why is it like this????

[vnhrmth]

i was in love with a girl for almost 3 years and still love her, but i never told her that i loved her!! she treats me as a very good friend..i know deep down that she also loves me the way i do.i havent told her because i dont want to start a relationship yet!! but now a new problem has emerged from nowhere,another guy has proposed her and she asked what she should do!! whether she should say yes to that guy or not!! i was so heart broken after that incident that things have changed completely!!! i used to be a jolly person now i have become lifeless!! i really love her very much!! there is another thing which i need to tell!! we have had a lot of coincidences!! and i mean A LOT!! Many times i beleive that she might be the perfect soulmate for me,we understand each other so well that we share everything!! so i wanted to ask should i express my feelings at this point of time when she is with someone already?? please let me know i am in a emotional turmoil!! so kindly PLEASE guide me!! THANKS!!

i get jealous when i see her with him, i really love her,she asks me if she looks good with him,and all i do is boil down inside,i feel she loves him,i dont why, but when i think that, then there is an equally powerful opposition thought to it,and that is that she cares abt me,she tells me that i am the only guy whom she likes to talk to,i give her many chocolates and stuff!! but i know that doesnt make a girl fall in love with you!! its just that i like to say that i love her iindirectly..she asked me once whether would i propose a girl or not? and i just said i like to express my love and not tell!! we are like soulmates like really i am not kidding!!!! i come to know if she is upset by just looking at her,and she also can figure that in me!! she tells me so many time that we understand each other very well!! but STILL she is with the other guy!! how bad can this be?? should i forget her? or should i tell her that i love her!! i am afraid what if she says no!!! pleassee tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please!!!! when that guy proposed her i asked whether she loves him and she said she didnt want to lose him,the problem is that i dont know where am i standing!! does she really love him?? like really?? may be i guess i should forget her and continue living my life which is actually very difficult coz i cant stop thinking about her!!

[lovinggrace]

Tell her. Best to get it out things might end up changing for the best that way. Just dont blurt it out. Tell her you need to talk, invite her out for a meal then just tell her how you feel (calmly of course).
Hope things work out for you!

[Mangochan]

So wait. You love her, she is your soulmate but you don't want a relationship with her. And you expect her to wait around for you to decide you want a relationship? That's not fair to her at all. I think you screwed up and maybe lost her. It's not like you had anything to fear by asking her out before since you "knew" she had feelings for you. I'm calling BS.

Now that she's decided to move on with her life, you might be SoL. If you really want to make it up to her though, I agree with lovinggrace. Tell her. Get her alone and tell her you need to talk. Tell her that you're sorry you kept it in and you're just revealing it now (Because now you're making it hard on her.) and how you feel. If she says no, though, let it go. You're the one that messed up here by waiting because you "didn't want a relationship".

[Ric]

*not female*

You say a guy proposed out of nowhere... that sounds a bit... off. I would assume they have been dating for quite some time but you never expected him to propose.
If they've only been dating for a real short time and he already proposed, even taking your own feelings for her out of the equation, it might be a great idea to tell her to not rush things.

[Mangochan]

I don't think he means proposed in that sense. I think he means proposed her to go out with him. I could be wrong though. Unless it's a cultural thing that I'm not aware of.

[VincenzoG91]

"Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them"

[url=http://artofmanliness.com/2008/01/16/stop-hanging-out-with-women-and-start-dating-them/]How to Ask a Girl Out | The Art of Manliness[/url]

[Ric]

I don't think he means proposed in that sense. I think he means proposed her to go out with him. I could be wrong though. Unless it's a cultural thing that I'm not aware of.

Ahh, that would make more sense actually.
If that's the case, and she's asking you for advice, I'd personally read it as "Should I go out with him, or will you finally make a move?!"

[vnhrmth]

i get jealous when i see her with him, i really love her,she asks me if she looks good with him,and all i do is boil down inside,i feel she loves him,i dont why, but when i think that, then there is an equally powerful opposition thought to it,and that is that she cares abt me,she tells me that i am the only guy whom she likes to talk to,i give her many chocolates and stuff!! but i know that doesnt make a girl fall in love with you!! its just that i like to say that i love her iindirectly..she asked me once whether would i propose a girl or not? and i just said i like to express my love and not tell!! we are like soulmates like really i am not kidding!!!! i come to know if she is upset by just looking at her,and she also can figure that in me!! she tells me so many time that we understand each other very well!! but STILL she is with the other guy!! how bad can this be?? should i forget her? or should i tell her that i love her!! i am afraid what if she says no!!! pleassee tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please!!!! when that guy proposed her i asked whether she loves him and she said she didnt want to lose him,the problem is that i dont know where am i standing!! does she really love him?? like really?? may be i guess i should forget her and continue living my life which is actually very difficult coz i cant stop thinking about her!!

