Girlfriends Sexual Past... does it matter?

[muffinman15]

Hello, this is my first post and probably my last since I don't ask for help/advice much. However, i just got into a big argument with a girlfriend I've been seeing for 8 months now. Its gotten very serious and we're already arranging to move in together. Our argument was about her sexual past. We've had the talk before and she told me that she's slept with 10 guys and sucked about 30 other guys. She is 25. However, I wasn't so sure if she even knew her real number so tonight I asked various questions about her past to see if i could uncover a more accurate number. After some probing she spilled that's more like 50 but that she's for sure only slept with 10 guys (which i believe). However, this is a lot to me. Its just hard to kiss her knowing that 50 different dicks have been in her mouth. I did some math and it comes to roughly 2 guys a month for 3 years straight (since shes had a boyfriend during the other years). To me that's the definition of a slut. I asked her how she would meet these guys, and almost none of them we're anything serious. She wouldn't require to be taken out to dinner, or anything. Most would just be one night stands or maybe a hook up for 2-3 weeks and then she said it would be over and a week or two would go by and she would meet another guy while out at a bar.

I've only slept with 10 girls but did everything but with maybe 20 total. Am i wrong to hold her past against her. She says she doesnt want that and now that she looks back at it she is ashamed. However, this is a girl i want to commit to and see a future with but her choices and lifestyle in the past is discouraging. I KNOW she wont cheat on me and can tell she is deeply in love with me. I'm not naive, her friends and family have told me how ridiculously in love with me she is. But how do I ever kiss her again knowing how many have been there before.

Am I mistaken or is this a common number?

I've never really asked women before so I don't want to leave her just to find out that at 25 most women have this kind of sexual history.

Any advice would be more than appreciated.


-Thanks "the muffin man"

[Spring Haze]

So as long as your girlfriend comes in or under the numbers provided by complete strangers that may or may not be female, then she's a keeper?

[MerryH]

Oh hey, it's another thread where a guy is saying, "Oh no, I asked a lot of invasive questions about my girl's sexual past and now I can't deal with it!"

Protip: Don't ask those questions unless you're prepared to hear things you might not want to hear.

Her "number" is probably higher than average, but how does that change your relationship? You like her, she likes you. You're not worried about her cheating on you or anything like that, so...it sounds pretty good.

I personally think you're being silly. You've been kissing her for the past 8 months. She's not a different person now that you know more details.

She wouldn't require to be taken out to dinner, or anything.

This sort of bothered me. As if the only legitimate BJ is one given only after the girl is taken out to dinner. OMG how dare she give BJs for pleasure and get nothing in return! Slut.

Anyway, if you can't get over it, then just break up with her.

[muffinman15]

Its to get a bearing of the norm. All i know is my own sexual past and now hers. And yes if that is considered a slut then i don't care if i love her i'm refuse to build a life with an ex-slut. You can say thats not true love or not but i think its shows a lack of character and self respect to get with that many guys. Am i wrong? And maybe i leave her and its the biggest mistake of my life, but I'm a firm believer that there a plenty of fish in the sea and i can find one that didn't wrap her mouth around 50 dicks.

[muffinman15]

ignorance is bliss i agree.. but just because i asked a question i dont like the answer to doesn't mean i shouldn't have asked. And ya i do have a problem with a girl being easy and not making a guy work for her attention and intimacy. A women should have more respect for herself than that.

[MerryH]

I i don't care if i love her i'm refuse to build a life with an ex-slut.

That's it, then. End of thread. Problem solved.

[muffinman15]

ya once i clarify if 50 BJs is considerably above average.. so if you can give you opinion on that, then u might be of some help... instead of criticizing me.

[MerryH]

I did give you an opinion on that. And I don't think I was critical of you. Why are you crying?

This is what you said:

i don't care if i love her i'm refuse to build a life with an ex-slut.

What else is there to talk about?

[hello1]

50 bjs is a hell of alot. I wonder why she did it? what is she getting out of it? maybe you should ask her why, maybe she has self confidence issue or was going through a bad stage of her life.

As a woman I find it quite disgusting she could suck off so many random men and I would not blame you if you could not see a future. Ewww you know

[KingZ]

Oh hey, it's another thread where a guy is saying, "Oh no, I asked a lot of invasive questions about my girl's sexual past and now I can't deal with it!"

Protip: Don't ask those questions unless you're prepared to hear things you might not want to hear.

Her "number" is probably higher than average, but how does that change your relationship? You like her, she likes you. You're not worried about her cheating on you or anything like that, so...it sounds pretty good.

I personally think you're being silly. You've been kissing her for the past 8 months. She's not a different person now that you know more details.



This sort of bothered me. As if the only legitimate BJ is one given only after the girl is taken out to dinner. OMG how dare she give BJs for pleasure and get nothing in return! Slut.

Anyway, if you can't get over it, then just break up with her.

Could you possibly be any more awesome?

[Charlie Boy II]

That's a lot of cock.

[steviej]

You need to watch 'clerks'!

The guy in that has a problem because his girlfriend had sucked 35? (Something like that) different guys off.

50 is slut territory.

I know how you feel, but can't help think you're punishing her for her past that had nothing to do with you.
If your issue with this is that great then yeah, walk away.

[Regnent]

If you've defined her as a (ex) slut, why are you here asking about it?
Hell, I havn't gotten head in like 6 years, maybe she likes it?

I doubt you're ever going to 'forget' her past activities, but just make up your mind.

On a side note, I don't know my wifes #'s, but I do know chunks of her history, and from what I can tell, an active or more extreme past can lead to some serious sexual issues.

[xxazurexx]

I get sick to death of seeing the same old, same old subject come up....in regard to the sexual past of a gf...YaaWWWWWnnnn

There are thousands of threads like this one.....in fact this must be the most 'done to death' topic on here.

Try doing a search FFS!!!

So what if she's had her gob around a few dicks.....you've probably had your gob and tongue tucked into a few vags.

If she's a slut, or you think she is and you aren't happy...you have what is known as a 'choice'...DUMP HER, instead of whinging.

Whinging won't change her past.

You either accept it or you don't and leave her.

[DoesntMatter]

That's a lot of cock.

This is what I was thinking