up. I love her and I will stop.
Thank you all for your great support.

[EmptyInside]

Small update. (Meh I hate myself )

So today, we talked normaly (hi, what'sup etc) and I asked her what made her fall in love with me. She said my personality. So later I sms'd her.
Me: "Well, if you still like me. Why don't we try and work things out slowly..I still love you"
She: "I do like you, but I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone for now. I'm sorry but you need to let me go and understand me. It doesn't feel good if you keep asking all the time"

I never replied.

I still love her madly, but I feel like I'm hitting a thick wall.
What do you think ?

[DarkHelmet82]

she said: "i dont want to be in a relationship with anyone".. what this translates into real english is : "i dont want to be in a relationship with YOU.. if that person comes along than great."

[EmptyInside]

I see. Thanks for your post, mate. I just feel like I ran out of options here. I tried alot to show her I want her back and that I love her. I'm thinking maybe I should stop doing it at all. And see if she reaches out.

[EmptyInside]

Update.
Today me and my ex bumped into eachother, chit-chatting, and I asked why she's laughing so much. And she said that she has a crush on this guy. I just felt it coming so yeah, I know who the guy is. How is it possible that in just 2 weeks she's already going for someone else ? While were dating for 2 years.
It's just killing me inside...

[oneandonly]

My guess is that she had her eye on this guy for quite a while.

You did all you could and wanted, to try to get back with her. She doesn't want you. Period.

As much as it's hard to accept, the sooner you do the quicker you are on a road to healing and a new chapter of your life. The one you had with her is closed. It's hard. That's why you need to make a conscious effort. Conscious effort to cut her off from your life.