Is being FWB ever a good idea?

[naoki322]

Not really sure how to ask this, so I guess I'll go along as i type. I used to date this girl, It ended pretty badly but we somehow managed to remain close friends.

About 2 years pass, and she moved back home and started dating her ex. That apparently didn't work out as I found out recently. We started flirting on the phone and text messages. She's going to visit me in a few months from now. Sex.. definitely seems like it's going to be part of the plan. I'm sure she doesn't want to get involved in a relationship and I'm neutral about it.

However I find her incredibly attractive, so the temptation is there. But I've never slept with someone that I'm not in a relationship with. Is it right of me to sleep with her? Especially when she just got out of the relationship with her ex, or ex ex now in this case.

[Ric]

Yes, but both your beneficial friend and you have to be in the right mindset.

If there are too much feelings in the way it's not a smart move as you'd want more and things would get complicated.
Her just being out of a relationship will also complicate things. Though it's possible both of you can benefit from this, it is quite risky in your case.

[MerryH]

I'm sure she doesn't want to get involved in a relationship and I'm neutral about it.

Neutral about it. Ha. How romantic. You should probably decide one way or another if you would want a relationship or not. If you're going to do the FWB thing, it works best if both people are up front and honest about what they want. But she's just going to be visiting you, right? So it won't really be a FWB thing unless you're actually friends who see each other on a regular basis.

Why would you think it's wrong to sleep with her?

[naoki322]

Neutral about it. Ha. How romantic. You should probably decide one way or another if you would want a relationship or not. If you're going to do the FWB thing, it works best if both people are up front and honest about what they want. But she's just going to be visiting you, right? So it won't really be a FWB thing unless you're actually friends who see each other on a regular basis.

Why would you think it's wrong to sleep with her?

You're right, I should decide on it. I think the issue I have is that she just got out of a relationship and it seems like I'm taking advantage of that to sleep with her. I would have no qualms about it she was long term single. I don't know.

[MerryH]

I think the issue I have is that she just got out of a relationship and it seems like I'm taking advantage of that to sleep with her.

If she clearly wants it, you're not taking advantage. Give her her rebound fling. Have fun.

[vertical_sky]

Generally I'm against longtime FWB, but a one time deal if handled maturely can be enjoyable and a release for all parties.
I also agree with Merry, if she wants a rebound and is mature enough to not try to turn it into a romantic relationship, have fun. Just make sure you guys are on the same page before hand and that all the expectations are clear.

[Regnent]

Is it right? Only you can answer that.

As to can it work? By all means, if both parties know and accept it's just adults having sex for fun/pleasure.