Ways to build self confidence?

[JadenMia]

So i have self confidence issues.. trust issues.. jealousy issues.. A lot of issues really! lol

I just left my partner of over a year and im feeling shittier than ever.. I realise from my past relationships i have a lot of work to do with myself personally.
I especially want to work on my self esteem issues.. I never believe in myself, to be able to do anything.. Never believe that anyone could like/love me.

I just want to be confident in myself to acheive things, be able to be attracted to the right men in the future and get what i actually deserve in relationships.

Has anyone actually accomplished breaking themselves of these issues before? If so, how?
What are some tips to try to overcome my jealousy and self esteem issues..
I really want to try better myself now im alone, free and actually have time to myself!

Thanks in advance.

[Yet another guy]

Well, you have already managed to get yourself partners so your self confidence can't be too bad.
Once the confidence drops so low that one can't get a partner it's much harder to get back.
I suppose what usually helps with self esteem is friends, hobbies and healthy living.

[EnjoyingLife]

I always try to challenge any negative feelings I have regarding the issues you mentioned. Whenever you think a negative thought about yourself or put yourself down, replace the thought with one that tells yourself what you are great at!

[donidian41]

start to change your mindset:
I never believe in myself, to be able to do anything----> i always believe in my self, to be able to do everything
Never believe that anyone could like/love me----> always believe that every one love me

keep that buzzing in your head, coz u could achieve every thing in this world if you believe it. chance your mindset n your self confidence would also changed

[AirbenderAang]

Trust and jealousy are pretty much the same issue. Once you make progress on one, you will make progress on the other. This brings us to the one core issue, self-confidence. In order to trust, you have to have enough self confidence to feel like you are worthy of someone's love. This doesn't take away the fact that you may be cheated on or you may be hurt. You can't control someone else's behavior, but you can surely trust them until they prove you wrong. Then if they break your trust you know that they were not really worth it in the first place. You deserve someone who is trustworthy and that trustworthy person also deserves your trust.

How do you develop self-confidence? Focus your attention on the present and future, remembering all of your past sucesses and failures. Successes are good because they remind us that everyone of us has done good things in the pasts. Failures are actually even more important than successes. You can learn a lot from failure, if you can get past the fact that you weren't born perfect. No one was born perfect. Just because we make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes are epic, that does not mean we are destined to fail in everything we do for the rest of our lives. If you have the power to recognize a mistake, then you have the power to correct that mistake. The key with everything is to start small and build up.

Start looking at all of the dimensions of your life. Envision how you would like each dimension to be better. Or, how would you like to be better in each dimension (Social, career, romantic, physical health, spiritual health, family, community). Remember start small and build up. Then as you take baby steps towards a better life, remember to congratulate yourself for the good and hard work. Your self-confidence will grow.

[acloy]

yes I have gone through before. I think the only solution to solve this is change your mindset... Don't make something your whole world, there's much more thing to enjoy in this world... I know it is difficult to gain confidence in a short time, but I believe you surely can do it one day, at least you have the determination to change yourself, which are better than a lot of people^^

[JadenMia]

Thanks for all the answers. I am going to keep in mind to keep changing my negative feelings into positive ones.
I do have a lot to work on, I am slowly trying and i think im getting the hang of things.. The trouble is i always depend on other people for my happiness. Someones company, someones nice words etc. I am concentrating trying to be happy with MYSELF. Reminding myself i do not need anyone for happiness works wonders.

I have began to think about the success in my life and when i think about it, i really have done a lot to be proud of!! I have finished school whilst being pregnant, gotten through teenage motherhood, gotten out of an abusive relationship with my daughters father and made a whole new life on my own in a different country. These are things that i never thought of.. lol My friend sat me down one night and explained not many people have to go through the crap i did. And that i must be strong because i am still striving with a smile on my face. She made me think about things in a whole new way. Couldnt thank her enough!
I always thought of what i had messed up on. What i have ruined, who i have lost.. I can use those mistakes i made to learn no to do the same bad things.. To remember what it was that ruined things.

I am still struggling with insecurity. I worry a lot!! But i have noticed a difference and very pleased with the progress i am making.
Thanks everybody

[Hannu]

I suggest seeking help from an NLP Coach or attending an NLP Practitioner course. Just make sure the coach/trainer is licensed by Richard Bandler, the co-creator of NLP.