Girl is upset at me, what to do? :(

[IncognitoSir]

She's pissed at you. . . That's how girls work. She probably is trying to make you jealous, but don't you think that going to those extremes just to make you jealous makes it clear that you're the man who truly matters in her life?
I'll admit that some women like to manipulate men, but this definitely isn't the case. You matter to her, and that's why she's trying to get your attention. I'd still go and say sorry and reconcile with her, and then you'll she that she isn't trying to just use you. You shouldn't think the worst here, I mean you matter to her it's obvious. I don't think she's just playing with you here.

You have a lot to learn.

[debris]

You have a lot to learn.

How would you go about talking to her later then? I'd really appreciate your insight on that

[Dan555]

I've been reading your comments and they're all negative. . . ALL of them. You think that love doesn't exist, and that all women are just manipulators that use men for their own benefit. Probably true in some cases, but I've had several relationships and they've all been ****ing enchanting. . . I don't know if your negative perspective comes from a heartbreak or something, but love does exist even it seems such a fantasy for many.

[IncognitoSir]

I've been reading your comments and they're all negative. . . ALL of them. You think that love doesn't exist, and that all women are just manipulators that use men for their own benefit. Probably true in some cases, but I've had several relationships and they've all been ****ing enchanting. . . I don't know if your negative perspective comes from a heartbreak or something, but love does exist even it seems such a fantasy for many.

Actually, my post are REALISTIC, something you're lacking. Heartbreak is meant to learn from and yes, I've learned. I VERY much doubt you've read even a quarter of my 839 comments son. So shut it lol. Seriously though, your advice is inadequate my friend. The situation is what it is. Based on the information provided, and my COMMON sense, you don't make someone jealous to SHOW how much you care for them, are you ****ing kidding me??? If YOU think that's how you show your care for someone, you're in for a rocky ride on these forums my friend.

[debris]

You both are offering great input and I very much appreciate it.

@Incognito; your posts in the thread puts a lot of things in perspective for me, I can see what you're trying to get at...I suppose I'm being narrow-minded and focusing on too small of a thing and not taking in the whole situation and getting the whole story.

@Dan; I am definitely taking your advice to heart as I know this girl is really into me as well as her friends have noticed and I can tell she's not the typical girl Incognito is speaking off, I am being optimistic in the situation and willing to make this work out, but by also taking Incognito's words, most definitely will not in the process be putting her on a pedestal and being at her mercy.

[Dan555]

Lol, friend (XD), you've got a serious problem. You're trying to ruin a relationship that can clearly be fixed. You're talking about a stereotypical bitch that doesn't care about anyone, and you think that is being realistic? That's being pesimist and ignorant. The girl that broke up with you probably had her reasons, and if she was this stereotypical bitch you speak of then it's your fault for getting into that in the first place. Tell me this, if immediatly after a fight your girlfriend goes to extremes to try to make you jealous, don't you think that the main thing she's thinking about is YOU? If she didn't give a **** about you, then why would she bother trying to make you jealous?

@debris: I'm not saying that you should beg for mercy man, that would be self humiliating and would make you sound as desperate as somebody can be. All I'm saying is that you should say sorry and reconcile with her. . . Do you honestly want to lose her for something as stupid as this? Swallow your self pride this time, because she's not trying to control you. She loves you and it's ****ing obvious to me and definitelty to you, so don't risk losing her.

[Regnent]

You did reject her.
You were tired, and didn't feel like going out.
Yah, you probably sounded dickish/short on the phone, being woken up and all.

There's nothing you can do but agree that yah, you were probably short, and yes, you did reject her. But it doesn't mean you were at any sort of fault. You didn't want to, it was your choice.
If she can't let that go, then it's her problem, not yours.

And the late night friend the following day was a revenge thing probably.

My advise, don't let her use this as a control thing. You were not unreasonable, you didn't do anything 'wrong'. Stick to you didn't want to go out because you were tired. She'll either get over it, or she won't.

Unless you want to be put on a leash, stand your ground.