[keepsmiling]

i used to be a jolly person now i have become lifeless!! i really love her very much!!

before your agony makes you lose that trust and freindship with this girl, tell her about ur feelings, i know its a cliche, but ask urself this - can you live with her never knowing how much you loved her ?

even if she doesn't say yes, you will feel better, dont let this go to a stage where the realtionship between you two ends up in a state of formalities. tell her about your feelings, otherwise a time will come when you will hate urself for not doing so, and memories of the times spent together will just eat everybit of ur heart.

may be i guess i should forget her and continue living my life which is actually very difficult coz i cant stop thinking about her!!

you wont be able to forget her, not for a very long time, and you will die every day, thinking how different things would have been if you had just told her.

there is all possibilty that she was waiting for you too..

[vnhrmth]

i know ur right, i guess i should tell her,but i am worried that she might feel bad!! you see i really love her,i dont want to hurt her,neither i want to lose her, but i guess i should tell her!! i always feel that she was made for me!!!! i am not saying like its the puppy love or nonsense stuff but i really feel it!! we are like lucky charms for each other,if i wish her good luck then she accomplishes things,same with me!! another thing is that once that other guy has come in her life she looks happy at times she becomes miserable at times and even i too become,but i still dont get it?? y isnt she realizing that she might be with the wrong guy?? is she really waiting for me?? or am i just fantasizing?? she still remembers how we met and stuff like that!!!is this only friendship?? i know there is some connection, and i really feel!! coz i havent felt this with anyone else till now in my life!! the amount of coincidences we have is enormous!! once i dint speak to her for around a week i guess, she said i came in her dreams and spoke to her,and guess what?? i also have dreams about her!! its realy spooky though!!anyways i will tell her!!hope its soon!! just dont want to lose her though!!

[keepsmiling]

but i am worried that she might feel bad!!

no one feels bad if they are loved.. she wont either. if you care for her, she will feel it, and i bet she has felt that care a lot. she Might feel bad initially, more awkward than bad really, but if you ask me, she has already felt your love. and from what you are saying

she still remembers how we met and stuff like that

she cherishes your friendship, and the care you show for her. if now, being lifeless and hurt , you decide to start avoiding her because of this

may be i guess i should forget her and continue living my life

feeling of urs, that will hurt her more than your telling her about your feelings.

pour your heart out to her, she might cry, she might feel bad, but she will love you for loving her so much.

if you truly love her, and not just physically, she will be able to feel it, and EVEN IF she says "no", to her you will always be the guy she can trust, the guy who "has been" and "always will be there for me". for any man, that is a lot. i think you can get what im saying here..

make her happy, so that you can always see that lovely smile u love so much, so that she feels like smiling whenever your around her. that is pure love, u still have it, dont lose it.
be honest to her. honesty has its results, even if it takes some time for those results to come out.

[vnhrmth]

thanks for the support you have given me!! i love her!! its not mere physical but true love!! i know it and i will always want her to see happy!! u know what... i always keep telling her to smile when she is upset!! i guess that solves it!! anyways i will tell her that i love her soon!! its ok if she is still with the other guy!! i will be happy for her always!! thanks for the support!!!! i am feeling happy already coz i know that love need not to be 2 sided always!!!!

[keepsmiling]

i am feeling happy already coz i know that love need not to be 2 sided always!!!!

ur thinking the wrong things.. she does love you... maybe she is going out with another guy, but love doesnt always means going out, getting physical or anything. be the man she can always turn to when things go wrong... that feeling of being the most valuable to someone you love so much.. it has a feeling of its own. hope she realizes your love. i hope all goes well for you..

and dont let her go..."yes" or "no", whatever the reply maybe, keep her (atleast) as the friend she always was...
cheers
keepsmiling

[vnhrmth]

i am always there for her and always will be there!!! only thing i feel bad about is that i always feel i am neglected!! which is not the case!! she cares about me!! i have seen it!! she shares her secrets with me!! eg her family issues which she never discloses to anyone!! but when i ask her why she is upset then she tells me everything!! and also tells me that she hasnt told this to anyone else in the world!!! anyways friend or love!! i dont want to lose either of any!! even if she cant be my girl i will still be her friend!! only this jealousness should nt arise when she is with someone else!! thats all!!

[keepsmiling]

only this jealousness should nt arise when she is with someone else!! thats all!!

wish you all the best with this... i hope it works out for you..