[SelflessnHumble]

(1) She is incessantly immature, needy, selfish and does not *as of yet* have a firm grasp on who she is and what she wants.
(2) She is an opportunist who sought out to punish you for a choice YOU wanted to make.

These two combos added in tandem with the fact you don't have a commitment tells me:
-She doesn't owe you anything, neither do you.


Did you sound like a dick? A real man would own that shit and apologize then and there when she brought it up.
(Then again an interested man would have jumped at the moment to meet her friends) She felt rejected.

No matter your intent: it has been done. So what to do now?
If you give her space: she will fell more rejected. Why would you need to give her space?
Is it because you'd rather let time apologize for you instead of manning up to what you did personally?

She did not overreact.
I'm so sick of people getting together and having shit for communication.

She didn't overreact: SHE told YOU how she felt.
What did you do with that valuable information? Sock it into a drawer for a rainy day?
The future outlook doesn't look too good.

[Dan555]

I agree with the above poster. Both of you have commited mistakes, but now that everything's been done, the only thing you can do is talk to one another, without hiding any feelings, and fix the mistakes you've both made.

[Regnent]

She did not overreact.
I'm so sick of people getting together and having shit for communication.

eh, if she tells him how she felt, and that was that, then yes, that's communication.
If she's holding onto it, staying mad, and possibly acting vengefully, then no, she's over reacting.

He was tired. She felt rejected, dissapointed, and probably insulted. That's fine, it's also fine to say 'no'.
He should still be recognizing her feelings about it, but she should also be a little mature, and recognize that hey, I woke him up, and he didn't want to get up.

Communication and understanding is a two way street.

[girl68]

From a girls POV her little text with the heart.... that IS her way of saying I'm soryy lets make up, But I also think you didnt do anything wrong and shouldn't apologize! But you could say I'm sorry you took what I said as I was ditching you or anything that's not what I meant and I'm sorry you took it that way. That is not apologizing, for your mistake because you didn't make one. She simply over reacted.

AND she's entitled to date around, he hasn't made it official.

[debris]

From a girls POV her little text with the heart.... that IS her way of saying I'm soryy lets make up, But I also think you didnt do anything wrong and shouldn't apologize! But you could say I'm sorry you took what I said as I was ditching you or anything that's not what I meant and I'm sorry you took it that way. That is not apologizing, for your mistake because you didn't make one. She simply over reacted.

AND she's entitled to date around, he hasn't made it official.

The little text was from two weeks ago :/

I like that, apologizing, but on a way that doesn't put me at fault for something I did.

[girl68]

Oh... my bad.

Okay then I suggest you apologize in that way "I'm sorry you feel that way". She should be able to fess up to her over reacting. Tell her you're a bit unhappy as well. In the way you don't feel like you should have been reemed out and ignored because you went home and didn't feel like getting up to go out. And that her reaction seemed unjustified. She should apologize, because yes, as everyone says: she totally over reacted!

[Anony123]

You could have handled this one of two ways....

Ask her to communicate why she felt offended by you declining her invitation OR simply explain to her that the timing was off, you were asleep and her invitation caught you by surprise since it was so last minute, and then tell her that you are looking forward to seeing her again. I think her response may have been a bit more "sensitive" given you are not in an exclusive/established relationship and you have only been dating for a month. Generally during that time, the male pursues the woman by asking her out on dates, planning dates, etc. so I think since she placed herself in that role, and you rejected it, that may have something to do with it. Still, for someone to call someone when they are asleep and asking that person out at the last minute - they need to be reasonable in terms of a response, such as her saying to herself "hey, he was sleeping and I woke him up, I'll let him go back to sleep and ask him out another time".

[debris]

Should I inquire or casually bring up her 'date' night yesterday and how so? What do you guys thing?

I mean I don't want to be all like "Oh, what did you guys do? Did you guys do anything? Did you kiss? blah blah"
But I also don't want to just ignore like it didn't happen.

Could I ask if she'll be seeing him again?

It's just that I never dated another girl who was also seeing/will be seeing another guy and don't know how to feel about that...